Commissioner for a day


Over at It is about the money, stupid, Jason has posed an interesting question to his readers: What would you do if you were commissioner of baseball for a day? He published the first part of the responses today, and they focus around the questions of territoriality and the out-dated idea of territory rights in baseball. Check it out, and feel free leave your answer in the comments here. It’s certainly an interesting question.

Categories : Asides


  1. MattG says:

    Fix the damn strike zone. Over the dish, letters to the knees. Call it right or I’ll replace your ass with Questec.

    Maybe I’d just go straight to Questec.

  2. CJR says:

    Rose in the hall!

  3. Mike Pop says:

    Suspend the Boston organization for something that is untrue, give the Yankees 5 more championships by default.

  4. steve (different one) says:

    i would institute a rule that says any player with the surname “Sizemore” is automatically entered into a draft where the selection order is determined reverse-alphabetically based on team name.

  5. The Evil Empire says:

    I always imagined that the future would bring a mixture of technology, a game where umpires won’t be needed.
    Having Baseballs with computer chips (micro of course) that can tell you to the micro seconds who got to the bag first the player or the ball, then the base can turn blue or red whether the baserunner got there first.

    Also, a laser-guided strike zone will be nice, adjusting to every hitter (knees to chest)

    Just some of my thoughts, this however, might take some of the fun and purity out of baseball, but it will be competition at its best, no lucky calls, no b/s, just raw speed strength and talent decides a baseball game.

  6. dan says:

    I’d put Bert Blyleven in the hall of fame. I’d then ban all writers from the BBWAA who didn’t vote for Henderson, who argue Jack Morris OVER Blyleven, and who hate on stats like VORP but instead use RBI.

    Then, I’d appoint Mo as permanent commissioner, and all would be good in the world.

  7. Mike Pop says:

    I would take the Orioles out of the AL East. They are going to be scary in a couple of years. Adam Jones, he was listed at 210 and now he said he is up to 235. I think he is going to have a great great year. Imagine if they become real competitive along with the Rays and Boston. This division would be so ridiculously brutal.

  8. Reggie C. says:

    I’d install Hank Steinbrenner as my immediate successor just so he could leave Hal and Cash alone.

  9. tyler says:

    definitely have to change the postseason format in a number of ways. First of all the way teams are ranked is awful. A wild card team with a better record than a divisional winner should be ranked higher. Ranking them lower b/c they did not win their division makes little sense when that team wins more games in a tougher division than a divisional winner playing in a weaker division. and a 5 game opening series is an absolutel joke. when a majority of gms call it a “crapshoot” you know its bogus. how is a crapshoot an indication of a teams talent? the nba and nhl playoffs last for months and all series are 7 games. baseball has less series and still a 5 game series, and mlb would obviously stand to make more tv money for the playoff games by adding more of them.

  10. yanks99 says:

    at least one team named the yankees in the world series every year

  11. Elston32 says:

    I’d take Jim Rice out of the HOF and replace him with Fred McGriff or even Dick Allen.

    • Matt says:

      <3 the Crime Dog

      • Elston32 says:

        I spoke to McGriff at a Tampa recording studio @ 4 years ago (the nicest person you could ever meet) – as opposed to Rice (who I notice is talking with the press a lot more since receiving the HOF news but graduated just ahead of Barry Bonds and Eddie Murray in charm school).

  12. Joey says:

    Mandatory buzz cuts and uniforms that fit to piss Manny off.

  13. steve (different one) says:

    i would commission the Trost report. same thing as the Mitchell report except written by a member of the Yankees’ front office.

    wait, that sounds crazy, right?

    • Mike Pop says:

      If I’m not mistaken, that has happened already just with the Red Sox org right? No, no, wait I just might be crazy. That shouldn’t ever happen or it would never happen, right?

      • D.B.H.O.F. p.k.a The Last Don says:

        Yeah I still do not get how it went down like that. I have no problem with any PED guy getting outed. I do have a problem when the guy doing it works for, plays on, played on, or owns a part of a team.

        Like why not just let Jim Rice do the next one?

  14. jsbrendog says:

    immediately have jeffry loria removed as owner of the marlins and publicly execute by the people of montreal for the way he handled thaT whole fiasco.

    2. (number one didnt need a number because it is number fuckin 1, or haven’t you heard?) immediately institute a rule that no less than 60% of revenue sharing and luxury tax money MUST BE REINVESTED INTO THE TEAM THAT RECEIVES IT, whether it be through player signings, fan appreciateion/giveaway nights, or in the rare case the team owns the satdium, stadium upgrades.

    3. pardon pete rose because, yeah he gambled, so fuckin what, but HE NEVER GAMBLED ON HIS TEAM TO LOSE!!!!!! (consider pardoning shoeless joe and the other 7 men of the black sox scandal, then decide otherwise because no oe knows who they are already anyway)

    4. remove divisions. continue scheduling teams in the same “geographic locations who used to be in the same division” the same type of weighted schedule but make it fair once and for all to get into the playoffs. The al has its 14 teams and the nl has its 16 (is that right) and the teams with the 4 best records from each league goes to the playoffs. 1 plays four, 2 plays 3.

    5. All Star Game: starters at each position voted by players and coaches. fans continue to vote as they do now but the players with highest votes are added to the team and do not start unless chosen by the previously mentioned players anc coaches. Also expand rosters by 5 to make sure extra inning games do not screw any one team over (ie kazmirs the only pitcher left so he has to pitch 7 innings on 3 days rest in a meaningless game) TAKE AWAY THIS STUPID ALLL STAR GAME DETERMINES HOME FIELD. it is a meaningless game, allow it to be.

    5a. insitute a hockey like skills competition to accompany hr derby. a fielding competition to see who can get to the msot balls at their position, who can round the bases the fastest, who throws the fastest. this iwll increase fan interest and as for injuries, no one is required to participate and teams have the right to prevent players form doing so if they are wrried. (wang isobv not allowed to run the bases)

    6. institute mandatory team community service within the community wherein it resides, not to be less than 2 per yr. this will help the teams build roots within the communities they play and help increase fan interest and help take the heat off of some of those these assholes make too much money sentiments. these msut be team events and an arbitrary number of players who must be rpesent will be determind by me whilst having one too many johnny walker blues because as commissioner i will be rich.

    7. get drunk and moon eveyrone who thinks im a terrible commissioner. post bail, apologize, and laugh about it with friends how im not sorry and meant it all.

    • Mike Pop says:

      get drunk and moon eveyrone who thinks im a terrible commissioner. post bail, apologize, and laugh about it with friends how im not sorry and meant it all

      The only thing different with that then your regular life is that your not commisioner.

  15. pat says:

    My first inclination was to write something stupid and funny (to me at least) but I’ll take the high road on this one. I’d like to see something done regarding therecent spate of broken bats leaguewide. To me this should be one of the most pressing issues on the plate of the commissioners office. Every time a bat shard flys into the stands the announcers invariably comment on just how dangerous it is and how lucky people are to not be injured or even killed. It just seems to me that mlb is actually waiting for someone to be hurt or maimed before they make serious steps to rectify the problem. I’ve heard that alot of the problem stems from the fact that these maple bats are now coming from 2nd and 3rd generation trees which arent as hard as the old ass trees. Maybe they could mandate a minimum diameter for all handles to try and cut down on the breaks. I’ve seen online theres a company that somehow manufactures bats from pieces of wood that render the finished product unbreakable*. I would just like to see some sort of precautionary measure taken rather than a reactionary one.
    * Unbreakable until it meets the CUTTER OF GOD of course

  16. D.B.H.O.F. p.k.a The Last Don says:

    Get rid of all the dumb blackout rules and make all baseball games available in a pay per view package or game by game.

    Make all PED users wear pink shoes and have to use light purple bats.

    No jewelry on the field rule, including necklaces, earrings etc.

    All tats must be covered or removed.

    Make a $300 million dollar fine for all frosted hair.

  17. Scott of 3 Kids Tickets says:

    Get rid of the All Star game deciding home team for the world series…

    Make all playoff series 7 games…

    Have a floor for how much/little teams can spend. If they can’t afford ______ (fill in a number) you must sell the team.

    Add/move a team to las vegas. Agree to the sports betting thing colleges do.

    Fire Ken “Hawk” Harrelson from anouncing and appoit him a job in baseballs front office.

    Get Jim Kaat into the Hall. His speech would be worth his shortcomings. Get rid of the deadwood writers who get to vote without knowing jack…

    Make the players run clinics in their teams town/city or their hometown. 10 hours a year won’t kill ya.

    Make the players sign autographs again & encourage general friendliness.

    Let a random fan throw out the first pitch every game.

    Say Bababooey at least once every speech you give.

    If I think of more, I’ll add them on….

    • D.B.H.O.F. p.k.a The Last Don says:

      “Make all playoff series 7 games…”

      That is a good one.

      I agree on Kaat, he would go in my “All Around Good Baseball Guy” wing in the hall. Good to very good pitcher, great broadcaster. Not really the biggest fan of his blog on YES (anybody read that?)

      “Make the players run clinics in their teams town/city or their hometown. 10 hours a year won’t kill ya.

      Make the players sign autographs again & encourage general friendliness.”

      Both great ideas.

  18. Mister Delaware says:

    Expand 2 teams, reorganize to 4 divisions of 8 teams each where the two division winners plus 2 wild cards in each league make the playoffs. Its more equitable than the current structure with the AL West -1 team, the NL Central +1 team and the NL as a whole +2 teams. (And, from a selfish standpoint, its going to get really annoying watching some awful AL West team make it over a very good AL East team).

    • D.B.H.O.F. p.k.a The Last Don says:

      “Expand 2 teams”

      I hope my day of being the commish is the day after yours so I can repeal your addition to watering down the game I love, even further.

      Most teams can not put together a decent 2 or 3 starting pitchers now, what would happen when you add 10 more starters jobs to the game?

      • Mister Delaware says:

        No, I’m the day after you. And contraction is super expensive so expansion is really the only way to get to balanced divisions that don’t reward location over results. Put a team in Charlotte and one in Portland and everything is pretty. (Besides, an expansion draft in the internet era would rock)

        • D.B.H.O.F. p.k.a The Last Don says:

          So you end up with two teams that nobody wants to see and in markets that can not support a major league team. The Rays last year still had trouble getting people to the park and they got to the World Series.

          The answer is not more teams. Less would be better but I do not see that happening yet, although at a certain number I would be willing to be a couple of owners would be willing to listen.

          The costs are not real. The money that the other teams have to pump into the bottom 5 or 6 teams over a few years would pay for getting rid of two teams. The national TV deals, the merch money etc would all still be there if they got rid of the Pirates or the Marlins or the Nationals. If you do that over time the money they get out of the pie would pay for itself.

  19. Barry says:

    I’d rearrange the divisions. NY, BOS, TOR, CLE. Then I’d have BAL, TB, TEX, KC, DET. Then OAK, MIN, SEA, LA, CHI. Idk, haven’t worked it out perfectly but I think the divisions need to be rearranged a little bit to spread the competition just a little bit better.

    • steve (different one) says:

      are you constantly re-arranging them every year? b/c you’d have a much different decision on TB if you did this 2 years ago.

      • Barry says:

        No but I don’t expect Baltimore or Toronto, who sometimes put good teams on the field, to ever compete with NY or Boston, and now with TB emerging as a team that actually knows how to handle personnel. I just think that if maybe it was even arranged as a North, Central, South, things could be more interesting. It was just an idea to float out there.

    • D.B.H.O.F. p.k.a The Last Don says:

      Yeah this might be the worst idea yet. If because of “competition” you are doing this you would have to move the Sox and Yanks to different divisions. Also in essence you are just putting a good team in a different division so they can kick the crap out of the bad teams?

      • Barry says:

        No, I’ve thought that the divisions have been unbalanced for years. I just think we would see more diversity in the playoffs if some teams weren’t perenial underdogs. When do you project the Orioles making the playoffs next? Toronto? Meanwhile I read your previous posts and you don’t even have a semblance of an idea. You’re the jackass that sits back and does nothing with your life aren’t you. I could of guessed that anyway because you call yourself a don. You can go suck a big dong buddy ;-)

        • D.B.H.O.F. p.k.a The Last Don says:

          The last line must indicate hobby of yours as that is not something I am familiar with.

          I really do not care when the O’s or Toronto next make the playoffs, but if their ownerships reinvested in their team and their business maybe they would. Maybe if either team had decent management involved they would do well. Both teams have had nice runs in the last 20 years or less, but they were better run businesses then.

          “Meanwhile I read your previous posts and you don’t even have a semblance of an idea.”

          You are correct I have not a semblance of an idea of what you were talking about with that great idea of realignment.

          “You’re the jackass that sits back and does nothing with your life aren’t you.”

          No I am the jackass that just wasted 30 seconds typing to a guy who might huff paint and would realign baseballs divisions based on how good the teams are right now yet not even move around the top two teams.

  20. Steve O. says:

    I’d bring a MLB team to Charlotte, NC, called the Charlotte Bobcats.. We wait a minute..

    I’d bring in a new compensation system http://riveraveblues.com/2009/.....stem-7046/. and take all the credit for it.

  21. steve (different one) says:

    serious idea:


    19 games against the teams in your division is boring.

    going to certain cities once all year for 3 games seems silly.

    this would mean more 10 PM starts for more West Coast games, but i think it’s a trade-off i could live with.

  22. steve (different one) says:

    also, i would get rid of interleague play.

    maybe 1 series a year for the “rivalries”.

    but the novelty has completely worn off.

    there is nothing interesting about the Yankees playing the Pirates.

    all it does is create inequities in the wildcard races.

    • D.B.H.O.F. p.k.a The Last Don says:

      I agree in a way but it was a way to redistribute money to the Pirates. I as a Yankee fan had never been to PNC park but went last year, spent money, and am thinking of going again someday to see some games in that beautiful ballpark. None of that would have happened without inter league play.

      I also love those riveting match ups that the Rockies and whoever their inter league “rival” is.

  23. Marsha says:

    I have one word as commissioner–contraction.

  24. D.B.H.O.F. p.k.a The Last Don says:

    I am just glad the belly fat ads on this site are now gone. Whoever was the commish that made that happen my hat is off to you. I salute you.

  25. There are some good legit ideas here, particularly the belly fat ads.

    If anyone wants to write one up, email me and I’ll post it.

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