‘Protection from what? Zee Germans?’


Talking Points Memo broke what might possibly be my favorite story of well-spent tax-payer money. Forget the tax-free bonds for the new Stadium. Instead, enjoy this tale of U.S. Marshal escorts for Joe Buck, Tim McCarver and Troy Aikman at various points in the baseball and football seasons. The DoJ report (PDF) outs Joseph Band as the sub-par statistician-cum-lawyer who set up this gig, and while the report makes for some great legal ethics reading, there’s no word on how much this actually cost us. I hope the FOX announcing team can manage without their escort in the future. (Worthless RAB points to the first person who can ID the movie quote in the post title.)

Categories : Asides


  1. Miguel in PR says:

    Nice title, quoting Snatch’s Turkish (Jason Statham)! :D

  2. Andy In Sunny Daytona says:

    Turkish was speaking to Tommy about his gun. Tommy needed the gun for protection against Bricktop and his men.

  3. Dan says:

    nice lock/stock reference

  4. Ace says:

    Would you guys consider trading Wang for Prince Fielder to be our full-time DH for the next 6 years?

  5. Matt says:

    Tommy always says he’s named after a gun. I’m the only one who knows he’s named after a famous 19th century ballet dancer.

  6. Jamal G. says:

    I have no idea why, but “South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut” was the first thing that came to my mind when I read the title.

    • JeffG says:

      Jesus am I tired I skimmed for the title and obviously skipped over the twelve people that already had it. Looks like I get the RAB retard points.

  7. Matt says:

    I thought this country spawned a language. So far, no one seems to speak it.

  8. Should be working says:

    Love that movie.

  9. TurnTwo says:

    WasWatching pooped all over RAB on the site today.

    Blog War!

  10. In Buck, McCarver, and Aikman’s defense, there’s probably millions of television viewers across the planet that would love to bitchslap those three for their general douchebaggery. I’d say U.S. Marshal protection is well warranted.

    Besides, now that Wesley Snipes’s career is over, it’s not like Tommy Lee Jones is busy doing anything else more important…

  11. Brooklyn Ed says:

    Jerry Crasnick and Ken Rosenthal are both reporting today that the Braves have interest in Yankees outfielders Nick Swisher and Xavier Nady. It’s not the first time we’ve heard the Braves connected to the two. The general feeling is that the Yankees are more willing to trade Nady, and the Braves may have to compete with the Mets for him.



    is there anyone in the braves we want? Tommy Hanson and Jurrjens is obviously out of the question.

  12. Tom Zig says:

    If Beckett ever makes it to free agency….what do we do?

  13. Rob in CT says:

    “The general feeling is that the Yankees are more willing to trade Nady, and the Braves may have to compete with the Mets for him.”


    1. Trade Xavier Nady for Roberto Hernandez and Oliver Perez (’06).
    2. Watch Nady have career year, land with Yankees (’08)
    3. Re-acquire Nady when his value is probably inflated.
    4. Profit?

  14. D.B.H.O.F. p.k.a The Last Don says:

    I would not doubt that Joe Buck has gotten threats that create the need for the escorts, however FOX should be paying for them not the taxpayers.

    Although I would be in favor of an additional tax if it was to pay Joe Buck to stay at home instead of infect my TV screen with his verbal diarrhea.

    • Ace says:

      They should let the commentators of the teams that reach the series call the series. Home team gets their regular booth for the home games.

      or, if it was up to me, Vin Scully should call every game by himself.

      • The Honorable Congressman Mondesi says:

        I think your idea is fun but I have to disagree here. Can you imagine trying to watch the World Series if your plan was adopted and the White Sox were in it?


      • Matt says:

        The only team specific announcers I like are Harry Kalas, Ken Singleton, and David Cone.

        The NESN guys are decent (I have it at school); the White Sox guys make me want to throw up, however.

        • Matt says:

          Come to think of it, those three guys are the only announcers I do like. Add Al Lieter to that list, too, I guess. Everyone else gets a big fat “mute.”

          • Sweet Dick Willie says:

            I guess that means you’ve never heard Vin Scully call a game. Because there is a HUGE gap between him and whoever is 2nd best.

        • Ken Singleton is so underrated. Awesome announcer.

          Also, now that Jim Rice is in the hall, Singleton should be a shoo-in. He was so “feared”

          • Matt says:

            Ha, that’s all it takes, isn’t it?

            But seriously, just going by the numbers, Kenny S was a damn good ball player.

          • D.B.H.O.F. p.k.a The Last Don says:

            “Ken Singleton is so underrated. Awesome announcer.”

            He really is. I miss Jim Kaat. I miss Whitey Ashburn. Most of the rest of the guys out there these days just talk too much and too much silly stats.

            And by silly stats I mean when they have to tell you what a guy is hitting on Wednesday night games at home when down by three runs with the bases loaded when the pitcher has on an alternate jersey. I get that ESPN and Fox have spent tons of money on their staffs but the combo of that and 3 man booths is horrible. Or a booth with people who talks like they are three men like Joe Buck does.

            McCarver is annoying as well but he at least knows something about baseball and at one time he was not soooo bad (this was years and years ago)

            Am I the only one one here who does not like when Paulie does the Yanks games? I am also no fan of

      • D.B.H.O.F. p.k.a The Last Don says:

        I know people seem to get mad when I say this but I never got Vin Scully. I did not grow up hearing him do games on a regular basis but am old enough to have heard him do plenty of national big games and also have spent enough time in LA and spend enough time listening to different radio broadcasts to have heard him dozens and dozens of times.

        I like a two man booth, comprised with two professionals that know the game and are likable and make me feel like I am sitting there with them watching the game. Best team I ever heard was Whitey and Harry in Philly.

    • There are worse people out there than Joe Buck.

      Tim McCarver, for one. Pity, I used to like him with Jim Kaat…

    • Arin says:

      Hey Tim, Joe Buck yourself.

    • UWS says:

      How about a simple one-time to sew his mouth shut? Then he could go anywhere he pleased AND not bother us with the afore-mentioned verbal diarrhea.

  15. justin says:

    excellent use of a snatch quote (scene: Tommy shows Turkish the handgun)

  16. Mike says:

    Has anyone brougght up trading for Michael Young yet? It could give us a proven 2b and leadoff man when damon goes…

    Cano for Young (would that be enough to make it happen?)


    Trade for Young and put Cano out in LF? (not sure that would work, but he seems to have range and a nice arm…)

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