Feb
08

Carl Pavano throws, does not get injured

By

Carl Pavano showed up in Tampa and had a 12-minute catch from 90 feet, according to the Associated Press. Wouldn’t it be ironic if Pavano were to arrive in the Bronx after the All Star Break to spell the Big Three now and then as they near their innings cap?

Categories : Asides
  • Jeterismyhomeboy

    Please God, no. Pleeeeeeease.

    Carl, just go away. For your sake. And everyone else’s.

  • Curramba

    Yeah right, hahaha, he’ll probably be hurt the first time he throws off the mound. I can see him being back under the knife again or maybe he’ll break ribs on the opposite side this time. That’s a good one though. Pavano on a mound again for the Yankees. I can’t stop laughing.

  • Tripp

    You think they even give him a locker?

  • steve (different one)

    i think that would break the irony meter.

    if he is throwing from 90 feet in february, what kind of schedule does that put him on? is there even a *chance* he could pitch this year?

    i think it would be hilarious.

    • http://www.riveraveblues.com Ben K.

      The timetable runs from 12-18 months. Pavano had surgery in May. Maybe, if he recovers quickly, he could be back by August 1. But Carl Pavano has not shown a tendency to recover quickly.

  • Manimal

    This just in, Carl Pavano donates his rotator cuff to Curt Schilling, Pavano out indeffinately.

  • Ben B.

    It’s possible the Yankees asked him to report, but otherwise, since his contract is up this year and it looks unlikely he’ll be able to pitch in a ML game this year, it’s a little obnoxious for him to show up and use the team’s facilities. I realize the team needs to keep him in the organization, for insurance purposes, and maybe they did ask him to report for some reason, but otherwise, I’m not sure I would want him around. And, any time that Dave Eiland spends with Pavano is (a) time he is spending on a pitcher who will likely never help the organization again, and (b) time he is not spending on pitchers who will.

  • Sam

    Ben, reading that title in my RSS feeder was just the highlight of the afternoon.

  • J SOT

    Being that it’s a contract year, he’ll quit the blow for a couple of months and pitch well enough down the stretch to dupe another team into paying him more than he’s worth (i.e. paying him)

  • Mike R.

    This just in. Carl Pavano ruptured a cornea while watching TV. He should be out 12 months.

  • dan

    I don’t see the irony, but it would be very funny.

  • Rich

    Look on the bright side: He’s playing for a contract!!!

  • bostonsucks@life

    Seriously, I didn’t realize he was still alive ? Please tell this assbag to go away.

  • Barry

    10 bucks says pavano goes 6 and 3 with a 3.34 era after the break lol

  • E-ROC

    LMAO, What the hell is an a$$bag??

    Anything Carl Pavano provides would be a plus. I wonder if he will be better than Moose, if he returns to pitch for the Yankees. Could be trade bait. Reds anyone?

  • RobertGKramer

    If Pavano can eat some innings in August and September and we have a double digit lead on the RSox we’d all be happy, wouldn’t we?

  • http://www.riveraveblues.com Ben K.

    I was wrong about when Pavano had surgery. The reports are saying he had it on June 5 and not in early May. So his timetable for return puts him back probably around August if at all this year. It just depends how badly he wants it and how his body responds.

  • bostonsucks@life

    I’m not sure what exactly an assbag is its just something I’ve been saying for a while. But I guess we can now define it as carl pavano

  • LiveFromNewYork

    Last year he pitched Opening Day or “The Day We Had No One Else Available”.

    He said he knew he had to regain (as if he ever had) the respect of his teammates. The Yankees are pretty tight-lipped about all that goes on behind closed doors but the treatment of Carl Pavano as pariah in the locker room was pretty well documented.

    So after the “sincere” apologies to the fans and teammates and Yankee organization, he vies, once again, for the lead in “Fra-Jilly – The Opera.”

    And now he’s there breathing the same rarefied air as other Yankees.

    Run him out of town.

  • Jeff

    I couldn’t imagine the day he would return to the mound. Boos would not cove it.

  • eric from morrisania

    No, I disagree… I can see it now…

    August 12th he makes his rehab debut in Trenton, has three good turns in the rotation, gets a September callup (hey, he’s on the 40-man), and makes 2 quality appearances out of the pen. Girardi throws him a bone and gives him a start in the final week of the season (since we’re up 13 games on the Sox and just setting up our rotation for the ALDS) and Pavano THROWS A NO-NO against the Blue Jays!!!

    Girardi goes with his gut and gives the final spot on the postseason roster to Pavano, and he goes 3-0 in 6 relief appearances, pitching 13 scoreless innings throughout the playoffs, solidifying our bullpen, redeeming himself as a Yankee and finally earning a WS ring.

    ——————————————————————–

    He then signs a fat FA contract with his hometown Red Sox, desperate for pitching (since Schilling retired and Wakefield, Dice-K, and Jon Lester went a combined 28-41 in 2008) for 4 years, $53M… and then in Spring Training 2009 he suffers a ruptured assbone and a lacerated doohickey and hits the DL. During his rehab session he takes a physical where it is discovered that he doesn’t actually have any cartilage between any of his bones, only a strange mushy green substance that is later revealed to be fermented, congealed hardened O’Douls non-alcoholic beer. He retires on the spot.

    And then he goes to George Mitchell and tells him that every single member of the Red Sox organization, from John Henry on down to the ballboys, are on anabolic steroids, HGH, Andro, Clomid, the Clear, the Creme, horse testosterone, blood doping regimens, amphetamines, crystal methamphetamine, cocaine, heroine, Mountain Dew, gasoline, and they all eat three whole bull testicles at every meal. They also cheat by videotaping the other teams dugout, and they bet on more games than Pete Rose ever did. He has videotaped confessions from everyone, as well as footage and syringes and calendars and betting slips.

    Mitchell does nothing.

    The end.