Open Thread: Missing Bartolo
ByIt’s been exactly 15 days since Bartolo Colon was placed on the disabled list, and I have to say I legitimately miss watching the guy pitch. At the end of the day, baseball is just a branch of the entertainment industry, and watching some fat guy in his late-30′s slime out to the mound and throw mid-90′s gas on the corners entertains me. Bartolo threw 60 pitches in a simulated game down in Tampa today, facing Slade Heathcott among others. It’s unclear if he’ll go on a rehab assignment or start next weekend against the Mets. Either way, I miss watching Colon take the mound every five days, his starts had become must see TV. I hope he comes back soon for more than one reason.
Anyway, here is tonight’s open thread. The Reds and Rays will be on ESPN2 (Leake vs. Hellickson), and that’s pretty much it. Use this thread to talk about whatever, so have at it.
Site News: Got some good news to share: we have a new weekend writer for you all to hate enjoy. His name is Matt Warden, and you’ve seen his stuff on both The Yankee Analysts and (before that) Yankeeist. You can also follow him on Twitter at @Matt_Warden. We’re happy to have Matt aboard and I’m certain you’ll enjoy his posts.
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The Tyler Austin Watch
Another weekend writer to rag on? Yes!
Cannot wait to tar-and-feather this punk!
I can tell he’s gonna suck. The site is really going downhill. He’ll try to make jokes, and I won’t get them or I’ll feel offended.
you’re talking to him (unless you know that and I am missing the joke)
nope, that’s the other Matt. We happen to be blessed with 2 Matts at TYA
My softball team? Three Matts.
Has to be the most popular name of our generation. I, and basically all of my good friends, have dated at least one Matt.
That or Mike. Seriously Boomers, couldn’t you be a little more creative?
Matthew was in the top five for a bunch of years, I think. Not so much anymore.
Looks like it peaked at #3 in the 1980s. Rocketed up in popularity and then rocketed right back down.
http://www.babynamewizard.com/.....xact=false
Michael is a bit older, a mainstay of the 1960s.
That’s an awesome site, btw. You can waste so much time there.
Now you have people naming their kids Apple and Facebook.
That actually happened BTW. I’m not making this up.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/.....25934.html
While I won’t get into the larger debate about the wisdom of naming a baby after an internet website, that’s an important piece of nuance. Some American person naming their baby Facebook (because they like the website) is a bit different than an Egyptian person naming their baby Facebook (because he’s proud of how the site played a role in overthrowing a dictator and possibly liberating his country).
IMHO.
JERRY: Seven? Yeah, I guess I could see it. Seven. Seven periods of school, seven beatings a day. Roughly seven stitches a beating, and eventually seven years to life. Yeah, you’re doing that child quite a service.
GEORGE: (adamant) Yes I am. I defy you to come up with a better name than Seven.
I get your point wholeheartedly. I just think the name itself is dumb, not necessarily the sentimentality behind it.
Lewis Black had a good routine on names that he’d heard of including “Asshole” (pronounced A-shole-a), “Shithead” (pronounced Shi-thade), and “Abcde.”
My niece MySpace and our third cousin YouPorn take offense…
my kitchen floor? 4 Matts!
/complains about Matt before everyone else
I’ve asked this on twitter, but I’ll ask here as well as I’m seeking as many opinions as possible
Is anyone here a FiOS TV and/or internet subscriber? If so how is quality of the service and have you had any problems?
Stellar. No problems outside of the normal cable experience. Verizon is notorious for their bad billing system though. Amazing (symmetrical) speed and they don’t recompress their HD feeds.
Biggest concern would be that they are out of bandwidth and can’t really add more HD channels until they implement IPTV (or start compressing channels)
service is great. Billing sucks. They charged us for stuff that they said was free and pretended their commericials were wrong. We had a bad experience with their customer service and we cancelled within a month. They continued to bill us for the next six months until the Better Business Bureau stopped them. But the quality of their internet and tv and stuff was awesome but we just couldnt take the stupidity of thier billing and service department.
College World Series is also on tonight, Florida and South Carolina.
Curious to see who Mike has winning.
I will say that South Carolina having won 14 straight CWS games is pretty terrifying.
I like Florida’s pitching staff, two great starters and a ridiculous bullpen. That’s all you need in a three game series.
Go cocks.
… too easy.
Yup.
Also, the greatest thing ever for those of you who have not yet seen this:
http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/bl.....lb-wp10840
OhmyGod. That is vile. Oh, that is disgusting.
He probably has a hairy butt, too. Back hair doesn’t stop at the waistline, people.
How do I know this? Common knowledge. That’s all.
How is that not the most bad ass thing ever? If anything, it’s a reason to be a Twins fan.
That’s not bad ass at all. That’s hideous. First of all, it looks dumb. Second of all, if he has that much back hair in the first place, he should get it laser removed. That’s just gross.
If you mean that in the most literal sense ever, as in his ass is probably bad, then yes I agree, because it’s probably hairy and disgusting.
How is that not awesome? He’s a man, he shouldn’t be all delicate and womanly…let the man be a man. I bet that guy could down a case of Nattie Ice in an hour.
A clean back isn’t delicate- it’s just hygenic and not nasty.
Survey all of the women you know and ask them what they think of hairy backs (kinda like that guy). Most of them will be repulsed by that.
That guy probably doesn’t even have a woman. And if he does it probably some overweight girl named Bertha that doesn’t shave her armpits, drives a pickup truck, farts on command, and can belch the alphabet.
Now look at a clean guy, like Orlando Bloom for example. Orlando has Miranda Kerr while that guy has Bertha. The clean guy always wins..
Here’s a lesson: girls like guys that are clean.
Hairy backs and butts: major turnoff.
I love the way your brain works sometimes.
Lol um thankyou? Haha idk
This is why women ruin sports blogs.
/misogenist’d
Oh please, weird ass dudes get prime tail all the time. Hugh Hefner? There’s at least three women that have fucked Newt Gingrich, which is at least three more than I’d have guessed.
Anyways, how do you know a hairy back isn’t hygienic? He could shampoo it on a daily basis. And you know he has a woman, there’s no way he could talk ANYONE BUT his wife to do that.
That’s not manly; that’s barbaric.
Maybe cavemanly…
I dunno man. I am definitely glad that I don’t have back hair. If I did (and could afford it) I would get laser. Considering all the shit we **prefer** women to do with their body hair, it’s only fair that we extend the same courtesy to them.
It’s not about narcissism, it’s about courtesy. It’s about not grossing people out.
FWIW, THAT MUCH back hair is kind of a mess…
counterpoint, we are in fact talking about Minnesota. So there’s that
It’s evolution, the man needs to stay warm.
Sergio Mitre DFA by the Brewers. Over under on his return?
Under.
I think Gaudin is due for his annual return first
I’d rather have him than Buddy Carlyle, but it’s best to just be done with Mitre.
with the state of the Yankees pitching staff, Mitre actually passes the ‘Mitre Test’…
that just happened
As long as his posts aren’t funny. The internet is no place for humor.
Doom AND Gloom
that other guy got fired?/
No one got fired.
Guess he wasn’t a tank.
Probably wasn’t even a soldier.
He was like the Giambi of blogging… but with a better glove?
/Complains about the complaints about the complaints about the complaints… All preemptively!
(Congrats to Matt, and let’s please leave that weekend writer complaining/counter-complaining stuff in the weekend posts so as not to infect the rest of the threads. Gracias in advance.)
Typical East Coast elitist trying to tell the rest of us how to act.
Oh, look at Matt sitting up high atop his cloud of East Coast elitist judgment in Greenwich, handing out life lessons to all the sinners.
matt sux lol whatevs
I miss Bartolo sooooo much
You know, I really don’t understand the hate with the weekend writers. They’re not terrible. An even if you feel they are, you shouldn’t be rude.
If I am not happy with this Matt fella writings on the weekend, I will be asking for a refund!
So. Dodgers.
Two words.
Mark. Cuban.
If you’re a Yankee fan, those two words should be:
No.Thanks.
Although it would mean more competition for the Yankees, it would be good for baseball. I have no beef with the Dodgers. At least they’re in the national league.
Can the Yanks just give Dodgers a few million for the next payroll in return for Kershaw?
Seriously, there’s no good reason why the Dodgers aren’t the West Coast version of the Yankees. These two franchises should stand astride the rest of the league like Vanderbilt atop a railroad track*.
(*Was that too arcane of a reference?)
I have to agree with you there.
there is ONE good reason that the Dodgers are not the Yankees of the West right now…
let me give you a hint, the answer is leaving with 1/2.
I’d bet you wouldn’t be too happy if Cuban were owner of the Dodgers and stole CC away from the Yankees this offseason.
I doubt even Mark Cuban could outbid the Yankees. And it doesn’t matter whether I’m happy about it or not.
It’ a moot point anyway since MLB wouldn’t let him in anyway. I’m sure they’ve taken notice of all the aggravation he’s given to David Stern over the years with his mouth.
you dont think the allure of what a Mack Cuban could do with a Dynasty team like the Dodgers is enough of a draw that they could start making those kinds of moves?
you might be delusional. Here’s the deal: there are millions of baseball fans in the greater LA area, and like 12 of them give a shit about the Angels unless they go to the World Series and they get to see a rally monkey on the monitors…
There is NO REASON why the Dodgers should not own the West Coast…
Why am I delusional? I agree with you.
not you in particular, more in general.
I feel ya.
Dear Hal:
We should buy this.
Sincerely,
Hank
And make it a farm team of the Yankees. Matt Kemp and Clayton Kershaw on the Yankees
http://www.zrxoa.org/photopost.....impson.jpg
Oh, quit cogitating, Steinmetz, and use an open-faced club! A sand wedge!
Mmmmmm…open faced club sandwich….
Bartolo Agrees!!
Hmmm…while no one person can own a single team, could another Steinbrenner family member own the Dodgers? I guess they could, but they would have to divest whatever ownership shares they have in the Yankees.
I’m sure they’d never approve it, no matter what.
Bad that I get a strange satisfaction seeing them self destruct?
Oh, and remember when the Yankees pulled that great comeback against them last year?
It was a year ago today.
That was so good, might be my favorite game from last year. Broxton has been toast ever since though, kinda sad.
That game was so awesome, one of my favorites ever. Except it killed Broxton, which is sad. :/
Posada gave me a good lesson in small sample size this year. I was digging his grave a 5-6 weeks ago.
Hannah has gotten a ton of shit from people complaining about her “whimsy” columns. You really need to get a life if you’re relegated to bitching about weekend columns in a free blog.
I don’t think people realize when you are writing 4-5 articles per day about the Yankees, every article isn’t going to be ground breaking. Overall, I think this site is a breath of fresh air in presenting differing opinions and points of view analyzing the team.
I’m personally insulted that these weekend writers have the gall to tell me that I’m dumb.
Sincerely,
Dumb People
#eastillectualitist
So people on the West coast can’t be elitist?
no they’re either high or republicans
im high, a republican, and on the east coast.
It’s so easy and routine to not read articles. I skip plenty on any site or magazine I read. I can’t imagine getting angry about it.
Except Hannah isn’t writing 4 or 5 articles a day. She’s writing opinion pieces which are cake. And if she’s smart she’s writing them during the week, which amounts to maybe two a day. But yea, aside from that, you’re right.
I’ve found something incredible. When I don’t like the previous work a writer has done, I avoid their future work. It’s incredible.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v.....ata_player
Mike Francesa gets some pretty hysterical prank calls.
How does one tell the difference between a “normal” Francesa caller and a prank caller? They’re much too close to distinguish.
I feel like everyone who tunes into that show is a prank listener.
He was advocating them signing Fielder to an 8 year contract just to DH.
I ordered my dog to sic him through the television.
“I like Inge. I like him a lot. I would be interested in Inge.”
He was advocating them signing Fielder to an 8 year contract just to DH.
I’m often reminded why I’m glad I never listen to that show.
I was watching on YES. Does that make it better?
Also, I wasn’t so much watching as doing chores and listening to it.
Oh, shit, that means I was listening!
Old habits die hard.
Wait until this offseason and you’ll see a bunch of commenters on this site calling for the Yankees to sign Fielder too. Quite a few Yankee fans think they should sign EVERY big name free agent.
I wouldn’t be opposed to it if I didn’t think Fielder was bound to break down at some point over the next 8 years, the Yankees didn’t have a perfectly viable alternative already in their system, and that DH wouldn’t be needed for ARod, Jeter and Teix rest over the next 3-6 years.
FWIW if we did not have Tex, I would LOOOOVE Prince. but for like 4 years, not so much for 8..
I bet you when the calls start Mike will say “the Yankees don’t need a superstar at every position. DH is a half day off for the older players. Boy typical Yankee fan they want everybody. Hey how about they get Pujols and put him in the outfield…*shakes head* This is uttah nonsense.”
I hate the rotating DH idea because it means someone like Eduardo Nunez or Chris Dickerson or Frankie Cervelli will be in the lineup every day. Signing a DH to an eight year contract is also hilariously bad roster management, even for a team without some of the old guys the Yankees are stuck with.
I find the callers very inspiring. Take my handle, for example.
“I checked my sawces”. Lol
Just a thought on Montero. Maybe he’s just a slow starter. Last year at this time he was batting .235 with only 4 home runs in 235 at bats.He ended the season batting .289 with 21 home runs in 453 at bats. So his current .287 average with 5 home runs looks pretty good to me.
Matt’s arrival continues my very subtle attempts for RAB to relocate to central Connecticut.
You nutmeg bastards make me sick, what with your knowledge corridor and your steady habits and your gaudy HDI scores.
Don’t hate the player(s); hate the game.
You’re all rooting for the Gators tongiht since USC eliminated UConn in the Super Regionals.
As a former UCF student (was there for a year), I’m definitely rooting for the Gators.
Being a UCF student should make you root against the Gators.
You people have no idea how to be proper Floridians.
crap, I meant UF. dunno why I was thinking of UCF. typing failed.
I used to live in Florida, so I know how to deal with them. friends are crazy you know. lol.
Haha well then that’s fine.
And then you understand that if you live in Florida and are not a Gator fan, you hate the Gators and UF in general.
I would rather eat my own face than root for the Gators.
strangely intrigued…
I can’t root for the Gators because my roommate worships Tim Tebow, refers to Chandler Parsons as “his boy”, and continually uses #gatorswag on Twitter.
/punchesthings
any fight fans out there? how crazy was that comeback knockout by Cheick Kongo? if he didn’t hold onto Browne’s shorts he would be riding a three fight win streak right now.
i think Matt Mitrione makes sense as his next opponent.
It’s unclear if he’ll go on a rehab assignment or start next weekend against the Mets
Wait, wouldn’t a rehab assignment actually be harder?
Zing!
YOU TAKE THAT BACK!
The Yankees should announce that Bartolo Colon will making a rehab assignment next weekend before he’s ready to face a MLB team, and then announce it’s against the NY Mets.
Quick question: When it says arb. eligible on the B-R page, does that mean at the beginning or end of that year’s season? That is, if it says “Joe Shmo signed through 2011 arb eligible 2012″ does that mean after this season or after next season?
I think it means he’s eligible for arbitration for his 2012 contract
I have to say I’m always impressed by Dan Shaughnessy’s ability to turn every story in sports into a story about Boston.
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.c.....=hp_t13_a2
paraphrasing…
“The Dodgers are bankrupt…did you know that Frank McCourt once bid on the Red Sox, but we the people of Boston rose as one and denounced him as a charlatan? Truly we are the greatest fans in the world. Also, the Dodgers had the audacity to pay a large amount of money to Manny Ramirez…the amazing people of Boston shake our collective heads in disgust at the idea of a team playing a known steroid user. HARRUMPH!”
(reads article)
Selig really missed the boat not letting the Dolans run the Red Sox. I’m sure that would have turned out splendidly for that ballclub. I have full faith in Charles and Jim’s ability to run a first-rate franchise.
Sincerely,
Scott Layden, Isiah Thomas, and Anucha Browne-Sanders
Perhaps they would have signed Eddy Curry to play 1st instead of trading for A-Gon…I hear that Curry kid’s got real potential.
They are paying David Ortiz a large sum of money.
David Ortiz said he didn’t do steroids. It was vitamin supplements. You see, it very easy to get things like that mixed up.
His word is definitely good enough me.
dont worry one of these days he will get to the bottom of that
sooooooo, yeah.
Don’t read Shaughnessy, it’s bad for your eyes.
Read this instead.
Chet Haze performed this weekend. Results: Not good.
http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/20.....to-witness
/RebeccaBlack’d
Worst lion fight EVER: http://online.wsj.com/video/it.....F14D6.html
Lion was smart. If he attacked the man and killed him, then they would have killed the lion.
Lion >>>>>>>> Egyption body builder
Florida takes the lead!
Wang’s final line for Hagerstown tonight:
3 IP, 4 H, 2 R/ER, 0 BB, 3 K
Seriously people, Florida has the most unbearable, disgusting, obnoxious fan base in the country. I say this as a huge Yankees fan (obviously), they are far worse than Red Sox fans. I’m not just saying this because I’m a Hurricane, fans of every other team in Florida and the SEC cannot stand them.
Basically my point is, STOP ROOTING FOR FLORIDA. They really don’t need a reason to be any more awful than they already are.
Of course if you’re a Florida fan or have some sort of vengeance against South Carolina (I really couldn’t imagine why anyone would), then this need not apply.
I like to think I’m pretty fair about damn near everything.
And I’d like to say that many college sports fans might come off worse than even Sox fans, since many of them are arrogant college-age kids who don’t know any better (even though they should).
I know you don’t say this to lambaste all Gator fans out there, but I do find the characterization a bit unfair. Look at any major university with high-profile athletic programs, and you’ll find plenty of douchebags there as well. It’s accentuated for Florida because of Tim Tebow (I, fwiw, appreciate to hell what he did for Florida football, but I refrain from any obnoxious worshipping that many Florida fans do. I do not apologize for any of the extravagant media coverage he gets, however, as that is circumstance and would be the case if there was a highly successful, God-loving star QB at any university out there).
/end rant
I have found Florida easy to root against ever since Tebow.
Gator Bait.
I literally could not agree more.
So we face Grienke and his sub 2 xFIP tomorrow…
Don’t worry, Grienke won’t be able to handle the pressure of playing in New York.
#3
What is this ‘Bunny Man’ I’m just now finding out about? Has anyone seen him at a game?
http://deadspin.com/5815827/wh.....ee-stadium
Damnit, I didn’t see your comment.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/d.....563785743/
Pffft..he’s no Disco Stu.
no doubt in my mind he drives a primered van and likes little kids, in a’catholic’ way…
aaaaaaaaaand likely posts comments to NoMaas…
LMAO you are on a roll tonight!
http://m.youtube.com/index?des.....oVnBGRIZSQ
(I found the comments entertaining, too, a bad as they are)
Puts Rebecca Black to shame. Ark Music Factory: PURE GENIUS
Ps am I the only one here who thinks the guy that calls himself Fat Usher (Patrece something ) is a creeper?
I don’t like it
Has anyone ever seen the Bunny Man of Yankees Stadium?
http://deadspin.com/5815827/wh.....ee-stadium
So…say Cashman does leave.
Where does he go?
He’s not going anywhere. He’s negotiating a new contract, one which he hopes will be Levine-proof.
I think he should hold out for the “Randy Levine Is Fired Now” clause.
No need to go that far. Personally, I’d settle for a “Once we start talking baseball, Randy has to sit in the corner or leave the room” clause. It won’t stop him from politicking against and/or undermining Cash, but Cash can play that game as well as anyone.
Cash should leave then he will realize what he’s missing
http://blogs.wsj.com/bankruptc...../?mod=e2tw
Just reading this WSJ article on sports bankruptcies and noticed 3 MLB teams have been sold in bankruptcy auctions the past 3 years.
Cubs, Rangers, and now soon the Dodgers will be added to the list.
1. Anyone else’s mind blown that they finally got Whitey Bulger after almost 2 decades? an AMAZING story going on there.
2. I am surprised we have not spent an inordinant amount of time discussing how ‘disadvantaged’ the Sox have been against those pesky NL teams, since they cannot use a DH.
fucking crybabys. lose 4 out of 6 and the sky is falling. what a bunch of assholes.
Yeah, that was pretty crazy that they got him. I’m wondering why they spent so much resources on him…I mean honestly, he was living in a shitty apartment in Santa Monica, what could he have possibly done?
http://blogs.thetimes-tribune.com/yankees/?p=10667
The must-read article of the day on Brackman, from a guy who follows him everyday. (If of course, you haven’t read it already)
For some reason I decided to rewatch The Bronx Is Burning today.
It’s interesting to see how their season went when you watch this and follow along on BRef. In August they went from 5 games back to 2 games up in 2 weeks. Winning streaks FTW.
Fuck. Gamecocks tied it. But only after a leadoff walk that can be credited to some pretty terrible ball-strike calls.
As I go to bed, here’s to hoping Prince, Braunie and the rest of the Brew Crew’s nights are just beginning
Why would he leave scared of the weekend writers?