Carl Pavano Archives - Page 5 of 8

Carl Pavano has a cavernous vagina

June 1, 2008 by Joe Pawlikowski 1 Comment

Carl Pavano has a cavernous vagina. That is all.

Hell has frozen over

May 27, 2008 by Benjamin Kabak 18 Comments

While the Yankees and the Orioles are slugging it out in Baltimore and Jorge Posada is going through rehab in Extended Spring Training, the AP reports that ~~pigs are flying~~ Carl Pavano has thrown 35 pitches off of a half-mound. And he did it without injuring himself. What are the odds that Pavano wins the game that clinches the AL East for the Yanks this year?

Remembering number 45

April 16, 2008 by Benjamin Kabak 17 Comments

Ah, Carl Pavano, the forgotten punchline to the Yankees’ efforts the last four years. Remember when he started Opening Day last season? That was quite the sight.

Anyway, Carl Pavano, the Rajah of Rehab, is still on the Yankees payroll, and today, Lisa Kennelly of the Newark Star-Ledger checked in with Carl. As you would expect, his teammates don’t miss him, and he’s trying hard — really hard, he says — to build his arm back up:

In his time with the Yankees, he’s pitched in only 19 games, going 5-6. He missed all of 2006 and is still a ways off from throwing off a mound this year, as he focuses on getting his surgically repaired elbow up to strength with long-tossing.

Aside from watching the Yankees games on TV, Pavano doesn’t stay in contact with any of his teammates. When asked if he would visit the team during their series with the Tampa Bay Rays this week, he shook his head and said, “no chance.”

“They’ve got things to focus on right now,” Pavano said. “To go in there after not being there for a month? I’m not going to interrupt what they’ve got going on. It’s just not where I need to be right now.”

If Pavano is able to make any starts this year, it will be almost certainly be more of an audition for other teams than to prove anything to the Yankees. The team has a fifth-year option on his contract, but there is no chance they will prolong what is already one of the worst free-agent signings of GM Brian Cashman’s tenure.

I’d say that the chances of Carl Pavano making a start in the Bronx this season are slim-to-none. Unless the Yankees are way up or way out, they’re not going to do Pavano any favors by showcasing him.

Kennelly’s profile is top-notch. It really wraps itself around the way Carl’s story has been on one hand pathetic and on the other hand absurd. Soon, the Carl Pavano Era will be over in the Bronx. I’m sure Brian Cashman is counting down the days.

Ensberg added to 40-man roster

March 22, 2008 by Mike 15 Comments

Via PeteAbe, the Yanks have added Morgan Ensberg to the 40-man roster and will pay him $1.75M to come off the bench and start against tough lefties this year. Carl Pavano lands on the 60-day DL to make room for Ensberg, who is out options and will NOT wear number 21. This basically means that the bench is set, with Ensberg joining Wilson Betemit, Jose Molina and whoever sits between the Shelley-Matsui-Giambi-Damon group on a given day. I suppose that Shelley could be shipped to Triple-A with a Cody Ransom-type taking his spot on the bench, but I think it’s unlikely. I like the move; Ensberg is a class act and one helluva complimentary player.

The Organizational Depth Chart has been updated accordingly.

Carl Pavano throws, does not get injured

February 8, 2008 by Benjamin Kabak 21 Comments

Carl Pavano showed up in Tampa and had a 12-minute catch from 90 feet, according to the Associated Press. Wouldn’t it be ironic if Pavano were to arrive in the Bronx after the All Star Break to spell the Big Three now and then as they near their innings cap?

The agent is not the problem

December 11, 2007 by Benjamin Kabak 15 Comments

Carl Pavano has signed with a new agent for the fourth time in four years. Considering that Pavano has himself a cool $39.95 million for making 19 starts across four seasons, I don’t think his agent is really to blame.

The Yankees have a sense of humor

December 9, 2007 by Benjamin Kabak 11 Comments

I can’t really criticize the Yankees for the Carl Pavano contract. In 2004, everyone wanted a piece of Pavano, and the Yanks were bidding against the Red Sox, Tigers and Orioles, to name a few of the teams involved. Who knew that Carl Pavano, who had just thrown back-to-back 200-inning seasons, would utterly break down?

This week, when the Yankees officially welcome Alex Rodriguez and Mariano Rivera back into the fold, the Carl Pavano Era will come to an ignoble end. The Yankees are going to release Pavano and sign him to a Minor League deal for the purposes of rehab and insurance.

That’s not the funny part though. Here’s the funny part, courtesy of George King:

Pavano, 31, can’t return to Arizona because his questionable work ethic ticked off fitness guru Brett Fischer last winter. Pavano is leaning toward accepting the Yankees’ minor-league offer so he can have a place to rehab his elbow. By keeping him in the system, the Yankees protect themselves from Pavano healing ahead of schedule (pigs have a better chance of flying) and pitching effectively for another team.

So basically, the Yankees are worried that Pavano, whose work ethic is so bad that a fitness expert won’t take him on as a client, may recover faster than they anticipate? And I have a bridge to sell you.

The Yanks got 19 starts and 111.1 innings from Carl Pavano for their $39.95 million. They have to keep him in the Minors to collect the insurance on his contract. But do they really have to feed us this line? I guess the Yanks really do have that sense of humor.