Nick Swisher is the greatest Yankee of all time

Not even worth a double entendre headline
Teixeira expects to play tonight

Nick Swisher once won a game of Connect Four in three moves.

When you go to see Nick Swisher play, you have to buy two tickets. One for the game, and one for the gun show.

Nick Swisher’s intangibles are tangible.

Nick Swisher let the dogs out.

Carlos Delgado stood for the National Anthem because Nick Swisher told him too.

I would go on, but we only have so much bandwidth. Once again Swisher the best player on the team last night, hitting his team leading third homer while being the only pitcher to not allow a run. Forget chasing the MVP trophy, Swish is going after the Cy Young too.

Here’s a look at his pitch trajectories, via Pitch f/x. Remember to click on each graph for a larger view.

Bird's Eye View

All of Swish’s twenty-two pitches were identified as changeups by Pitch f/x, save for one two-seam fastball, so I instead split them up between overhand and sidearm. Surely you remember seeing Swish drop down and throw those handful of pitches from a super low arm angle. Here’s the view from first base:

First Base View

As free and easy as Nick was throwing, just about all that sink came from from good ol’ gravity. Here’s the catcher’s view:

Catcher's View

Pffft, forget Dave Eiland. Chien-Ming Wang needs to sit down with Swish and figure out where all the movement on his sinker went. Swisher does need to get more comfortable throwing in on lefties and away to righties, though. Let’s take a look at his release points:

Release Points

That’s an amazingly consistent release point, then again Nick Swisher is amazingly amazing. Lastly, here’s his scatter plot at the strikezone:

Balls and Strikes

Effectively wild, I’d say.

So while last night’s game was completely forgettable, Nick Swisher taking to the mound was a moment all baseball fans could enjoy.

Not even worth a double entendre headline
Teixeira expects to play tonight
  • jon

    This is exacly what I needed after a loss like that. Thanks for the laugh

  • Tseng

    If he could develop a third pitch he would be sick.

    • http://twitter.com/tsjc68 tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

      He did develop a third pitch. However, it was so good he vowed never to use it out of pity for the rest of the league.

      It’s called “Hamster style”.

      • Spaceman.Spiff

        Swisher taught Dice-K the Gyroball and then subsequently beat the knowledge out of him when Dice-K forgot that Swisher only eats jelly doughnuts.

      • http://eemack.blogspot.com Eric

        I thought I was the only person in America who had seen Orgazmo

        • http://mantisfists.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/julius-carry-aka-shonuff.jpg The Honorable Congressman Mondesi

          Nah, it tends to come up relatively often around here.

          • http://mantisfists.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/julius-carry-aka-shonuff.jpg The Honorable Congressman Mondesi
            • http://eemack.blogspot.com Eric

              I’m new

              • http://mantisfists.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/julius-carry-aka-shonuff.jpg The Honorable Congressman Mondesi

                Welcome comrade, to the Socialist Republic of RAB.

                • http://mantisfists.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/julius-carry-aka-shonuff.jpg The Honorable Congressman Mondesi

                  I suck, that’s another RAB joke… Someone comes here and calls RAB socialist and it’s kind of hilarious/confusing.

        • http://www.riveraveblues.com Joseph Pawlikowski

          What? I don’t have a single friend who hasn’t seen it.

  • http://actyankee.blogspot.com Matt

    Like we said the other night: Nick Swisher doesn’t experience statistical corrections, statistical corrections experience Nick Swisher.

  • http://deleted Tseng

    You guys haven’t added Swisher yet to the Depth chart for LHRP. Why?

  • http://actyankee.blogspot.com Matt

    I’m also willing to bet Nick Swisher had a better release point than Wang last night.

  • http://twitter.com/tsjc68 tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

    Nick Swisher once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

    Nick Swisher once ate a 72 ounce steak in an hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

    Nick Swisher once challenged Lance Armstrong to a “Who has more testicles?” contest. Nick Swisher won by five.

    • http://actyankee.blogspot.com Matt

      Nick Swisher takes pitches just to spare them.

      Nick Swisher started the fire.

      When Jesus ascended to heaven on Easter, Nick Swisher was waiting for him.

      Nick Swisher wears white after Labor Day.

      The boogeyman checks under his bed for Nick Swisher.

    • http://www.new.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/profile.php?id=594331910&ref=name Jamal G.

      Nick Swisher doesn’t read books, he stares them down and get the information he wants.

      Nick Swisher does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Nick Swisher goes killing.

      They once made a Nick Swisher toilet paper, but it wouldn’t take shit from anybody.

      Nick Swisher is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his lefty and righty swings.

      • Andy In Sunny Daytona

        Nick Swisher figured out “Lost” ten minutes into the premeire show.

        Nick Swisher cured Jon Lester’s cancer with a vanilla bean and hard work.

        Nick Swisher moved the immovable object 7 feet to the left.

        Nick Swisher invented a time machine, went back in time, banged his great-grandmother and became his own grandfather.

        • http://www.new.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/profile.php?id=594331910&ref=name Jamal G.

          That last one doesn’t sound like something a person should be proud of…

          • Andy In Sunny Daytona

            It’s the only way that he could become awesome between this season and last.

  • http://www.freewebs.com/ps3tf2/ Double-J

    On the 7th day, God did not rest; instead, he created Nick Swisher. He saw it, and it was good.

  • http://actyankee.blogspot.com Matt

    Nick Swisher’s hair helps cure cancer. Seriously.

    “To honor [his grandmother] further, he decided to grow his hair and donate it to Pantene Beautiful Lengths, a program that creates free wigs for cancer patients. On May 19th, 2007, he cut his hair with assistance from his father before Oakland’s game”

  • Yankeegirl49

    Thanks for the comic relief guys!

  • Nate

    Why do I have the feeling that Nick Swisher has become the Chuck Norris of RAB?

    • steve (different one)

      it may have something to do with everyone taking a bunch of Chuck Norris jokes and substituting in Swisher’s name?

      • steve (different one)

        i’m just kidding with you, btw

        • Andy In Sunny Daytona

          Nick Swisher slapped Chuck Norris. Norris cried and told his Mom.

  • steve (different one)

    i can’t wait to hear all the hand-wringing that is going to occur in the NY media b/c Swisher had fun in a loss….i guarantee Francessa will be up in arms.

    or do we only castigate Latin players for “smiling” when the team is behind?

    • KW

      I dunno, Posada looked pretty chapped about it all.

      • steve (different one)

        that’s b/c Posada is a certified “keeper of the dynasty”.

        i’m sure others will be on to tell me how this would never have happened from 1996-2000, except, you know, when Wade Boggs did it…

        • http://twitter.com/tsjc68 tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

          Four Rings Club ©®™

        • Chris C.

          “i’m sure others will be on to tell me how this would never have happened from 1996-2000, except, you know, when Wade Boggs did it…”

          Why would you assume people would tell you that?
          This may never have happened, however, if the Yankees were bright enough to realize they’d need a long reliever in the month of April. I mean, the starters are right out of the gate, not in mid-season form, and you want to limit their pitch count. How is a long man not needed?
          If they have Tomko or Aceves here, then they could have removed Wong earlier instead of letting him completely fuck up the 2nd inning too!

          • MattG

            Albaladejo threw 60 pitches. How many would’ve Tomko thrown? The difference is negligible, maybe even non-existent. Keep the better pitcher.

            • Chris C.

              “Albaladejo threw 60 pitches. How many would’ve Tomko thrown?”

              I don’t know, he’s not here. But he’s used to throwing 60 or more pitches…..and so is Aceves.
              Albaladejo sucks if he has to do that.
              As it turned out, the difference is negligible because Girardi had to keep him in the game so he didn’t burn through his pen.
              It’s not like he tossed 60 pitches of great baseball.

              • MattG

                Yeah, and Tomko or Aceves would’ve guaranteed a better result?

                The results aren’t central to your argument. You believe that a long man in the pen would’ve allowed Girardi to remove Wang sooner. The truth is a long man is not about to pitch significantly more than 60 pitches with irregular work anyway.

          • http://twitter.com/tsjc68 tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

            This may never have happened, however, if the Yankees were bright enough to realize they’d need a long reliever in the month of April.

            You’re right. Had we had a long man in the pen, Swisher pitching at the end of a 12-2 game, something that really isn’t a bad thing at all when you look at it, may never have happened.

            Had we planned differently, something that happened last night that ISN’T A BAD THING may not have happened.

            If they have Tomko or Aceves here, then they could have removed Wong earlier instead of letting him completely fuck up the 2nd inning too!

            No. I guarantee you, had Tomko or Aceves been on the roster, they would not have entered that game any earlier than Albaladejo did. Wang is one of our trusted starters. He’s going to be given the opportunity to go a second inning, longman or no longman. Everything up to the Carlos Peña grand slam would have happened the exact same way had we been carrying Tomko or Aceves.

            And, frankly, considering how much more effective Albaladejo has been over the past few years, if all three of them were available, I’d have gone with Albie there and so would most every big league manager.

            • Chris C.

              “No. I guarantee you, had Tomko or Aceves been on the roster, they would not have entered that game any earlier than Albaladejo did.”

              Well, they should have. Everybody knows that when Wong is off his game, he doesn’t improve as the game goes on. He should have been taken either at the end of the 1st, or after the 2nd guy reached in the 2nd inning.

              “Everything up to the Carlos Peña grand slam would have happened the exact same way had we been carrying Tomko or Aceves.”

              Okay, you’re probably right. But that speaks more to Girardi’s inability to know his starters than anything else. And this is no second guessing. I wanted him out in the 1st. To know Wong is to know that the 2nd inning wasn’t gonna go any smoother. Even idiot Michael Kay touched on Wang’s inability to make in-game adjustments. If he knows it, Girardi should.

              “And, frankly, considering how much more effective Albaladejo has been over the past few years, if all three of them were available, I’d have gone with Albie there”

              Why? Albaladejo is a 2 inning guy, who was forced to throw more pitches because of that situation. Who the hell is bringing in a 2 inning guy in the 2nd, if they have a long reliever like Tomko who can throw 5 innings?
              Yeah, effective……..if he’s only tossing 2 innings.

    • http://www.freewebs.com/ps3tf2/ Double-J

      Yeah, Skip Bayless basically creamed himself over this on First Take this morning…

      • rbizzler

        Was that miserable SOB pissed at Swish or angry at Jorge?

    • Chris C.

      i can’t wait to hear all the hand-wringing that is going to occur in the NY media b/c Swisher had fun in a loss….i guarantee Francessa will be up in arms.

      Listen……I like Swisher. REALLY like Swisher. I think he’s a breath of fresh air to a team that has gotten way too corporate and serious about themselves. But having said that, he embarassed Girardi with all that yacking it up. It’s bad enough for a manager when he’s got to put a position player in because his team just got blown out and he wants to spare the rest of his pen. The last thing he wants is for that guy to make a circus of it. And asking for the ball he struck Kapler out with wasn’t very cool at all. Girardi looked mortified.

      I realize Swish got lost in the moment and was exited to be doing something he probably hasn’t done since High School.
      But geez, you’re on the mound because your team just got blown out of the building. Now you’re collecting keepsake baseballs?

      That’s my only complaint about Swish. Other than that, he’s been awesome for the Yankees.

      • MattG

        It was game 7 of 162. If Girardi was mortified that a player tried to keep his team loose during a lopsided loss in early April, he needs a new line of work.

        • Chris C.

          No he doesn’t. There’s a certain decorum when taking the mound, regardless of who you are. Asking for the game ball after striking out Kapler was horse shit, regardless of what you think.

          You don’t act that way when you’re losing a ballgame 15-5. If Reyes did it, the world would colapse. If AROD did it, NY would burn. But it’s okay for Swisher to do it??
          Would he have done it if he was hitting .050?? O is he just happy that HE’S playing well?

          I don’t blame Posada one bit for being angry. That’s his job, and he takes it seriously. And people are getting on him for that?

          All these morons stating that it’s “just a game” don’t seem to realize that it’s not just a game to Posada…..it’s what he does for a living.

          • MattG

            When getting your head bashed in, it is okay for anyone to do anything with humor. It is offensive to only the hyper-sensitive, who need to get over themselves.

            Using hypotheticals does not improve your argument. 1) you do not know that Reyes or Rodriguez would catch slack for laughing while losing, 2) if they did, the predictable media reaction to it wouldn’t make it wrong in-and-of-itself, and 3) Swisher was the same affable, goofy guy while batting .219 in 2008 (which in fact pretty well disputes one of your hypothetical arguments).

            The team that is winning has a responsibility not to rub it in. The team that is losing has a responsibility to accept the drubbing with dignity. Smiling and laughing does not take away from dignity. Neither does being angry with yourself or your teammates. Neither Posada nor Swisher did anything remotely wrong–each accepted defeat in a manner consistent with their personality–and if Kapler or Maddon have reason to be offended, it says more about them than it does about Swisher.

            As far as it being a game, well, these are words I have not written. It is part of life. Sometimes you lose badly. Being able to stand in the center of it and laugh it off is actually pretty admirable.

  • http://statspeak.net dan

    Nick Swisher took batting practice today. There were no survivors.

  • Mike R. – Retire 21

    Swisher once hit a walk off home run in the 2nd inning.
    Swisher is so awesome his sweat is on the MLB PED list.

    Nick Swisher was not born of man. He spawned when lightning hit a baseball bat.

    Swisher is so amazing he hit a single off of Melvin Crousset.

    Swisher is so awesome that A-Rod no longer sucks just by proximity.

    • UWS

      Swisher is so amazing he hit a single off of Melvin Crousset.

      Now see, there’s a line and that there was you crossing it.

      • steve (different one)

        it was an infield single?

        • http://twitter.com/tsjc68 tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

          It was a weak slow roller to the first baseman who misplayed it, and should have been an error but the official scorer inexplicably ruled it a hit?

          • Andy In Sunny Daytona

            It once took Melvin Croussett 7 pitches to strike out Nick Swisher.

            • http://twitter.com/tsjc68 tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

              This is an urban legend.

              Nick and Melvin never faced each other. The entirety of the universe is founded on the principle that both Nick and Melvin are infallible, so a head to head matchup between them could have unraveled existence itself.

              That’s why Mo put a stop to it.

              http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triune_God

      • Andy In Sunny Daytona

        Slow down, you little mynx.

  • southernyankeefan

    was reading this on my phone in class and busted out laughing in the middle of the lecture. Great stuff, i love it.

    by the way nick swisher can kill two stones with one bird.

  • http://actyankee.blogspot.com Matt

    A-Rod didn’t take “boli” or whatever, he just drank a vial of Nick Swisher’s sweat.

  • Mike R. – Retire 21

    Leave it to me to take it too far, but I get results Damnit! I am the Martin Riggs of RAB commenters.

  • http://www.puristbleedspinstripes.com Rebecca-Optimist Prime…Swisher for MVP

    Man I love this.

    Have you guys seen the video clip? Tony Peña can’t stop laughing on the bench and the looks on the starters’ faces are hilarious.

    • http://www.new.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/profile.php?id=594331910&ref=name Jamal G.

      Jorge Posada is such a buzzkill.

      • http://www.puristbleedspinstripes.com Rebecca-Optimist Prime…Swisher for MVP

        Agreed.

      • Chris C.

        Girardi and Posada have World Series rings. The laughing guys don’t. MAybe Girardi and Posada realize that they’re looking foolish to a team that could end up taking their playoff spot. Ironic……and FUNNY. I don’t know how you can blame the catcher and the manager for not laughing.

        “and the looks on the starters’ faces are hilarious.”

        Except for Wang, I hope.

        • MattG

          I think you would get more enjoyment out of football.

          • Chris C.

            I think you’d get more enjoyment out of the circus, based on the fact that Swisher’s nonsense has gotten more play than any of the previous 5 ballgames.

            Are people now turning on sports because they don’t want to watch sports?

            • MattG

              A team acts professional so as to not show up their opponent. When you are losing 15-5, there is no humanly possible way to show up your opponent. All of your outrage, which you have aimed at Nick Swisher, is nothing but a really transparent projection of your frustrating impotence of being a mere fan.

              I suggest football, because with a measly 16 game season, you are likely to find many more fans as frustrated as you. But this is baseball, and goofing around while getting your head bashed in is something one or two players will do on every team a handful of times every year. There is nothing wrong with it–in fact, there is probably a lot of good that comes from it–and maybe someday you will learn this is true.

              • Chris C.

                “A team acts professional so as to not show up their opponent. When you are losing 15-5, there is no humanly possible way to show up your opponent.”

                Sure there is. Strike one of their guys out, then throw the game ball in the dugout.
                You don’t think Kapler or his teammates saw that?
                That is blatent “showing up your opponant”.

                “All of your outrage, which you have aimed at Nick Swisher, is nothing but a really transparent projection of your frustrating impotence of being a mere fan.”

                I clearly stated that I like Swisher, so don’t even think of sending me a bill for your misguided analysis. \

                “There is nothing wrong with it–in fact, there is probably a lot of good that comes from it–and maybe someday you will learn this is true.”

                Sure. I’ll keep that in mind when Matt Garza nails Jeter in the ribs tonight.

    • anonymous

      AJ was openly laughing at Kapler

  • http://actyankee.blogspot.com Matt

    Nick Swisher’s baseball playing makes Michael Jordan’s basketball playing look like Charles Barkley’s golfing.

  • anonymous

    We need to send Ozzie Guillen a muffin basket of appreciation.

    • http://www.puristbleedspinstripes.com Rebecca-Optimist Prime…Swisher for MVP

      Agreed.

      Or a thank you card, at any rate.

      • Chris C.

        Maybe because Swisher’s act wasn’t all that funny when his BA was under .220, and the team was out of the playoff picture.

        • http://www.riveraveblues.com Joseph Pawlikowski

          Except his team did make the playoffs…

  • Smitt Dogg

    Nick Swisher doesn’t do pushups, he pushes the earth down.

  • jon

    Nick Swisher spent the summer in Valencia, Venezuela in 1985. 9 months later a child was born, his name was Félix Abraham Hernández.

  • http://www.puristbleedspinstripes.com Rebecca-Optimist Prime…Swisher for MVP

    I’m watching the replay just so I can watch Swisher pitching again.

  • Wolf Williams

    Why wait for the NY media? I’ll be the first. I was put off by Swisher’s giggling on the mound. This isn’t Little League. This whole “it’s a glorified game of whiffle ball” act is wearing pretty thin. If that’s how Swisher feels, good for him, but that pitching stunt was a clown show, and I wish he had taken a line drive in the chest to get him to respect where he was. Collecting the ball for a meaningless strikeout was bush league.

    I appreciate Swisher’s contribution on the stat sheet, but save the Bozo the Clown act for your kid’s birthday parties.

    • jon

      YEA this is serious business, baseball is not a game!

      well actually it is a game… damn

      • Chris C.

        Little League is a game. Major League baseball is not.
        If it was only a game, there wouldn’t be a labor union running it.

    • steve (different one)

      of course you were.

    • anonymous

      Mr Francessa this is no time to dilly dally on the interwebs. You have a show to prepare for in a few hours. Get to work.

    • http://www.puristbleedspinstripes.com Rebecca-Optimist Prime…Swisher for MVP

      Lighten up.

      These guys play a GAME for a living. They’re supposed to entertain us.

      • Chris C.

        You don’t get it, do you? What Swisher did was embarass his manager, and show up an opposing player.

        He didn’t do anything that was so amazing. He threw some BP to the catcher, and was laughing like crazy out there. Then he almost nailed some guy in the ankle, and was laughing about that too.

        Boggs was way more entertaining. He took it seriously, and tossed some awesome knucklers.
        I don’t know……maybe I didn’t understand everything Swisher was laughing about.

        • http://www.riveraveblues.com Mike Axisa

          I don’t know……maybe I didn’t understand everything Swisher was laughing about.

          Probably because he realizes how lucky he is and loves life. He gets to play a child’s game while getting paid gobs of money to do, what’s not to laugh about?

          If Gabe Kapler thinks he was being shown up, then don’t strike out on a freaking 75mph “changeup” up and out of the zone.

          • Chris C.

            Probably because he realizes how lucky he is and loves life. He gets to play a child’s game while getting paid gobs of money to do, what’s not to laugh about?

            What’s not to laugh about? You’re losing 15-5.
            When you get payed gobs of money to win, and you’re losing, save the laughter for the clubhouse.

    • http://twitter.com/tsjc68 tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

      You don’t see the humorous irony at all present there?

      He’s not allowed to enjoy the ridiculousness of the moment at all?

      Position players don’t often pitch. He did it and it was kinda funny. I don’t see why it’s such a big deal, but it’s certainly not “bush league”. Bush league is Josh Beckett throwing a pitch at a dude’s head because he called for time. Showing emotional exuberance isn’t “bush league”.

      http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_ILi2YcJWxcM/ST4jBFztXAI/AAAAAAAAAAs/X5LeGqG1EHo/s400/LARRY+WALKER.jpg

    • http://www.new.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/profile.php?id=594331910&ref=name Jamal G.

      Heh, I like how you talk about “respect” but then go on to wish that another human being gets hit in the chest by a linedrive from the bat of a major-league hitter.

    • Sweet Dick Willie

      If Girardi thought that particular game at that particular time was serious, he wouldn’t have had Swisher pitch.

      Lighten up.

      • Chris C.

        “If Girardi thought that particular game at that particular time was serious, he wouldn’t have had Swisher pitch.”

        Good Lord! Putting Swisher in the game wasn’t Girardi’s version of giving someone a hotfoot. He wasn’t doing it for laughs, or to make a mockery of the game. He wanted the game to end, and didn’t want to use another pitcher.

        Sure, he didn’t put Swisher in because he’s in love with his slider, but he also didn’t put him to conduct a circus act.
        I mean, they’re down 15-5, the guy’s laughing at nothing on the mound, asking for game balls…..the whole thing was just weird.

    • http://actyankee.blogspot.com Matt

      Why wait for the NY media? I’ll be the first. I was put off by Swisher’s giggling on the mound. This isn’t Little League. This whole “it’s a glorified game of whiffle ball” act is wearing pretty thin.

      OH NO! HOW DARE SOMEONE HAVE FUN! It’s fucking baseball, dude, not international relations. It’s okay to have fun. Shit, isn’t that what everyone always says when players are too tight? That they should go out there and “have fun” and remember it’s a game? Seems like it’s working pretty will for Swish, considering he’s hitting the cover off the ball right now.

      If that’s how Swisher feels, good for him, but that pitching stunt was a clown show,

      So you would’ve rather had Girardi waste a real pitcher in that situation, knowing the Yankees don’t have an off day til the 23rd? This move was a necessary move and Swisher made the best of it.

      and I wish he had taken a line drive in the chest to get him to respect where he was

      Wishing people bodily harm when they’re having fun is really cool. I wonder what Joe Martinez and the Giants would think of this statement. And Matt Clement, too.

      Collecting the ball for a meaningless strikeout was bush league.

      Yeah, that was a little iffy, but whatever. Who cares? At least this gives us something to laugh at from an otherwise atrocious game. In the words of some unseen character from “Van Wilder”: don’t take life too seriously; you’ll never get out alive.

      • http://www.puristbleedspinstripes.com Rebecca-Optimist Prime…Swisher for MVP

        What happened to Matt Clement?

      • Wolf Williams

        You guys are free to feel that way. Good luck to you. Some of us prefer Bob Gibsons to Jimmy Piersalls. I prefer Bill Parcells to Marv Levy.

        Remind me again of how many World Series titles Nick Swisher has won? I’ll take Jorge’s buzzkill seriousness and his four rings to Swisher’s lighthearted, lovable loser act any day.

        • Andy In Sunny Daytona

          You’re right Wolf. For God sakes Tampa Bay magic number is 153!!!!!!

        • http://actyankee.blogspot.com Matt

          You guys are free to feel that way. Good luck to you. Some of us prefer Bob Gibsons to Jimmy Piersalls. I prefer Bill Parcells to Marv Levy.

          What does this have to do with ANYTHING? No one is saying Nick Swisher is a good pitcher or that there should be a habit made of position players pitching. This is a GAME we all love. Lighten up.

          Remind me again of how many World Series titles Nick Swisher has won? I’ll take Jorge’s buzzkill seriousness and his four rings to Swisher’s lighthearted, lovable loser act any day.

          This is another irrelevant argument. Luis Sojo has more World Series titles than Ted Williams and Ernie Banks combined. I guess that means he’s better, right? Please.

          • Chris C.

            “This is another irrelevant argument. Luis Sojo has more World Series titles than Ted Williams and Ernie Banks combined.”

            You responded to an irrelevant argument with one EVEN MORE irrelevant.

        • steve (different one)

          Remind me again of how many World Series titles Nick Swisher has won?

          this argument is like the Bat Signal for dumb posts.

          • http://www.riveraveblues.com Joseph Pawlikowski

            IETC

            • http://actyankee.blogspot.com Matt

              +1

        • http://mantisfists.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/julius-carry-aka-shonuff.jpg The Honorable Congressman Mondesi

          “You guys are free to feel that way. Good luck to you.”

          Good luck with what? Do you think that you run a baseball team and are competing with other commenters who also run teams, and that your belief that Nick Swisher shouldn’t have had fun last night will lead you to building a more successful team than those who don’t have a problem with Swisher having fun? Cause that’s really the only way I can make your statement make some sense, but that’s just kinda insane.

          • Wolf Williams

            Talk about people needing to lighten up. All I did was say that Swisher’s Gomer Pyle act is a turn-off. Now I got one guy itemizing posts and responding almost line by line. A few others taking personal shots with silly words like ‘insane’ and reading far too much into my comments.

            I don’t dig Swisher’s awww-shucksness…. so sue me. If you guys want to spend a half hour telling me to lighten up, you might want to take some of your own advice. We disagree about the proper on-field demeanor for a pro player. Okay, so we disagree…..

            • http://actyankee.blogspot.com Matt

              You’re entitled to your opinion but you make it sound that Swisher’s attitude makes him a worse player…which it doesn’t. At all.

              • Chris C.

                You’re entitled to your opinion……”

                If he’s entitled to his opinion, why the fuck is he getting knocked for it?

                “but you make it sound that Swisher’s attitude makes him a worse player…which it doesn’t. At all.”

                That’s how he makes it sound?

            • http://mantisfists.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/julius-carry-aka-shonuff.jpg The Honorable Congressman Mondesi

              Nobody’s “reading too much” into your comments, we’re reading the WORDS YOU WROTE ON THE PAGE. If you want your words to be interpreted a certain way, it’s on you to choose your words more wisely.

            • http://twitter.com/tsjc68 tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

              Talk about people needing to lighten up. All I did was say that Swisher’s Gomer Pyle act is a turn-off.

              No, you didn’t. You said he was “bush league”, a “clown show”, and that you wanted him to get hit in the chest with a line drive. That’s not saying that “his Gomer Pyle act is a turn-off.”. Here’s how you say that:

              “Nick Swisher’s Gomer Pyle act is a turn-off.“

              Now I got one guy itemizing posts and responding almost line by line.

              Get used to it. You make posts sharing your thoughts, expect to have them analyzed and examined. That’s what we do around here. That’s what makes RAB RAB. You want to join in the discussion, try to make sense. But, whether you do or you don’t, prepare to be itemized.

              A few others taking personal shots with silly words like ‘insane’ and reading far too much into my comments.

              If you don’t want people “reading things into your comments”, be clearer and more direct with your comments. Don’t throw in silly quasi-smears like Bill Parcells and Marv Levy unless you’re prepared to explain their germanity. Don’t throw in statements like “I wish he would get hit with a line drive” unless you mean it and are prepared to defend it’s rightness.

              I don’t dig Swisher’s awww-shucksness…. so sue me.

              That’s your right. And, like above, had you just SAID THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE, instead of insinuating that 1) Swisher was bush league and deserved to be HIT WITH A BASEBALL and 2) Swisher’s awww-shucksness was somehow a detriment to our club’s ability to win titles (because it’s un-Posadaian), none of this parsing would have happened. The reason you’re being parsed is because you’re saying things that you claim later to have not said.

              If you guys want to spend a half hour telling me to lighten up, you might want to take some of your own advice. We disagree about the proper on-field demeanor for a pro player. Okay, so we disagree…

              And, if you can disagree without hyperbolic vitriol, maybe people wouldn’t jump on you.

              • Nady Nation

                Come on TSJC, everyone knows “awww-shucksness” doesn’t win championships. Just ask Eli Manning.

                • http://actyankee.blogspot.com Matt

                  Didn’t work for Hasheem Thabeet…

                  :(

            • http://mantisfists.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/julius-carry-aka-shonuff.jpg The Honorable Congressman Mondesi
        • jon

          yes it is completely clear to me that the reason jorge has won all those WS was because he was serious not because he played on the greatest baseball team from 1996 to 2000

          but just for fun lets take a look at their stats this year

          jorge: 350/409/700

          pretty damn good being serious must be the way to go

          swisher: 450/542/1.150

          opps

          • Nady Nation

            There were plenty of ways you could’ve gone about refuting the ridiculous notion that Posada won 4 rings b/c of his serious demeanor, but citing 7 games worth of stats to compare Swisher and Posada (which I still don’t understand the point of) was certainly not one of them.

          • Chris C.

            “but just for fun lets take a look at their stats this year

            jorge: 350/409/700

            pretty damn good being serious must be the way to go

            swisher: 450/542/1.150

            opps”

            This board keeps getting dumber and dumber.

        • http://twitter.com/tsjc68 tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

          You guys are free to feel that way. Good luck to you. Some of us prefer Bob Gibsons to Jimmy Piersalls. I prefer Bill Parcells to Marv Levy.

          Bob Gibson, Jimmy Piersall, Bill Parcells, and Marv Levy: all utterly irrelevant to this discussion of whether or not Nick Swisher should be smiling and laughing at the unique circumstance of being on the mound.

          This little throw in smear is meaningless and tangential. No, wait, it’s not even tangential because there’s no tangent point for it to leap off from. It’s an utter non sequitur.

          It’s literally out of leftfield, which is ironic because Nick Swisher is from out of rightfield.

          Remind me again of how many World Series titles Nick Swisher has won?

          And, again, THIS SENTENCE HAS NO VALUE, until you show me how Swisher smiling on the mound means he can’t be a championship player. Nick Swisher hasn’t played on World Series worthy teams. Mike Mussina was a tight-assed traditionalist, and he also won zero rings. NONE OF THIS MATTERS.

          I’ll take Jorge’s buzzkill seriousness and his four rings to Swisher’s lighthearted, lovable loser act any day.

          Those four rings are gone, man. They’re over and done with. They don’t help us win ballgames anymore.

          Seeing as how, for 2009 and beyond, Nick Swisher stands to be a way better player than Jorge Posada, I’ll take Swisher if forced to choose one. What you produce on the field counts WAY MORE than how you act on the field.

          • Chris C.

            “Seeing as how, for 2009 and beyond, Nick Swisher stands to be a way better player than Jorge Posada, I’ll take Swisher if forced to choose one.”

            What a load of bullshit. Even with the age difference, it’s still nonsense.
            Posada’s injury last season destroyed the Yankees. Swisher will never have that effect on any team he plays on.

            Stop getting all giddy over his quick start.

            2009 and BEYOND?? Okay……Swisher will be better than Posada in 2011, when Posada is 40 and Swisher is starting to resemble John Kruk.

      • Chris C.

        “So you would’ve rather had Girardi waste a real pitcher in that situation, knowing the Yankees don’t have an off day til the 23rd? This move was a necessary move and Swisher made the best of it.”

        NO…..making the best of it would have been realizing that your manager is in an embarassing spot, so just go out and throw a few pitches to the catcher and not turn it into a dog and pony show. But in a way, Girardi does deserve it a little……..he didn’t want to bring a long reliever up, so this is what he gets when his starter gets bombed.

        “Wishing people bodily harm when they’re having fun is really cool.”

        So was asking for the game ball when he struck Kapler out.
        Having fun is one thing, but what the heck is that about? I RARELY agree with Michael Kay, but he was right when he said that it was comical up to that point.

    • http://www.freewebs.com/ps3tf2/ Double-J

      Lighten up, Francis. [/Sgt. Hulka]

    • Mike R. – Retire 21

      I imagine you are a hoot at birthday parties. Is thee a number I can call to hire you?

  • http://twitter.com/tsjc68 tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

    Nick Swisher once met Angelina Jolie at a party. He walked up to her, touched her belly, and said to her, “You are now carrying my child.”

    Seven months later, she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion.

  • Steve B-BALL

    Swisher’s better than Coke!
    Have the Yankees sent Coke back where he belong’s? AAA

    • steve (different one)

      thank you for clarifying that it was “AAA”. i wasn’t sure where you thought he should be sent. back in time? to Egypt? perhaps into outer space?

      • http://twitter.com/tsjc68 tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

        Afghanisand.

        • http://mantisfists.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/julius-carry-aka-shonuff.jpg The Honorable Congressman Mondesi

          (The gift that keeps on giving.)

    • Chris C.

      You just knew someone was gonna make a goofy statement like this.

  • anonymous

    Nick Swisher, seated at the right hand of Mo.

  • thony

    I was seeing the game at MLB Gamedays in MLB.com and all Swisher’s pitches was changeups and only one fastball. All pitches was in the 74-76 mph range. Undoubtly I never will forget this game…

  • Mike R. – Retire 21

    Jackie Robinson’s family and Roberto Clemente’s family have started the Retire 33 campaign to honor Nick Swisher.

    • http://twitter.com/tsjc68 tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

      (golf clap)

  • Jack

    If you could look under the surface of China, you would see the words “Made by Nick Swisher”.

    • http://actyankee.blogspot.com Matt

      I like this one.

      • Jack

        Nick Swisher floats like a butterfly, and stings like a Tomahowk cruise missle.

  • Rich

    When will the debate begin about putting Swisher in the pen?

    /Francesa

    • desus

      IRETC

    • http://twitter.com/tsjc68 tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

      Nick Swisher has a closer’s “bull in a china shop” mentality.

  • Dan

    only 9 more appearances and he can qualify as a relief pitcher in fantasy

    • http://statspeak.net dan

      let’s hope it doesn’t get to that.

  • Klemy

    I am so upset that I turned off the television and walked away before this happened.

  • dkidd

    i loved him shaking off signs. saving the baseball not as much. won’t be surprised if he gets drilled his next time up against the rays

    • MattG

      That’s ridiculous. The Rays won the game 15-5, and would begrudge the Yankees from having any fun?

      • Chris C.

        Yes, they would. The Rays don’t like the Yankees, and I’m sure they didn’t like the game-ball crap that Swisher pulled either.

        They don’t like the Yankees, don’t like the Steinbrenners, don’t like the pinstripes, don’t like the self-righteous Yankee fans, and don’t like anything with an NY on it.

        And if you’ve seen any part of the D-Rays/Boston series’ of the past few years, then you know full well that this organization has long been through with being anyone’s doormat.

        Garza is knocking someone down tonight. Bank on it.

    • Chris C.

      “i loved him shaking off signs.”

      Funny stuff, if he’s appearing on SNL, or if “The Nick Swisher Show” ever gets off the ground. But this is a fucking baseball game that his team is losing 15-5, and his manager wants desperately to end because it’s embarassing.

      “saving the baseball not as much.”

      Extremely tacky.

      “won’t be surprised if he gets drilled his next time up against the rays”

      I really couldn’t tell if the Rays found any of this funny or not, to be honest with you.
      All I know is, Swisher was giggling like an 8-year old schoolgirl, I haden’t the foggiest idea what the heck he was laughing at. I still don’t.

  • MattG

    Give Nick number 21 four out of five, and number 49 on the fifth day!

  • BMB

    You guys made me laugh too much – this thread was great. I had to start a facebook group to collect the facts (don’t worry, credit is given). Hope you don’t mind. Thanks for the laughs!

  • Joey

    I would just like to remind everybody that while Nick Swisher can be the Chuck Norris of this site there is only one God, and he be Mo. For anyone that thinks less about Mo because of Swisher, let his wrath come down upon them.

    Amen.

  • Mearl

    I’ll be at the Yankee game on May 6th… the first home game against the Rays. You think there’ll be any chance of Gabe Kapler playing? I’d like to start a ‘Nick Swisher’ chant when he’s at bat.

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