‘Protection from what? Zee Germans?’

Braves lock up Lowe for four years
Cameron/Swish rumor debunked, Yanks talk with Braves

Talking Points Memo broke what might possibly be my favorite story of well-spent tax-payer money. Forget the tax-free bonds for the new Stadium. Instead, enjoy this tale of U.S. Marshal escorts for Joe Buck, Tim McCarver and Troy Aikman at various points in the baseball and football seasons. The DoJ report (PDF) outs Joseph Band as the sub-par statistician-cum-lawyer who set up this gig, and while the report makes for some great legal ethics reading, there’s no word on how much this actually cost us. I hope the FOX announcing team can manage without their escort in the future. (Worthless RAB points to the first person who can ID the movie quote in the post title.)

email
Braves lock up Lowe for four years
Cameron/Swish rumor debunked, Yanks talk with Braves
  • Miguel in PR

    Nice title, quoting Snatch’s Turkish (Jason Statham)! :D

  • Andy In Sunny Daytona

    Turkish was speaking to Tommy about his gun. Tommy needed the gun for protection against Bricktop and his men.

  • http://www.pinstripespa.blogspot.com Dan

    nice lock/stock reference

  • http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/group.php?gid=43434432275 Ace

    Would you guys consider trading Wang for Prince Fielder to be our full-time DH for the next 6 years?

    • UWS

      1. Ben will have your ass for posting off-topic.
      2. No.

      • http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/group.php?gid=43434432275 Ace

        1. Are you Ben’s lawyer? Let him speak for himself.

        2. OK

        • Brooklyn Ed

          1. Ben is a lawyer to be.

          2. Jeter will be the DH in 2010.

          3. HELL NO TO THAT TRADE.

          • Bruno

            2. Jeter Posada will be the DH in 2010

            Fixed

            • http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/CRsmithT1.jpg tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

              Thank you.

        • The Honorable Congressman Mondesi

          “1. Are you Ben’s lawyer? Let him speak for himself.”

          Unfortunately for you, he has spoken for himself on this topic: http://riveraveblues.com/river.....uidelines/

      • The Honorable Congressman Mondesi

        “Ben will have your ass for posting off-topic.”

        Get your mind out of the gutter.

        • UWS

          No.

    • http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/CRsmithT1.jpg tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

      [ facepalm ]

    • http://actyankee.blogspot.com Matt

      No.

    • http://www.riveraveblues.com Mike A.

      That makes no sense for the Yanks. They’ll need the DH spot for guys like Posada, Jeter, A-Rod, et al down the line.

      And why would you trade a quality SP like that for a freaking DH, nevermind one that had a 100+ pt drop in SLG last year?

      • http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/group.php?gid=43434432275 Ace

        Just wanted to get some chatter started.

        When Wang reaches free agency, what kind of contract do you think he will command?

        • http://www.riveraveblues.com Mike A.

          Assuming he’s the same guy for the next few years, probably $15M per, around there. Maybe four or five years. Depends on what the market looks like then.

    • http://www.puristbleedspinstripes.com Rebecca-Optimist Prime

      No.

    • http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/CRsmithT1.jpg tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

      Would you guys consider trading Wang for Prince Fielder to be our full-time DH for the next 6 years?

      http://riveraveblues.com/2009/.....ent-255206

      • UWS

        Do you have every single comment in every single thread indexed for easy referencing?

        • http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/CRsmithT1.jpg tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

          There’s this awesome little box in the top right hand corner of RAB called “Search RAB”.

          • http://actyankee.blogspot.com Matt

            See, you did that wrong. If you wanted to be a real douche, you would’ve just said “search function.”

            • http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/CRsmithT1.jpg tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

              I’m never a douche to UWS. Just to the rest of you losers who don’t have juggs.

              • UWS

                Just wait until the RAB meet-up happens and it turns out that UWS’s juggs are due to UWS being a 400-lb piece of man-meat.

                • http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/CRsmithT1.jpg tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

                  HAHAHAHAHA.

                  Seriously, though, this is what I picture you looking like:

                  http://www.i-sportsbook.com/ba.....e-Girl.jpg

                  Opening day is 2 months and change away. I expect nothing less from you when we have the meetup. DOn’t let me down.

                • http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/CRsmithT1.jpg tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

                  Oh, and, here’s what Rebecca Optimist-Prime looks like in my head:

                  http://i177.photobucket.com/al.....esGirl.jpg

                • UWS

                  Shit. Time to hit the treadmill.

      • http://www.riveraveblues.com Mike A.

        It wouldn’t be six years anyway, it would be his three remaining arbitration years, when he gets expensive. And he’s a Boras client, so forget an extension. Boras was already laying the groundwork for a Prince megadeal at the Winter Meetings, saying the next time there will be a FA 1B as good as Tex on the market will be … Prince in 2011.

  • http://actyankee.blogspot.com Matt

    Tommy always says he’s named after a gun. I’m the only one who knows he’s named after a famous 19th century ballet dancer.

  • http://www.new.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/profile.php?id=594331910&ref=name Jamal G.

    I have no idea why, but “South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut” was the first thing that came to my mind when I read the title.

  • JeffG

    Snatch

    • JeffG

      Jesus am I tired I skimmed for the title and obviously skipped over the twelve people that already had it. Looks like I get the RAB retard points.

  • http://actyankee.blogspot.com Matt

    I thought this country spawned a language. So far, no one seems to speak it.

  • Should be working

    Love that movie.

  • TurnTwo

    WasWatching pooped all over RAB on the site today.

    Blog War!

    • http://www.puristbleedspinstripes.com Rebecca-Optimist Prime

      Buh?

      But…I mean…don’t grown ups have, like, grown up things to do?

      • TurnTwo

        slow day.

    • UWS

      Eff him. That guy has some serious issues.

    • The Honorable Congressman Mondesi

      “Jejune” is my new favorite word. Being called “jejune” by Steve Lombardi has got to be pretty awesome. I’m a little jealous of Ben/Mike/Joe right now.

      • UWS

        I had to go look it up. Lombardi uses SAT words, good for him! Clearly that makes his commentary much more germane.

        • http://www.riveraveblues.com Mike A.

          We you are a vestigio. See I can make up words too.

          /Peter Griffin

          • http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/CRsmithT1.jpg tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

            - “You know, I never heard that word ‘embiggens’ before I moved to this town.
            – “I don’t know why, it’s a perfectly cromulent word…”

          • http://www.riveraveblues.com Mike A.

            That wasn’t directed at you UWS, I replied to the wrong comment. I’m not going to use my super secret RAB powers to move the comment to the spot I wanted though, I’m too lazy. Even though it probably would have taken less time to do that than type up this comment explaining my original intention.

            Me: http://tinyurl.com/4eaaek

  • http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/CRsmithT1.jpg tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

    In Buck, McCarver, and Aikman’s defense, there’s probably millions of television viewers across the planet that would love to bitchslap those three for their general douchebaggery. I’d say U.S. Marshal protection is well warranted.

    Besides, now that Wesley Snipes’s career is over, it’s not like Tommy Lee Jones is busy doing anything else more important…

    • http://actyankee.blogspot.com Matt

      Hey….he did “Man of the House.”

      But seriously, I still haven’t seen “No Country…” or “The Three Burials…” both of which are apparently brilliant.

      • http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/CRsmithT1.jpg tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

        No Country was good. Haven’t seen Three Burials either. I DVR’d In The Valley of Elah the other night, haven’t watched it yet.

      • http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/group.php?gid=43434432275 Ace

        No Country and Three Burials were both excellent as well as In The Valley of Elah – which a lot of people haven;t seen. You could say that Jones has been doing better work the last 3 years than he ever has.

      • http://www.puristbleedspinstripes.com Rebecca-Optimist Prime

        Heard only good things about No country, though I haven’t seen it.

    • http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/group.php?gid=43434432275 Ace

      I agree that several people probably want to bitchslap them but can’t they afford their own protection?

      • http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/CRsmithT1.jpg tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside
        • http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/group.php?gid=43434432275 Ace

          Wow. You are hilarious. I see what you did there. You linked to a sarcasm definition. I can barely type this as I hold my sides laughing. It was funny because you were being saracastic and then explaining what saracastic meant. oh man. That is too good. Any more brilliance for us? You are hysterical. Nice job. Lol. Defintion for sarcasm, that is rich.

          • The Honorable Congressman Mondesi

            Haha you suck.

          • http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/CRsmithT1.jpg tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside
            • UWS

              CATFIGHT!!!

              • Nady Nation

                Reeeer (attempt at cat noise)

            • The Honorable Congressman Mondesi

              How jejune!

            • Mike Pop

              “Thats the lamest thing Ive ever seen posted on here”

              THCM

              • The Honorable Congressman Mondesi

                Lol It IS lame. You should get TSJC to give you his famous tutorial on using the “awesome little box in the top right hand corner of RAB called ‘Search RAB.'” I find your comment to be quite jejune. (Can’t stop, sorry.)

                • http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/CRsmithT1.jpg tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

                  I have a word to stop all of you:

                  Tubelcaine.

    • http://actyankee.blogspot.com Matt

      Wonder if Willie Mays Hays is pulling down money from those Total Gym ads.

  • Brooklyn Ed

    Jerry Crasnick and Ken Rosenthal are both reporting today that the Braves have interest in Yankees outfielders Nick Swisher and Xavier Nady. It’s not the first time we’ve heard the Braves connected to the two. The general feeling is that the Yankees are more willing to trade Nady, and the Braves may have to compete with the Mets for him.

    http://www.mlbtraderumors.com/.....erest.html

    ——————-

    is there anyone in the braves we want? Tommy Hanson and Jurrjens is obviously out of the question.

    • Bruno

      is there anyone in the braves we want?

      Not as much as we need Nady & Swisher. Hopefully, Cashman agrees.

  • Tom Zig

    If Beckett ever makes it to free agency….what do we do?

    • http://www.riveraveblues.com Mike A.

      Watch as the Sox badmouth him if he signs with another team?

      • The Honorable Congressman Mondesi

        Trying…to…resist…urge….

        Jejune.

        Ok I think it might be out of my system now.

      • Bruno

        LOL!

        Theo & Co: “He only showed up ready play about once every five days! Josh Beckett = bigger locker room cancer than Manny.

    • Bruno

      Watch someone else overpay for teh greatest postseason pitcher ever givin birth to on the planet Earth!!1!1!

    • http://www.puristbleedspinstripes.com Rebecca-Optimist Prime

      Probably stay away. If the Red Sox let him go to the Yankees, there’s probably a good reason.

      • Bruno

        Wade Boggs and Johnny Damon disagree. Roger Clemens might have something to say also.

        • Brooklyn Ed

          well Damon was stolen from them. As for Boggs and Clemens, they thought they were “too old” for them after spending 10 seasons in Boston.

          • Bruno

            Boggs and Clemens went on to prove that Boston was wrong, that’s all I’m saying. However, only Damon was Theo’s departure so they’re really a moot point.

        • http://www.puristbleedspinstripes.com Rebecca-Optimist Prime

          Boggs is before my time, but has Damon had a better career in NY than he did in Boston?

          • Bruno

            He hasn’t had a bad one, and has been worth the contract in my opinion.

            • http://www.puristbleedspinstripes.com Rebecca-Optimist Prime

              Fair enough. I like Damon well enough, but he can’t really play center any more.

              • Bruno

                Still a top-notch leadoff guy.

                • http://actyankee.blogspot.com Matt

                  I wouldn’t say “top notch” but he’s solid.

                • Bruno

                  You wouldn’t?

                  Rollins, Reyes, Ichiro, Damon, Figgins(?)

              • A.D.

                technically his past 2 years with the Sox he was a below avg. CF, so i theory the Yanks should have known that.

              • http://actyankee.blogspot.com Matt

                He really couldn’t play it all that well in Boston, either. Every year he was there, his UZR/150 went down.

                8.5 in ’02
                0.9 in ’03
                -4.7 in ’04
                -8.3 in ’05

          • http://actyankee.blogspot.com Matt

            I’d say it’s been dead even. The OPS+ totals match up pretty closely; so do the wOBA tallies. He’s actually been incredibly consistent through his whole career–no big spikes or valleys.

      • The Honorable Congressman Mondesi

        I’d prefer if the Yankees’ FO makes their decisions based on their own evaluations on not by trying to guess what ther teams are thinking.

        • The Honorable Congressman Mondesi

          I’d prefer if the Yankees’ FO makes their decisions based on their own evaluations on and not by trying to guess what other teams are thinking.

          (fixed)

        • http://www.puristbleedspinstripes.com Rebecca-Optimist Prime

          Same here. I’m not disagreeing with you.

    • http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/group.php?gid=43434432275 Ace

      Probably let him sign elsewhere. If the Sox don’t want to resign him I would assume there would be something wrong with him physically or he would be asking for too much.

    • Brooklyn Ed

      how much more longer till he hits free agency?

      • A.D.

        Right now, after 2010 season, Sox have a team option for 2010… and at 12M, they’ll pick it up

        • Brooklyn Ed

          oh thanks dude.

  • Rob in CT

    “The general feeling is that the Yankees are more willing to trade Nady, and the Braves may have to compete with the Mets for him.”

    So..

    1. Trade Xavier Nady for Roberto Hernandez and Oliver Perez (’06).
    2. Watch Nady have career year, land with Yankees (’08)
    3. Re-acquire Nady when his value is probably inflated.
    4. Profit?

    • http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/CRsmithT1.jpg tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

      Problem is, I can’t think of good prospect from the Mets I’d want in return for Nady.

      Man, the Mets are so royally fucked…

      • Brooklyn Ed

        Daniel Murphy? Nick Evans? Argensis Reyes?

        • http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/CRsmithT1.jpg tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

          I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

          • http://actyankee.blogspot.com Matt

            Nobody makes me bleed my own blood. NOBODY!

      • http://actyankee.blogspot.com Matt

        They’re gonna have to suck it up and do one or more of the following:

        1. Pay up for Ollie
        2. Take a risk on Sheets
        3. Swallow their pride and sign Manny
        4. Sign Abreu

        So what’s their rotation as of right now?

        Johan/Pelfrey?/Maine….?

      • Mike

        Pelfry for Nady?

        • http://actyankee.blogspot.com Matt

          I think the Mets value Pelfrey too much to let him go, even if it is for a “need” position like a corner OF. Trading Pelfrey w/o signing a pitcher would fuck their rotation even farther.

          • Mike

            agreed…

            what if…

            We put together a package for Johan?

            Cano, Nady and Hughes?

            It fills all the Mets issues and gives us a dominate frontline…

            • http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/CRsmithT1.jpg tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

              Stop. Just stop.

            • http://actyankee.blogspot.com Matt

              I’ m going to go ahead and hope you’re being sarcastic.

              But just in case you’re not…

              If you agree with my notion that giving up Pelfrey would weaken their rotation considerably, why would they trade Santana?

              • Mike

                rebuild, they have young talent at 3b, ss, lf, sp and rp

                it would give them more sp and a 2b of the future

                it just depends if they think they have made any real improvements this year and will be able to compete for a title. they need a boost to get over the phillies and i am not sure if they have actually done it.

                • http://actyankee.blogspot.com Matt

                  No, they haven’t.

                  But, they wouldn’t trade arguably THE BEST PITCHER IN MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL for a still-unproven pitcher and a position player at a position that is…already filled for them. Also, who would the Yankees put at 2B? And don’t say Michael Young or so help me Cox I will lose my mind.

  • D.B.H.O.F. p.k.a The Last Don

    I would not doubt that Joe Buck has gotten threats that create the need for the escorts, however FOX should be paying for them not the taxpayers.

    Although I would be in favor of an additional tax if it was to pay Joe Buck to stay at home instead of infect my TV screen with his verbal diarrhea.

    • http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/group.php?gid=43434432275 Ace

      They should let the commentators of the teams that reach the series call the series. Home team gets their regular booth for the home games.

      or, if it was up to me, Vin Scully should call every game by himself.

      • The Honorable Congressman Mondesi

        I think your idea is fun but I have to disagree here. Can you imagine trying to watch the World Series if your plan was adopted and the White Sox were in it?

        http://tinyurl.com/8x776c

        • http://www.puristbleedspinstripes.com Rebecca-Optimist Prime

          *shudder*

      • http://actyankee.blogspot.com Matt

        The only team specific announcers I like are Harry Kalas, Ken Singleton, and David Cone.

        The NESN guys are decent (I have it at school); the White Sox guys make me want to throw up, however.

        • http://actyankee.blogspot.com Matt

          Come to think of it, those three guys are the only announcers I do like. Add Al Lieter to that list, too, I guess. Everyone else gets a big fat “mute.”

          • Sweet Dick Willie

            I guess that means you’ve never heard Vin Scully call a game. Because there is a HUGE gap between him and whoever is 2nd best.

        • http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/CRsmithT1.jpg tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

          Ken Singleton is so underrated. Awesome announcer.

          Also, now that Jim Rice is in the hall, Singleton should be a shoo-in. He was so “feared”

          • http://actyankee.blogspot.com Matt

            Ha, that’s all it takes, isn’t it?

            But seriously, just going by the numbers, Kenny S was a damn good ball player.

          • D.B.H.O.F. p.k.a The Last Don

            “Ken Singleton is so underrated. Awesome announcer.”

            He really is. I miss Jim Kaat. I miss Whitey Ashburn. Most of the rest of the guys out there these days just talk too much and too much silly stats.

            And by silly stats I mean when they have to tell you what a guy is hitting on Wednesday night games at home when down by three runs with the bases loaded when the pitcher has on an alternate jersey. I get that ESPN and Fox have spent tons of money on their staffs but the combo of that and 3 man booths is horrible. Or a booth with people who talks like they are three men like Joe Buck does.

            McCarver is annoying as well but he at least knows something about baseball and at one time he was not soooo bad (this was years and years ago)

            Am I the only one one here who does not like when Paulie does the Yanks games? I am also no fan of

      • D.B.H.O.F. p.k.a The Last Don

        I know people seem to get mad when I say this but I never got Vin Scully. I did not grow up hearing him do games on a regular basis but am old enough to have heard him do plenty of national big games and also have spent enough time in LA and spend enough time listening to different radio broadcasts to have heard him dozens and dozens of times.

        I like a two man booth, comprised with two professionals that know the game and are likable and make me feel like I am sitting there with them watching the game. Best team I ever heard was Whitey and Harry in Philly.

    • http://www.puristbleedspinstripes.com Rebecca-Optimist Prime

      There are worse people out there than Joe Buck.

      Tim McCarver, for one. Pity, I used to like him with Jim Kaat…

    • Arin

      Hey Tim, Joe Buck yourself.

      • Bruno

        LOL

    • UWS

      How about a simple one-time to sew his mouth shut? Then he could go anywhere he pleased AND not bother us with the afore-mentioned verbal diarrhea.

      • D.B.H.O.F. p.k.a The Last Don

        I do not even like to see his odd shaped head on my TV.

  • justin

    excellent use of a snatch quote (scene: Tommy shows Turkish the handgun)

  • Mike

    Has anyone brougght up trading for Michael Young yet? It could give us a proven 2b and leadoff man when damon goes…

    Cano for Young (would that be enough to make it happen?)

    or

    Trade for Young and put Cano out in LF? (not sure that would work, but he seems to have range and a nice arm…)

    • http://actyankee.blogspot.com Matt
      • Mike

        To be honest I am ast work and YouTube is blocked…what does this even show? can I get a little help here?

        PS:
        I just read on mlbtraderumors and linked me to here
        http://sportsillustrated.cnn.c.....ef=writers

        • Sweet Dick Willie

          Dude, before throwing out craptastically horrendous potential trades, you really should check Cot’s Contracts, just to make sure that, you’re not, like, trading for one of the 5 worst contracts in MLB.

          RAB has a link to it for your convenience (http://mlbcontracts.blogspot.com/).

          • http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/CRsmithT1.jpg tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

            …just to make sure that, you’re not, like, trading for one of the 5 worst contracts in MLB.

            Michael Young is the Stephon Marbury of baseball.

      • http://www.riveraveblues.com Joseph P.

        Hi-fucking-larious. Just because I can, and because it was so awesome:

    • http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/CRsmithT1.jpg tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

      UWS, this one’s for you: (keep following the links)

      Has anyone brougght up trading for Michael Young yet? I

      http://riveraveblues.com/2009/.....ent-256451

      (i think i just created an inescapable time vortex of some sort.)

    • http://asportsaddictneedsdivineintervention.blogspot.com/ E-ROC
    • Bruno

      Has anyone brougght up trading for Michael Young yet?

      No, because we’re smarter than that.