Open Thread: Missing Bartolo


It’s been exactly 15 days since Bartolo Colon was placed on the disabled list, and I have to say I legitimately miss watching the guy pitch. At the end of the day, baseball is just a branch of the entertainment industry, and watching some fat guy in his late-30′s slime out to the mound and throw mid-90′s gas on the corners entertains me. Bartolo threw 60 pitches in a simulated game down in Tampa today, facing Slade Heathcott among others. It’s unclear if he’ll go on a rehab assignment or start next weekend against the Mets. Either way, I miss watching Colon take the mound every five days, his starts had become must see TV. I hope he comes back soon for more than one reason.

Anyway, here is tonight’s open thread. The Reds and Rays will be on ESPN2 (Leake vs. Hellickson), and that’s pretty much it. Use this thread to talk about whatever, so have at it.

Site News: Got some good news to share: we have a new weekend writer for you all to hate enjoy. His name is Matt Warden, and you’ve seen his stuff on both The Yankee Analysts and (before that) Yankeeist. You can also follow him on Twitter at @Matt_Warden. We’re happy to have Matt aboard and I’m certain you’ll enjoy his posts.

Categories : Open Thread


  1. Eric says:

    Another weekend writer to rag on? Yes!

  2. Tom Zig says:

    /complains about Matt before everyone else

  3. Tom Zig says:

    I’ve asked this on twitter, but I’ll ask here as well as I’m seeking as many opinions as possible

    Is anyone here a FiOS TV and/or internet subscriber? If so how is quality of the service and have you had any problems?

    • sangreal says:

      Stellar. No problems outside of the normal cable experience. Verizon is notorious for their bad billing system though. Amazing (symmetrical) speed and they don’t recompress their HD feeds.

      Biggest concern would be that they are out of bandwidth and can’t really add more HD channels until they implement IPTV (or start compressing channels)

    • 28 this year says:

      service is great. Billing sucks. They charged us for stuff that they said was free and pretended their commericials were wrong. We had a bad experience with their customer service and we cancelled within a month. They continued to bill us for the next six months until the Better Business Bureau stopped them. But the quality of their internet and tv and stuff was awesome but we just couldnt take the stupidity of thier billing and service department.

  4. Jimmy McNulty says:

    College World Series is also on tonight, Florida and South Carolina.

  5. Jimmy McNulty says:

    Also, the greatest thing ever for those of you who have not yet seen this:


    • first time lawng time says:

      OhmyGod. That is vile. Oh, that is disgusting.

      He probably has a hairy butt, too. Back hair doesn’t stop at the waistline, people.

      How do I know this? Common knowledge. That’s all.

      • Jimmy McNulty says:

        How is that not the most bad ass thing ever? If anything, it’s a reason to be a Twins fan.

        • first time lawng time says:

          That’s not bad ass at all. That’s hideous. First of all, it looks dumb. Second of all, if he has that much back hair in the first place, he should get it laser removed. That’s just gross.

          If you mean that in the most literal sense ever, as in his ass is probably bad, then yes I agree, because it’s probably hairy and disgusting.

          • Jimmy McNulty says:

            How is that not awesome? He’s a man, he shouldn’t be all delicate and womanly…let the man be a man. I bet that guy could down a case of Nattie Ice in an hour.

            • first time lawng time says:

              A clean back isn’t delicate- it’s just hygenic and not nasty.
              Survey all of the women you know and ask them what they think of hairy backs (kinda like that guy). Most of them will be repulsed by that.

              That guy probably doesn’t even have a woman. And if he does it probably some overweight girl named Bertha that doesn’t shave her armpits, drives a pickup truck, farts on command, and can belch the alphabet.

              Now look at a clean guy, like Orlando Bloom for example. Orlando has Miranda Kerr while that guy has Bertha. The clean guy always wins..

              Here’s a lesson: girls like guys that are clean.

              Hairy backs and butts: major turnoff.

            • first time lawng time says:

              That’s not manly; that’s barbaric.

              Maybe cavemanly…

            • pete says:

              I dunno man. I am definitely glad that I don’t have back hair. If I did (and could afford it) I would get laser. Considering all the shit we **prefer** women to do with their body hair, it’s only fair that we extend the same courtesy to them.

              It’s not about narcissism, it’s about courtesy. It’s about not grossing people out.

  6. Roger says:

    Sergio Mitre DFA by the Brewers. Over under on his return?

  7. Dave says:

    As long as his posts aren’t funny. The internet is no place for humor.

    Doom AND Gloom

  8. special kid says:

    that other guy got fired?/

  9. /Complains about the complaints about the complaints about the complaints… All preemptively!

    (Congrats to Matt, and let’s please leave that weekend writer complaining/counter-complaining stuff in the weekend posts so as not to infect the rest of the threads. Gracias in advance.)

  10. BigTimeBartolo says:

    I miss Bartolo sooooo much

  11. first time lawng time says:

    You know, I really don’t understand the hate with the weekend writers. They’re not terrible. An even if you feel they are, you shouldn’t be rude.

  12. bonestock94 says:

    Posada gave me a good lesson in small sample size this year. I was digging his grave a 5-6 weeks ago.

  13. CMP says:

    Hannah has gotten a ton of shit from people complaining about her “whimsy” columns. You really need to get a life if you’re relegated to bitching about weekend columns in a free blog.

    I don’t think people realize when you are writing 4-5 articles per day about the Yankees, every article isn’t going to be ground breaking. Overall, I think this site is a breath of fresh air in presenting differing opinions and points of view analyzing the team.

  14. Xstar7 says:


    Mike Francesa gets some pretty hysterical prank calls.

    • MikeD says:

      How does one tell the difference between a “normal” Francesa caller and a prank caller? They’re much too close to distinguish.

      • I feel like everyone who tunes into that show is a prank listener.

        • Pat D says:

          He was advocating them signing Fielder to an 8 year contract just to DH.

          I ordered my dog to sic him through the television.

          • Xstar7 says:

            “I like Inge. I like him a lot. I would be interested in Inge.”

          • He was advocating them signing Fielder to an 8 year contract just to DH.

            I’m often reminded why I’m glad I never listen to that show.

            • Pat D says:

              I was watching on YES. Does that make it better?

              Also, I wasn’t so much watching as doing chores and listening to it.

              Oh, shit, that means I was listening!

              Old habits die hard.

          • CMP says:

            Wait until this offseason and you’ll see a bunch of commenters on this site calling for the Yankees to sign Fielder too. Quite a few Yankee fans think they should sign EVERY big name free agent.

            • Pat D says:

              I wouldn’t be opposed to it if I didn’t think Fielder was bound to break down at some point over the next 8 years, the Yankees didn’t have a perfectly viable alternative already in their system, and that DH wouldn’t be needed for ARod, Jeter and Teix rest over the next 3-6 years.

            • MannyGeee says:

              FWIW if we did not have Tex, I would LOOOOVE Prince. but for like 4 years, not so much for 8..

            • The Big City of Dreams says:

              I bet you when the calls start Mike will say “the Yankees don’t need a superstar at every position. DH is a half day off for the older players. Boy typical Yankee fan they want everybody. Hey how about they get Pujols and put him in the outfield…*shakes head* This is uttah nonsense.”

              • Mike Axisa says:

                I hate the rotating DH idea because it means someone like Eduardo Nunez or Chris Dickerson or Frankie Cervelli will be in the lineup every day. Signing a DH to an eight year contract is also hilariously bad roster management, even for a team without some of the old guys the Yankees are stuck with.

      • first time lawng time says:

        I find the callers very inspiring. Take my handle, for example.

    • first time lawng time says:

      “I checked my sawces”. Lol

  15. Brandon says:

    Just a thought on Montero. Maybe he’s just a slow starter. Last year at this time he was batting .235 with only 4 home runs in 235 at bats.He ended the season batting .289 with 21 home runs in 453 at bats. So his current .287 average with 5 home runs looks pretty good to me.

  16. T-Dubs says:

    Matt’s arrival continues my very subtle attempts for RAB to relocate to central Connecticut.

  17. You’re all rooting for the Gators tongiht since USC eliminated UConn in the Super Regionals.

  18. Ryan 407 says:

    any fight fans out there? how crazy was that comeback knockout by Cheick Kongo? if he didn’t hold onto Browne’s shorts he would be riding a three fight win streak right now.

    i think Matt Mitrione makes sense as his next opponent.

  19. Sweet Dick Willie says:

    It’s unclear if he’ll go on a rehab assignment or start next weekend against the Mets

    Wait, wouldn’t a rehab assignment actually be harder?


  20. Quick question: When it says arb. eligible on the B-R page, does that mean at the beginning or end of that year’s season? That is, if it says “Joe Shmo signed through 2011 arb eligible 2012″ does that mean after this season or after next season?

  21. China Joe says:

    I have to say I’m always impressed by Dan Shaughnessy’s ability to turn every story in sports into a story about Boston.


    “The Dodgers are bankrupt…did you know that Frank McCourt once bid on the Red Sox, but we the people of Boston rose as one and denounced him as a charlatan? Truly we are the greatest fans in the world. Also, the Dodgers had the audacity to pay a large amount of money to Manny Ramirez…the amazing people of Boston shake our collective heads in disgust at the idea of a team playing a known steroid user. HARRUMPH!”

    • (reads article)

      Selig really missed the boat not letting the Dolans run the Red Sox. I’m sure that would have turned out splendidly for that ballclub. I have full faith in Charles and Jim’s ability to run a first-rate franchise.

      Scott Layden, Isiah Thomas, and Anucha Browne-Sanders

      • China Joe says:

        Perhaps they would have signed Eddy Curry to play 1st instead of trading for A-Gon…I hear that Curry kid’s got real potential.

    • Brian says:

      They are paying David Ortiz a large sum of money.

      • first time lawng time says:

        David Ortiz said he didn’t do steroids. It was vitamin supplements. You see, it very easy to get things like that mixed up.

        His word is definitely good enough me.

        • jon says:

          dont worry one of these days he will get to the bottom of that

        • MannyGeee says:

          “They pick me [to be tested for steroids] every time. I don’t know why. I don’t know if it’s because I’m a big guy, or what, but all I know is all they are going to find is a lot of rice and beans.”
          - David Ortiz in The Boston Globe, March 11, 2005

          sooooooo, yeah.

    • Owen Two says:

      Don’t read Shaughnessy, it’s bad for your eyes.
      Read this instead.

  22. Esteban says:

    Chet Haze performed this weekend. Results: Not good.

    • MikeD says:

      Lion was smart. If he attacked the man and killed him, then they would have killed the lion.

      Lion >>>>>>>> Egyption body builder

  23. Xstar7 says:

    Florida takes the lead!

  24. Pat D says:

    Wang’s final line for Hagerstown tonight:
    3 IP, 4 H, 2 R/ER, 0 BB, 3 K

  25. Kiersten says:

    Seriously people, Florida has the most unbearable, disgusting, obnoxious fan base in the country. I say this as a huge Yankees fan (obviously), they are far worse than Red Sox fans. I’m not just saying this because I’m a Hurricane, fans of every other team in Florida and the SEC cannot stand them.

    Basically my point is, STOP ROOTING FOR FLORIDA. They really don’t need a reason to be any more awful than they already are.

    • Kiersten says:

      Of course if you’re a Florida fan or have some sort of vengeance against South Carolina (I really couldn’t imagine why anyone would), then this need not apply.

      • Kramerica Industries says:

        I like to think I’m pretty fair about damn near everything.

        And I’d like to say that many college sports fans might come off worse than even Sox fans, since many of them are arrogant college-age kids who don’t know any better (even though they should).

        I know you don’t say this to lambaste all Gator fans out there, but I do find the characterization a bit unfair. Look at any major university with high-profile athletic programs, and you’ll find plenty of douchebags there as well. It’s accentuated for Florida because of Tim Tebow (I, fwiw, appreciate to hell what he did for Florida football, but I refrain from any obnoxious worshipping that many Florida fans do. I do not apologize for any of the extravagant media coverage he gets, however, as that is circumstance and would be the case if there was a highly successful, God-loving star QB at any university out there).

        /end rant

    • Brian says:

      I have found Florida easy to root against ever since Tebow.

    • Esteban says:

      Gator Bait.

    • bgeary says:

      I literally could not agree more.

  26. Brian says:

    So we face Grienke and his sub 2 xFIP tomorrow…

  27. Kiersten says:

    What is this ‘Bunny Man’ I’m just now finding out about? Has anyone seen him at a game?


  28. first time lawng time says:


    (I found the comments entertaining, too, a bad as they are)
    Puts Rebecca Black to shame. Ark Music Factory: PURE GENIUS

    Ps am I the only one here who thinks the guy that calls himself Fat Usher (Patrece something ) is a creeper?

  29. Esteban says:

    Has anyone ever seen the Bunny Man of Yankees Stadium?


  30. nick says:

    So…say Cashman does leave.

    Where does he go?

  31. Steve S. says:


    Just reading this WSJ article on sports bankruptcies and noticed 3 MLB teams have been sold in bankruptcy auctions the past 3 years.

    Cubs, Rangers, and now soon the Dodgers will be added to the list.

  32. MannyGeee says:

    1. Anyone else’s mind blown that they finally got Whitey Bulger after almost 2 decades? an AMAZING story going on there.

    2. I am surprised we have not spent an inordinant amount of time discussing how ‘disadvantaged’ the Sox have been against those pesky NL teams, since they cannot use a DH.

    fucking crybabys. lose 4 out of 6 and the sky is falling. what a bunch of assholes.

    • Jimmy McNulty says:

      Yeah, that was pretty crazy that they got him. I’m wondering why they spent so much resources on him…I mean honestly, he was living in a shitty apartment in Santa Monica, what could he have possibly done?

  33. Steve S. says:


    The must-read article of the day on Brackman, from a guy who follows him everyday. (If of course, you haven’t read it already)

  34. Pat D says:

    For some reason I decided to rewatch The Bronx Is Burning today.

    It’s interesting to see how their season went when you watch this and follow along on BRef. In August they went from 5 games back to 2 games up in 2 weeks. Winning streaks FTW.

  35. Xstar7 says:

    Fuck. Gamecocks tied it. But only after a leadoff walk that can be credited to some pretty terrible ball-strike calls.

  36. James A says:

    As I go to bed, here’s to hoping Prince, Braunie and the rest of the Brew Crew’s nights are just beginning

  37. john smith says:

    Why would he leave scared of the weekend writers?

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