Jun
11

Hank Steinbrenner joins media ranks

By

The Sporting News, demonstrating that it can adapt, is changing formats starting in September, going to a semi-monthly publication, rather than the weekly format it has right now. Feature articles and analysis will fill its pages, keeping the timely material mainly relegated to the website, where it will deliver daily content to registered users. For anyone who keeps up with these matters, this is refreshing. Publishing simply doesn’t work like it used to, and the sooner the mainstream press figures this out, the better off we’ll all be.

Of interest to Yankees fans is that our bombastic co-owner, Hank Steinbrenner, will pen a monthly column. My initial reaction is that this will end badly. Yet I’m eager to read his first article. What the hell is he going to write about?

Categories : Asides
  • jsbrendog

    thats enough for me to subscribe hahaha the best news since trying to trade latroy

  • tommiesmithjohncarlos

    Check it out, I’m the C-A-S-A, the N-O-V-A,
    And the rest is F-L-Y,
    You see I go by the code of the doctor of the mix,
    And these reasons I’ll tell you why.
    You see, I’m six foot one and I’m tons of fun
    When I dress to a T,
    You see, I got more clothes than Muhammad Ali
    and I dress so viciously.
    I got bodyguards, I got two big cars
    That definitely ain’t the wack,
    I got a Lincoln Continental and a sunroofed Cadillac.
    So after school I take a dip in the pool,
    Which is really on the wall,
    I got a color TV, so I can see
    The Knicks play basketball.
    Hear me talk about
    Checkbooks, credit cards, mo’ money
    Than a sucker could ever spend,
    But I wouldn’t give a sucker or a bum form the Rucker
    Not a dime ’til I made it again.

    Well, I’m Imp the Dimp, the ladies’ pimp,
    The women fight for my delight.
    But I’m the grandmaster with the three MCs
    That shock the house for the young ladies
    And when you come inside, into the front,
    You do the freak, spank, and do the bump
    And when the sucker MC try to prove a point,
    We’re a treacherous trio, we’re the serious joint!
    From sun to sun and from time to time
    I sit down and write a brand new rhyme
    Because they say that miracles never cease
    I’ve created a devastating masterpiece
    I’m gonna rock the mic ’til you can’t resist,
    Everybody, I say it goes like this
    Well, I was walking home late one afternoon
    A reporter stopped me for an interview
    She said she’s heard stories and she’s heard fables
    That I’m vicious on the mic and the turntable
    This young reporter I did adore,
    So I rocked some vicious rhymes like I never did before
    She said, “Damn, fly guy, I’m in love with you
    The Casanova legend must have been true”
    I said, “By the way, baby, what’s your name?”
    Said, “I go by name of Lois Lane
    And you could be my boyfriend, you surely can,
    Just let me quit my boyfriend called Superman.”
    I said, “He’s a fairy, I do suppose
    Flyin’ through the air in pantyhose
    He may be very sexy, or even cute,
    But he looks like a sucker in a blue and red suit,”
    I said, “You need a man man who’s got finesse
    And his whole name across his chest
    He may be able to fly all through the night,
    But can he rock a party ’til the early light?
    He can’t satisfy you with his little worm,
    But I can bust you out with my super sperm!”

    I go do it, I go do it, I go do it, do it, do it.
    And I’m here, and I’m there, I’m Big Bank Hank, I’m everywhere
    Just throw your hands up in the air
    And party hardy like you just don’t care
    Let’s do it, don’t stop, y’all, a tick tock, y’all, you don’t stop!
    Go “Ho-tel, Mo-tel, whatcha gonna do today?” (Say what?)
    I’m gonna get a fly girl, gonna get some spank, drive off in a def OJ,
    Everybody go, “Ho-tel, mo-tel, Holiday Inn,”
    I say if your girl starts actin’ up, then you take her friend!
    I say skip, dive, what can I say?
    I can’t fit ‘em all inside my OJ,
    So I just take half, and bust ‘em out,
    I give the rest to Master Gee so he can shock the house!

    • Geno

      Wow. Have you been waiting for a Hank post so you could use this?

      • tommiesmithjohncarlos

        It’s called Google searching the lyrics, cutting, and pasting. It’s not that hard…

        • Geno

          Right. At this point, I’ll just reiterate my original “wow”

  • Manimal

    am I the only yankee fan that likes hank? brings back some of the thoughts of King George when he was healthy.

    • jsbrendog

      i love him cause hes unpredictable and exciting until he gets too involved and signs teixera over a luncheon without telling cashman or hal

      • Lanny

        Did he trade for Santana when he desperately wanted him??

  • Number 27

    sorry this is off topic

    there’s been some talk about all the money the yanks have coming off the books in 2009 (around 85 mil if my math is right). My question is:

    How many draft picks would the Yanks get for letting the likes of Giambi, Abreu, Pettitte, Farnsworth and co. go to free agency next year?
    I understand some of them (Pettitte and Mussina) may retire. We wouldn’t get picks for them then right?

    Thanks

  • RustyJohn

    Maybe it will be like Larry King’s USA Today column…

    “Call me crazy, but I just love gouda cheese.”

    “Want to rent a video tonight? Two words- Brokeback Mountain.”

    “Jeff Bridges has to be one of the most underrated actors in the world. His performance in ‘Starman’ was top-notch!”

    “How come all fastfood menus no longer have words and have been replaced with pictures and prices?”

    • LiveFromNewYork

      I caught Kathy Griffin on Larry King and all I could think of was:

      1. He doesn’t get her at all.
      2. This is so going to be in her next standup.

  • RustyJohn

    As a side note, I remember seeing George Steinbrenner on Leno in the early-mid 90s…I want to say 1994 or 1995. Matthew Broderick was on before him and sitting on the sofa and George had a quintesential George moment during the interview. He turned to Broderick and said, “By the way, son, great job in ‘Glory’, a terrific movie.” This left Broderick sitting there with a look on his face that led me to belive he was thinking, “‘Glory’? I made that seven years ago! Did he just see that?” Regardless, Matt, whether he say it seven years ago or the night before, it made quite an impression.

    • RustyJohn

      *saw it seven years ago

  • Matt M.

    …as long as having him turn into “the media” doesnt involve him catching that “JOBA SHOULD BE AN 8TH INNING SET UP GUY” bug that’s been going around wit dem folk

  • Lanny

    The Sporting News is still around??