Jul
13

Getting to know you, getting to know all about you

By

Which Yankee would do the best on Jeopardy? Who on the Bombers is the snazziest dresser? Loudest on the plane? Biggest card shark? Behold these answers and more in Dan Barbarisi excellent glimpse at the life of the Yankees. The Wall Street Journal scribe surveyed 18 Yankees on a variety of topics, and for once, we learn a little bit more about our favorite players. Of course, Nick Swisher and Joba Chamberlain are the most boisterous on team flights, and of course, Francisco Cervelli takes the longest to get cleaned up after games. But Mark Teixeira, brainiac? That surprised me.

The funniest part involved Jorge Posada. Named the slowest Yankee by his teammates, the DH did not take too kindly to it. “I’m not the slowest runner here. I’m just telling you right now,” he growled at Barbarisi. Plus, if you read it, you’ll find out why the Yankees reacquired Sergio Mitre and which outfielder could be a future politician. While we wait for baseball games to return, it’s a fun read.

Categories : Asides, Whimsy
  • Mister D

    Mark Teixera was raised in Baltimore, in the era of Cal Ripken, and yet he chose to idolize Don Mattingly. OF COURSE he’s a brainiac!

  • icebird753

    If only Kyle Farnsworth were still a Yankee..he would unanimously win the “who would you want on your side in a fight” question

  • tom

    Great article.

    The least surprising result was Curtis Granderson as class president/future politician. I know there’s always the risk of sounding patronizing when you refer to a black player as articulate or intelligent, but…geez…I can’t remember another player, of any ethnic group, whose post-game interviews have come close to his for conciseness and judgment — all presented with seemingly genuine amiability. People with those gifts are often propelled into leadership, whether they initially seek it or not.

    • Oscar Gamble’s ‘Fro

      I’m totally with you on Curtis, Tom. When word first dropped that he was coming to the Yanks, I immdiately thought of that classic Tribe Called Quest lyric. It just seems to fit so perfectly for the Grandy Man.

  • hogsmog

    Ok, this was good. I now respect Mitre.

    • Oscar Gamble’s ‘Fro

      He still sucks, but it would be great to keep him around for the next series against the Sox.

      And like I said in the other thread, Cervelli’s stock drops even lower.

      • CMP

        All Mitre’s shitty pitching would be forgotten if he throws a beat down on Pedroia or Youkalis.

        • Oscar Gamble’s ‘Fro

          Yup, yup, CM. I’d also give him a clean slate for laying the smack down on Big Cry Baby Ortiz. Lifetime pass if he can somehown get Beckett or Papelbon involved and open up a can of whoop ass.

        • Brian S.

          Please, please let this happen.

  • Steve

    I think the most surprising was A Rod didn’t win the best at cards category

  • Johnny Nitro

    Jorgie kinda threw Swisher under the bus there. What a bitch.

    • hogsmog

      Yeah, I have learned a lot of things this season. Most of them being ways in which Posada can be a bitch.

  • Johnny Nitro

    Which Yankee’s finger would you like to smell?

    Winner: Derek Jeter
    Runner-up: Nick Swisher
    Last place: Jorge Posada

    • http://johnsterling.blogspot.com/ Xstar7

      Which Yankees’s finger would you like to pull?

      Winner: Curtis Granderson
      Runner Up: Brett Gardner
      Last Place: Bartolo Colon

      • DCBX

        I laughed.

    • http://www.youcantpredictbaseball.com bexarama

      Last place Posada? IDK. Straight girl disclaimer, his wife’s pretty hot.

      • http://johnsterling.blogspot.com/ Xstar7

        It’s because of that rumor that Jorge pisses on his hands.

        • Mister Delaware

          (Psst … you’re ruining a nice moment.)

          • http://johnsterling.blogspot.com/ Xstar7

            Whoops

      • Sweet Dick Willie

        I think it was a reference to him peeing on his hands.

      • http://www.youcantpredictbaseball.com bexarama

        Aaaand I totally forgot about the hand peeing thing.

        • Johnny Nitro

          That’s fine. Urine is sterile anyway.

          • Mister D

            Relatively germ free, but there’s still that urea residue, which breaks down into ammonia.

            Plus its pee.

            • Mister Delaware

              There’s a Mister D???

        • MannyGeee

          OK straight up, pee pee hands or no pee pee hands, I would still give them a sniff. His wife is an absolute beauty.

  • AaronGuielWithASmile

    It all makes sense now. Sergio Mitre is bullying Joe Girardi, that’s why he keeps getting into games.

    Seriously, Girardi can let Mitre pitch in every remaining game this season as long as he gets into one brawl with Boston. That’s how badly I want to see someone kick Dustin Pedroia in the head.

  • AaronGuielWithASmile

    By the way, am I the only person who thought that the funniest part of this article was the writer’s mistaken notion that anyone would want A-Rod to be their second in a fight?

    • Johnny Nitro

      Who wouldn’t want a centaur on their side?

  • dkidd

    sergio mitre is to pitching as tie domi is to skating