ESPN: We’ll continue to stir the HGH pot

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Boy would I hate to live in Canada

Nothing brightens up a Friday morning better than a hot cup of coffee, the morning paper, and a story on ESPN about a company fined over HGH distribution. Sweet. George Mitchell again has reason to live. And there I thought he’d string himself up in his closet, what with the lack of steroid news for, oh, a week and a half.

So why do I write about this if I have such contempt for the issue? Well, it appears that someone we know may be implicated:

The U.S. Attorney’s office disagrees, saying that Specialty supplied HGH for a “well-known” athlete in Massachusetts and an “entertainer/athlete” who received a shipment was 6-foot-5, 276 pounds, according to the New York Daily News.

Unfortunately, there appears to be a separation between the “well-known” athlete in Massachusetts and the “entertainer/athlete” whose dimensions are given. Because you know who kind of fits those dimensions? Yeah. Ortiz. And no, I’m not at all implying that he’s the one in question. He’s listed as 6-foot-4, 230, though it’s clear he’s just a wee bit heavier than that. It’s just funny to poke fun at Red Sox fans. Plus, I interpret “entertainer/athlete” as “professional wrestler.”

That said, the “well-known” athlete in Massachusetts is likely Rodney Harrison, who has already been busted by the NFL. So yeah, we can poke fun, but we can’t make any serious allegations.

Steroid stories are George Mitchell’s Viagra. Go bang a hooker tonight, George.

Tip o’ the hat to Tony

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Boy would I hate to live in Canada
  • Ben K.

    You’re going down, Tom Brady.

  • steve (different one)

    if it was Ortiz, they wouldn’t be able to keep it under wraps. it would be too juicy of a story.

    kindof like how the “outfielder for an AL playoff team” in 2005 turned out to be Matt Lawton….

    • Joseph P.

      And everyone was saying “it’s Johny Damon! It’s Johnny Damon!”

  • mg

    Oh baby, you know when the tag is Irresponsible Rumormongering it’s gonna be good and juicy…

    • Joseph P.

      It’s in my Top 3 favorite tags.

  • Mike A.

    Gotta be Dustin Pedroia. How else could that little shrimp hit ML pitching?

    • Ben K.

      The 6-foot-5-inch, 276-pound evil twin of Dustin Pedroia?

      • Mike A.

        I neglected to read the size part. My bad.

  • E-ROC

    That would suck for Red Sox nation if it turns out to be Ortiz. They’re currently in a monumental collapse, then this story would certainly put the hurtin’ on those people. Yikes! The only wrestler that I can think of that’s from Massachusetts is John Cena. But he isn’t 6-7.

  • Steve

    The other guy is the Rock.