Archive for Whimsy

Mar
21

Derek’s new digs

Posted by: Benjamin Kabak | Comments (18)

What do you do when you’re New York’s most eligible bachelor, making $20 million a year and with a five-bedroom, five-bathroom house in Tampa? Why, build another one, of course. That is, in fact, what Derek Jeter is doing.

According to a report on Tampa Bay Online, Jeter is constructing a seven-room, nine-bathroom, 30,875 square-foot mansion on Davis Island. The house, as TBO.com points out, is about three-quarters the size of your typical Best Buy. It’s big enough, in fact, for Derek to keep multiple girlfriends in the house.

Anyway, a cursory glance through Google Maps reveals that Derek is probably building on this vacant lot with this view of Hillsborough Bay.

I have to wonder two things though: Why will that house’s carbon footprint be? And will he make it hurricane-resistant? That’s a flooded out mansion waiting to happen. No matter; it’s good to be king.

Categories : Whimsy
Comments (18)
Mar
19

Rooting with a purpose

Posted by: Benjamin Kabak | Comments (105)

Here’s a fun one to while away the last two innings of this excruciating compelling Spring Training match-up between the Yanks and Blue Jays: Earlier today, Pete Abe wrote a short post on rooting for a player because of a shared characteristic. In the 1930s and 1940s, for example, my grandparents and a lot of their fellow New Yorkers rooted for Hank Greenberg because he’s Jewish. I’m pulling for the Pirates’ Pedro Alvarez because he and I went to the same high school, he graduated with my sister and I played baseball with him for a day when he was 14 and I was 18. So RAB readers: Which players do you root for because of some random connection? Spill the beans.

Categories : Asides, Whimsy
Comments (105)

burnettelephant

One of the publicists for Busch Gardens in Florida sent us this photo of A.J. Burnett feeding Karnaubi, a 7300-pound Asian elephant. The park has five of these endangered animals in its Nairobi area, and Burnett, looking rather thrilled, helped feed one of them with his family on Thursday.

Now, that’s all well and good, but that is also a stunningly boring caption. So RAB faithful, let’s have a caption contest. The winner will receive a copy of The Greatest Game and the undying affection of everyone on RAB. We’ll do it run-off style with a general big vote and then one or two rounds of voting with the top entries.

To be eligible for the voting and the prize, make sure to put a valid e-mail address in the e-mail field down below. We’ll leave the caption contest open through Monday night. Click the image for a larger version, and have fun.

Categories : Whimsy
Comments (99)

asteroid

Over at MLB.com’s shop, fans have the chance to buy customized replica jerseys. As the Yankee jerseys include a name on the back — contrary to tradition, of course — there is no shortage of popular snark.

MLB, though, has taken steps to combat what they view as derogatory customized jerseys, and according to CNBC’s Darren Rovell, fans can no longer purchase A-Fraud jerseys. I tried to customize and A-Roid jersey too with no luck. However, if you want A-Steroid, act now. I’m sure MLB will ban that one once they catch wind of it too. I doubt, however, that this one will ever go out of style.

Categories : Whimsy
Comments (24)

Okay, so maybe he’s not leaping a car in a single bound, but Cody Ransom’s got some ups. My sincere hope now is that after Ransom officially beats out Berroa for the utility infielder job, he goes up to him and says: “You see Angel, it’s like this. You either smoke or you get smoked…And you got smoked.”

Categories : Whimsy
Comments (34)

In 2006, Japan stunned the international baseball community when they claimed the WBC title. They’re back with a vengeance to defend their crown, and while many players — the pitchers especially — view this tournament as a potential audition for the U.S. Major Leagues, the Land of the Rising Sun is mostly concerned with capture another title. While the rehabbing Hideki Matsui won’t play in the tournament, he is wanted for it. His fellow Japanese Yankee isn’t so lucky. When asked about Kei Igawa’s omission from the team, one of the Japanese reporters assigned to the team said “They think he is not so good.” I don’t think Brian Cashman is going to voice much objection to those sentiments. (Hat tip to PeteAbe for this amusing anecdote.)

Categories : Asides, Whimsy
Comments (67)

This is pretty damn entertaining, I must say. Notable rhymes: Jeter with Weiters, “take us” with Markakis, and “Boog Powell and his meat” with Eutaw Street.

hat tip BLS

Categories : Whimsy
Comments (40)

cc-tattoos

The first pic is from Milwaukee’s final game of the regular season, when CC clinched the Crew’s first playoff berth in a quarter century with a complete game four hitter (but you know, he’s never pitched well in a big game). The second pic is from Saturday’s John Harper column. So I guess we know what CC this winter, besides losing what looks like a ton of weight.

Categories : Whimsy
Comments (49)
Feb
13

The Onion mourns A-Rod

Posted by: Benjamin Kabak | Comments (35)

Leave it up to America’s Finest News Source to nail the A-Rod/PED scandal. As part of a rather amusing set of articles that strike the right balance between mock outrage and social commentary, The Onion has published an obituary of the disgraced Yankee slugger.

“A-Rod was a person, but a much better baseball player,” a statement from the New York Yankees’ front office read in part. “We only hope that members of the press will respect our wishes for privacy during this very difficult period. We can assure you that the Yankee organization is going to be haunted by A-Rod’s passing for a very, very long time, or at least until his contract expires in 2017.”

“Though A-Rod has been taken from us, his impact on this team has been greater in the past few days than it has ever been before,” the statement continued. “It feels like he’s not even gone.”

[snip]

The loss of A-Rod comes as a shock to those in the sporting community and to baseball fans across the nation, many of whom had hoped that A-Rod—the youngest player to ever hit 500 home runs and arguably the greatest all-around baseball player of his generation—would surpass Barry Bonds’ career total of 762 home runs without resorting to the use of performance enhancing drugs, thereby restoring credibility and dignity to sports’ most cherished record.

A-Rod’s untimely end—coming as it did in the prime of his career, just as it seemed he was poised to usher in a brand-new era of baseball on the strength of his God-given physical talents alone—has forever destroyed that hope…

“I’m sure he’s in a better place,” Girardi continued. “Then again, probably not.”

The article even has a great quote from Jeter: “I never liked him. He was a jerk, a fake. The only thing he had going for him was his unlimited potential and tremendous on-field ability, but now that he’s been taken from us that really doesn’t mean anything.”

Beyond the obit, The Onion explores new nicknames for A-Rod, A-Rod’s views on A-Rod and my personal favorite: Report: Curt Schilling Has An Opinion On A-Rod.

Categories : Whimsy
Comments (35)

On March 3, the United States’ representatives to the World Baseball Classic will square off against the Yankees in Tampa. While it won’t be weird to see most of the U.S. team on the other side of the ball, it will be quite strange to see Derek Jeter facing his own team. The Yanks’ captain will be battling his teammates, and while Derek hopes none of the Yanks’ hurlers bust him up and in, he better watch out for that Jorge Posada character behind the plate.

Categories : Asides, Whimsy
Comments (25)