Open Thread: Uni-Watch Edition
ByPaul Lukas is one obsessive compulsive dude. The man who slaves over Page 2′s Uni-Watch is back this week with a Sabathia sized edition of “who’s the fattest Yankee ever?” Well, at least that’s what it boils down to. Is it CC? The Babe? Boomer? Find out for yourself.
(Oh yeah. We’re totally stretched for Open Thread content these days. H/t to tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside)
Once you’re done checking out the Uni-Watch, use this as your open thread for the evening. There’s really no local sports to talk about, the Knickerbockers are off and the Rangers have a late start out on the west coast. Uh … go Orange I guess. Don’t forget to guard those sneaky half court shots.
Joba news: His DUI arraignment was pushed back to January 26th. It was supposed to be today, and the delay won’t affect anything as far as being ready for ST.
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Open Thread: Who will be the heir to Mo ?
STOP STIRRING UP HORNETS NESTS!!!!!
It makes me want to sting people.
Oh man Im a troublemaker.. Im so bad
Melancon
Seconded.
I keep telling my dad this when he says Joba should do that job but he just shrugs me off. I think most people who want Joba in the pen have no knowledge of the Yankee minor league system and are just generally short-sighted.
Yup. They know Joba exists, they’ve seen him do it, they feel no need to either think deeper on the topic (as in thinking that Joba as a starter is the best use of his talent or thinking that we’re better off having a hole at the back end of the bullpen than having a hole in the starting rotation) or look deeper in the organization for other ways to fill the hole (like Melancon, or Hungry Hungry Humberto, for example).
Joba + future hole in the pen = Joba to the pen + no more need to think any further + more time for eating pie
Bingo.
It would seem that so many Yankee fans have gotten used to the “win now” philosophy that the vast majority of them have just simply forgotten that there even is a minor league system.
I went to like 10 games this past season and had to explain who Austin Jackson is a few times. I shuddered.
The problem is how inherently lazy people are. It doesn’t take a lot to learn about the system, but it still takes more than most people are willing to do.
That’s why I can’t stand when people aren’t even knowing of next level stats.
I understand if people don’t want to use them or get too into them, but when they tell me “oh I heard of that but I have no idea what it means or what it’s about” (a la Murray Chass in his VORP piece) and then proceed to chastize it. It’s just straight up laziness.
Meh, that’s a rant for a different day I guess.
Murray Chass loves pie.
http://www.artchive.com/artchi.....d_pies.jpg
What’s better? Pie lover or cake eater?
http://pic80.picturetrail.com/.....902168.jpg
Joba + future hole in the pen = Joba to the pen + no more need to think any further + more time for eating pie
http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y60/oball/pie.jpg
http://gamesnet.vo.llnwd.net/o.....8_main.jpg
that is funny.
Obviously didnt get the joke
I’m guessing it’ll be someone we’ve never thought of. Some skinny Panamaian kid struggling to make it as a starter in AA or something …
Kelito Igawabañez?
As long as he throws a cutter
Noel Castillo
TEH JOBBER IS THE AIR TO MOW?!!?!one!11Eleventyone!
CivPro finally got to you, eh?
Oh god yes. Don’t even go there.
It will all be over soon
Yup. By this time tomorrow, I will be very drunk.
Me too man. 80′s night at the club tomorrow night !
Finally no request to play nice, let the shit talking begin.
pat, I’m going to beat the living crap out of you. I’ve always hated you, and I’m an e-tuff-guy.
You’re going down.
Before we start this, let’s go over the ground rules. Rule number 1: No touching of the hair or face … AND THAT’S IT!
I did NOT see that coming!
NOT SO FAST, INGRATES!!!!!
Ribs. I had ribs for lunch. That’s why I’m doing this.
I’m very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.
No I don’t know her name. What is it? Lanalan? La–La–Lanalan? Like sheep’s wool?
POLICIA !!!!
Guess what, I do. I know that one day Veronica and I are gonna to get married on top of a mountain, and there’s going to be flutes playing and trombones and flowers and garlands of fresh herbs. And we will dance till the sun rises. And then our children will form a family band. And we will tour the countryside and YOU WON’T BE INVITED!!!
We have a saying in my country – the coyote of the desert likes to eat the heart of the young and the blood drips down to his children for breakfast, lunch and dinner and only the ribs will be broken.
Well I love poetry. And a glass of scotch. And of course, my dog Baxter.
VERONICA CORNINGSTONE AND I HAD SEX AND NOW WE’RE IN LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE! Did I say that loud?
Uh-oh. I think I may be in trouble for that one.
Baxter is that you ? Bark twice if your in Milwaukee
I will tell tales of your compassion.
The arsonists feet were oddly shaped.
Unique New York. Unique New York.
No I don’t know her name. What is it? Lanalan? La–La–Lanalan? Like sheep’s wool?
incredibly underrated line. well played.
Don’t act like you’re not impressed.
Im storming my castle on your steed me lady
Back in college my friends had two rules.
1. Be Nice
2. Don’t spill your beer.
I play by my own rules, nobody else’s, not even my own.
Seconded.
You two are out of control !!!
http://www.sportspickle.com/fe.....oards.html
tommiesmithjohncarlos: pat, I’m going to beat the living crap out of you. I’ve always hated you, and I’m an e-tuff-guy. You’re going down.
pat: [after being interrupted yet again, pat has had enough] Hey turn down the music for minute… Hey would you turn down the music?
Kid at Stereo: Dude, chill.
pat: Would you turn down the f*cking music for a minute! Jesus!
[pat turns the power off on the stereo and turns to everyone]
pat: This is f*cking bullsh*t! I have been here all goddamned day and you haven’t let me say one thing! None of you!
tommiesmithjohncarlos: Well, damn, pat, I…
pat: Oh, no, assh*le! You shut the fu*k up now. It’s my turn to talk! You’re all f*cked in the head! All of you! I mean you.
[points at Mike Pop]
pat: Change your f*ckin’ tampon and have another drink you crazy, f*ckin’ b*tch!
[Points at Ben K]
pat: And you! “Waaahh, I don’t know what to be when I grow up!” Join the f*cking army or something! Goddamn.
[Points at DonnieBaseballHallofFame]
pat: Oh, and you! You know what? You’re too easy. And you.
[Points to tommiesmithjohncarlos]
pat: F*CK YOU TOMMIESMITHJOHNCARLOS! Always gotta be right, with your little quips! We get it, man. You’re f*ckin’ edgy and cool. Yeah! You’re the coolest f*ckin’ guy at RAB! WHOOO! That’s like being the smartest kid with down syndrome! Oh and, oh, yeah. Why aren’t you in jail? I mean what
[looks at UWS]
pat: are you like 13, 14?
tommiesmithjohncarlos: She’s almost 18.
pat: You know what? F*ck this! You all suck. I quit.
[Goes to leave and gets to the door and turns around]
pat: Oh, and yeah. There is one more thing.
[Points at Mike A]
pat: You… You are the biggest piece of sh*t in this entire website.
[Mike A looks around to see if pat is actually talking to him]
pat: And I hope you burn in hell.
Mike A: Me? What the f*ck did I do to you, man? Seriously?
Joseph P: [pat pulls down his pants and everyone says "Oh sh*t!] The goat! The goat, you bastard!
pat: [pat pulls up his pants and opens the door and walks out] F*ckin’ fruitcakes!!.
tommiesmithjohncarlos: That was the sh*t!
[he runs out after pat]
tommiesmithjohncarlos: pat! pat! Stop please. Look, look. Stop, stop. Okay I am sorry, and I hearby swear my undying allegiance to you. You are the f*cking man.
Classic.
Haha awesome man
This entire exchange was fuckin HILARIOUS! Well played sirs.
Bravo.
I salute you.
CC has got to be the fattest but C. Fielder has got to be up there as well as Babe and Boomer.
Well, it’s hard not to be big in the waistline when you’re 6’7″.
I thought in was interesting that the Babe was only 6’2″, 215. He looks bigger mainly because people were so much smaller back then, I guess. And I was shocked that Lou Gehrig and the Babe had the same chest size.
Are you talking about Ruth and Gehrig’s bra sizes again?
Aren’t I always?
6’7 is a big boy. I have a few people in my family that size or bigger and I am not a small dude by any means but almost feel like one around them.
I hung around with Iverson a few times in Philly and it bugged me out how he was really not that little, but compared to NBA guys hes a midget. I shook Derrick Colemans one time and I felt like I was shaking hands with the jolly green giant.
It is crazy how big Babe Ruth was for back then. I do not buy the 215 number but maybe he was only 6″2.
Even as close back as The Mick. I hear about how big and strong he was, and I laugh because he was just a lil guy, but I guess times were different.
Wish I could go back in time and see Ruth play.
How fat was Steve Balboni? I seem to remember him being a heavy dude but I was pretty young then.
He had to be around 6’2 or so and maybe 235-240. He was a pretty fat dude.
Go Canisius!
Oh, hey, Mike… congratulations on losing your first round playoff game. To me. You played a good game…
FOR ME TO POOP ON!!!!
JSB, you’re next.
I thought you were sitting Donovan McNabb the rest of the year?
You wish I did.
This just in: Andy Reid is a crazy fucker.
Also, the Ravens schedule got harder, and the Eagles schedule got tougher.
Just know that I’m living on a razor’s edge. Donovan has been good to me but it can blow up at any minute. It’s like the Rays and Troy Percival.
The real Razor’s Edge:
http://content.answers.com/mai.....mon-93.jpg
http://static.boxrec.com/wiki/......Razor.jpg
Furcal played the Braves dirty
How?
“A day earlier, Furcal had been close to accepting a $30 million, three-year offer from the Atlanta Braves, his original major league team….
Earlier Wednesday, Kinzer said Furcal had never accepted the Braves’ offer.
“They know we didn’t have a signed contract, that we didn’t have even a verbal agreement. We had, `Things look very good and Raffy’s going to sleep on it,” Kinzer said after a news conference for another client, Francisco Rodriguez.”
http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/.....id=3776705
If reporters are breaking the story that he signed, but neither he nor his agent confirmed it, where’s the dirty pool? Sounds like reporters just jumping the gun…
Check out MLBTR. Apparently his agent told Wren he’ll be signing with them.
It says his agent told Wren “send me the signed offer sheet”.
I understand that that’s usually good money, but it’s not ABSOLUTELY good money.
He used them if he signs with the Dodgers.
http://www.mlbtraderumors.com/.....cal-4.html
5:53 pm: Rosenthal has updated his post with a bit more info and a timeline from Wren. Around midnight on Monday, after much negotiating, Kinzer told Wren, “we’re good.” Tuesday morning, says Rosenthal (note the slight discrepancy from Brown’s report below), Wren “got a voicemail from Kinzer” asking for the term sheet to be put together and faxed to him, which Wren did. “Shortly thereafter, Kinzer began ‘backpedaling,’ saying he promised the Dodgers he would talk to them.” And on Tuesday, the Dodgers “suddenly” appeared willing to grant Furcal a third year — and today, the Braves were told that Furcal would not be joining them.
5:43pm: Tim Brown reports that the Braves had sent Furcal a signed term sheet, according to “a club source.” Monday night, Kinzer asked for the paperwork to be faxed to him. Braves GM Frank Wren complied Tuesday morning. Writes Brown:
No member of the Braves’ front office – not Wren, not longtime former GM John Schuerholz – could recall a time when a signed term sheet was not the equivalent of a handshake agreement, ethically – if not legally – binding.
Brown adds that the Braves believe Kinzer shopped the term sheet to the Dodgers, who had been reluctant to commit to a third year.
4:47pm: The latest from Rosenthal:
The Dodgers and Furcal were still hammering out an agreement Wednesday afternoon, sources said, but the Braves had been informed that Furcal would not accept their deal.
4:10pm: Ken Rosenthal says Furcal decided to sign with the Dodgers.
Mark Bowman’s latest doesn’t suggest Furcal made a decision, but he does explain why the Braves thought they had a deal. Bowman’s source believes the Dodgers offered three years plus a fourth-year player option.
11:48am: Yahoo’s Tim Brown: Furcal is “nearing an agreement with the Dodgers.” Joel Sherman learned from Kinzer that the Dodgers are in the lead, having matched the Braves’ three-year, $30MM (plus a fourth-year vesting option) offer. Paul Kinzer told Sherman the idea of switching to second base for the Braves gave Furcal pause.
Kinzer told Danny Knobler there was never a verbal agreement with the Braves. Kinzer lives in Atlanta and received 50 phone calls from fans after the story broke yesterday.
9:39am: Yesterday we watched as Rafael Furcal and his agents seemingly ignored a gentleman’s agreement with the Braves to continue negotiating with the Dodgers. Dylan Hernandez of the L.A. Times learned from Ned Colletti that the Dodgers improved their offer to Furcal (the original was two years with a vesting option).
He had it played out nicely… He was probably thinking that he could say it was because he didnt want to play 2b for ATL when/if LA upped their offer…He played them
A) The Braves wanted him to move positions
B) The Dodgers offered more money
… the Braves had their shot. It wasn’t good enough.
Sweet Lincoln’s mullet, you win already
BY THE BEARD OF ZEUS!!!!
Great Odins Raven !!!!
Uncle Jonathan’s corn-cob pipe!
Knights of Columbus that hurt!
By the Fishing Skills of Paul Ferguson !
By the whiskers of Brigham Young!
Sweet Eli Whitney’s nose
Oh sure, pick on SU.
God, that was a dagger in the ass.
And I loved every second of it.
Go Huskies.
Odds Melancon breaks ST with the Yanks?
Over/Under Phil Hughes being a bust stories?
Over/Under Joba going back to the pen stories?
Odds CC drops dead during conditioning drills?
Odds Burnett needs TJ surgery after his first bullpen session?
Odds Jeter bangs Maddona behind ARods back?
Not high.
More than enough.
All written by GAKIII.
0.
0.
0.
But a valiant effort nonetheless.
the last one is a great possibility
In order:
1)20%
2) 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000%
3) 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000%
4) 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000%
5) 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000%
6) priceless
Boy George?
I was going to ask.
no not Boy George im not a flammer…..Billy
Oh, just admit it. You’re a flamer. Or “flammer” as you put it.
Its OK, we accept you and your alternative lifestyle.
Ask your mother if I was a flamer last night.
Seriously?
Weak, weak sauce.
Well, you DID take her to Fire Island…
See, that was clever.
Dont you have to post on why the Yanks need to trade for Peavy you havent dont it in a while.
Apparently, I hit a nerve.
You sound like some schoolboy bitch
You just made a fool of yourself in front Boy George.
In front OF Boy George. Gah.
Maybe he meant “flanner.” Flan is awesome.
I think he meant ‘flammer’ just the way he spelled it.
He’s no flim-flammer, he’s an honest politician.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
That episode was on tonight.
You think Texieria is waiting for us to make an offer before he signs ? (unless we already have but it has been well hidden)
Here’s a completely bizarre and unreasonable thought… what if the reason that the Yankees and Pettitte haven’t come to an agreement yet is because the Yankees want to drive the price up on Lowe and Sheets for whoever winds up with them?
Think there’s a chance that’s actually going on?
I dont think that is the case. We have a 10 mill offer and we want him to accept it..
Now the Cameron deal is on hold because of a potential run at Manny IMO.
I’m with Pop on both thoughts. Pettitte is off somewhere on an extended LSD trip and hallucinating imaginary 3 year contracts.
Cameron is on hold because we want to see what happens with Manny (and because Cashman read RAB’s post from a couple days ago).
Pettitte is off somewhere on an extended LSD trip and hallucinating imaginary 3 year contracts.
Apparently a few days ago he was seen firing a bow and an arrow into a crowd. Hendricks tried to play it off as a prank
I have no idea where he would have gotten ahold of German pornography. But you and I are mature adults. We’ve both seen our share of pornographic materials.
Oh, you never have? Of course you haven’t, how stupid of me. Neither have I. I was just speaking in generalities. I’ll stop by the school a little later, Sister Margaret. Bye.
Look, just put the gun down and let the marching band go. We’ll play it off as a prank.
Screwing…..???….
Question for all you Partial Ticket Plan holders out there:
Have you guys heard from the Yanks yet? I have the Sunday Plan, or the “C” Package, and I’ve yet to get any info from them. If so, when did you hear from them? If not, do you have any idea when they’re planning on letting us know what the deal is for seating, etc. this year?
Greatly appreciated.
You stay classy, Planet Earth.
I have a C plan, and I haven’t heard boo. I called them after the season ended, told them I was interested in upgrading my seat/plan and they said they would be in touch with me. Needless to say, they haven’t been.
I’m actually glad they didn’t. I’m looking at downgrading my plan now since I’ve been slammed with some bills lately and from what I understand, the after-market (StubHub) is expected to be very weak this year. With that being the case, a full season makes no sense for me at all.
I have Plan “G.” I called them maybe a month ago and they said they’d only begun sending relo packages and I shouldn’t expect anything till after New Year. Das it.
Plan G = Plan “Girl”
BTW-I think the C is the 20 game Pick-a-plan, that’s what I have. The Sunday plan is the D if I remember correctly.
81 Full season
60 Plan A Weekday+Sunday plan
46 Plan B Weekday plan
20 Pick-em Plan C
15 Plan D Sundays+Opening Day+Old Timers
The Sunday plan is the best deal of them all.
Yea, they changed some shit up this year I know. I’m looking to upgrade to the half season package, and if not, then the 20 gamer, and then back to my Sunday plan. The Sunday plan this year does NOT include opening day, obviously. UWS – thanks for your response too.
Nothing yet! Anyone else? 27/09.
Cmon Hawks win this game
I’ve been waiting to post about this all day – I got bitch slapped the last I tried it.
Rob Neyer of ESPN.com wrote another interesting article about the Yankees today:
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn.....=Neyer_Rob
Its about how old our lineup is. Overall he continues to give us props though. What does RAB think?
I posted the exact smae thing the other day when TSJC was talking about getting Manny.
Fucking Neyer is ripping me off. Dickhead.
Lineup = old
Rotation = not old
He says at the end “The Yankees will never be a young team. They just don’t have the patience for it. But they might never again be quite as old as they will be in 2009. Enjoy the old geezers while you can.” Get ready for a LONG run.
CC visits the new Yankee Stadium:
http://www.nj.com/yankees/inde.....e_sta.html
…is it me or does CC look skinny in those pics?
Wow, he is looking rather svelte.
can’t wait for CC to wear those stripes tomorrow.
1:00 ?
Yep. on Yes.
Is it on YES? I’m totally live blogging that shit.
Dont get a hard-on
Too late.
Well this is awkward. It’s the pleats in the pants.
AND I JIZZED IN MY PANTS
AJ will be introduced as well. That should take care of the hard-on.
Looks good in that cap
He has such a fat face and neck, that I think it exaggerates his overall fatness. He’s not a complete tub o lard, like Colon.
..or Ponson!
Oh there it is. Ponson is the answer. He is the fattest ever. CLOSE THREAD.
Its going to be hilarious and awesome when you see the first picture that has both CC and Robbie wearing big ass grins on their faces.
NO that would not be funny. It would be embarrasing that they are not taking the game serious enough
“Its going to be hilarious and awesome when you see the first picture that has both CC and Robbie wearing big ass grins on their faces.”
That photo will be 407% teeth.
Its the LRG man, it makes you look like u got pinstripes on.
Either that or Cashman is back to getting his players on that vigorous calisthenics routine that almost crippled the team a coupla years back.
[...] He’s looking rather svelte, no? (h/t Brooklyn Ed) [...]
I wonder how big the jersey actually is
You got a bed sheet laying around?
XXXXX LArge
I would bet 4XLong is the jersey size. He is the EXACT size of the average Phillies fan, if he were a foot shorter and weighed the same.
Man sized.
So is his cup.
Hawks baby!
Of course, as soon as I type that KG ties it up, AND.
The C’s are closers.
Boston Celtics = Ricky Roma
First time I saw Ponson from behind at Camden Yards I thought the back of his neck was a pack of Eskay franks the hot dog man was about to cook up.
If Sidney Ponson were a hot dog, would he eat himself?
Does a wild bear shit in the woods?
Does the Pope wear a hat?
Does Manny MASH ?
ZOMG MANNY MASHES THE FUCKBALLS OUT IT, BRO!!!!
OK, two questions:
1. Why were you looking at Sidney Ponson from behind?
2. Did you know that Eskay franks are the official hot dogs of the Baltimore Orioles? I lived in B’more for 9 years, and I swear a commercial for Eskay came on every 5 minutes during O’s games on the radio.
http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/.....id=3776701
Bottom of the article:
Notes: C Jorge Posada threw from 60 feet Wednesday at the Yankees’ complex in Tampa, Fla., his first throws from that distance since shoulder surgery on July 30. He had three sessions of 25 throws each.
OK, I have to admit, I don’t understand half of what you guys are posting tonight, but – holy crap, it’s funny!
Go get yourself a Blu-Ray player, a copy of Anchorman, and three fingers of Glenlivet (with some pepper and a little cheese) and come back in a few hours.
You’ll be good.
Cool! A homework assignment!
Don’t forget the hookers and blow
I believe I saw some “Waiting” in there somewhere, add that to your list
WHAAAAT?????
http://nomaas.org/canotigers.html