Jul
15

Some people won’t miss Yankee Stadium…

By Benjamin Kabak

…and those people are mainly visiting team players. Alan Schwarz checks in with a few Major Leaguers who won’t miss the amenities and smells offered up by an 85-year-old stadium. The money quote is, of course, All Star Catcher Jason Varitek’s: “Especially when it rains, the smell that comes up through the drainage system is not pretty. It affects your sinuses, I’ll tell you that much.” I guess he can’t fight sewage smells and sinus infections with his mask on.

Posted on Tuesday, July 15th, 2008 at 10:00 am in Asides.

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35 Comments »

raymagnetic ®™ says:

Is he kidding me? His home ballpark in Fenway and he has the nerve to talk about the Stadium? If you live in a glass house don’t throw stones!

mustang says:

WOW !!!!!
Truer Words Have Never Been Spoken

 
 
Bill N says:

Maybe that is why he is batting .220 and yes fenway park the same stadium that had food stands shut down by the health inspectors last month…. stay classy boston

B says:

To quote some Yankees fans I met from Boston at a game, “I’d rather go to a Stadium than to a Park!”

 
 
E-ROC says:

His intangibles were showing in those quotes.

 
A.D. says:

The sewage system really isn’t going to change….thats more of a NYC thing

 

You know what affects my sinuses? Watching no-talent ass clowns embarrass themselves at the plate while 20 more deserving players sit at home.

Varitek should keep his fat mouth shut. Stop speaking and go back to knob-polishing all the ML players you were blowing in order to get into this game that you have no right to be playing in.

Ben K. says:

Jason Varitek is going to win the All Star Game MVP just to spite us.

He can join the proud ranks of Cal Ripken Jr., Jeff Conine, Sandy Alomar, Julio Franco, and Terry Steinbach as the All Star Game’s “MVKSP… oaGTTDCaWSHBTITFP, BLIFaTORWGAUaLaMUITZaWRfHaH, ETtSWTtFTIwTTaDaD

(Most Valuable Kinda-Shitty Player… of a Game That Totally Doesn’t Count and Who Shouldn’t Have Been There In The First Place, But Lucked Into Facing a Temporarily Overrated Reliever Who Got Amped Up and Left a Meatball Up In The Zone and Was Rewarded for Hitting a Homer, Even Though the Starter Who Threw the First Two Innings was Ten Times as Dominant and Deserving.)

Andy In Sunny Daytona says:

I wonder what Peter Gammons would say about Varitek’s quote. hhhmmm?

In Jason Varitek’s defense, the current Yankee Stadium, which was drastically renovated in the 1970’s, is lacking many amenities.

For example, the shower stalls in the Stadium are quite cramped, and Jason is used to having the extra space in the Fenway Park showers to shave his legs, wax his bikini area, and trim his bush. It’s this smooth, hairless feel that’s allowed Varitek to become the All-Star catcher that he is.

Similarly, Dustin Pedroia and Jon Papelbon have told me that they’re a little uncomfortable that the Yankees clubhouse doesn’t serve Schmitt’s Gay. And Manny Ramirez isn’t fond of the House that Ruth Built because all the 65-year-old guys who work for the Stadium are spry and fiesty, and thus harder to beat up. Hopefully, these inconveniences won’t spill over and affect their stellar play… after all, “This Time, It Counts.”

For Diamond Cutters, I’m Peter Gammons, ESPN.

Andy In Sunny Daytona says:

Thanks man. I give that 2 Black fists Up!

If you’ve got a big thirst, AND you play for the Red Sox, reach for a tall, cold bottle of Schmitt’s Gay.

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Whitey14 says:

Jesus, I searched and searched for a smart-assed comeback for that post, but there is none fitting. You win. That was officially the funniest post I’ve ever read. You clinched it with the Schmitt’s Gay Beer reference…..

Nice job ;-)

 

Whitey, I live to entertain. I learned my comic sensibilities from the best:

Bud Bundy.

I’ll try to work in Petchow Rat Poison into the next one.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Henry Chinaski says:

Varitek is all heart… what a player- can’t you tell, he’s a white guy with facial hair & he’s red sox so he’s gotta be the heart & soul of the team, right? getting REALLY sick of this sh*t…

 
mustang says:

What’s up with all the negativity coming from Boston players? Shit they are in first place and are the defending champions.
At least be respectful of your surrounding.

Alan says:

Welcome to the Yankees-Red Sox rivalry.

Bullshit. I don’t see Bobby Abreu or Jorge Posada talking about how Fenway is a dump; I don’t see Joba Chamberlain putting himself in the same conversation as Pedro.

You can’t just chalk it up to “rivalry” if the idiotic, self-aggrandizing comments are only coming from one side.

 
mustang says:

I understand that but a note to Boston players the All-Star Game in the last year of Yankees Stadium might not be the best time to bring up how the place smells or put your name up to close.
I only hope when they close down Fenway Park that the Yankees players have a little more class.

mustang says:

It’s almost liked their little kids trying to steal the spotlight.

Whitey14 says:

If he’d replied to the question “No Comment” I bet you’d all be calling him gutless and a coward for dodging it…..how about crapping on the reporter who asked him the question? Probably Jim Gray ;-)

mustang says:

Your right it was set up question, but no comment would at least shown some class.

Whitey14 says:

Can’t argue with that ;-)

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pete c. says:

Is it me or does anyone else think too much is being made about Boston players being in the home clubhouse? The Hartford Courant made a big deal about it over the weekend, and last night the bimbo fox had out on the field asked Ortiz what he thought about being in the Yankee clubhouse.

Sidney El Panson says:

we should make them change in the ladies’ room.

Whitey14 says:

They tried, but jeter and arod were having private time in there ;-)

…with the wives and girlfriends of Varitek, Papelbon, ManRam, Youkillis, and Drew. (And possibly Pedroia’s boyfriend.)

They were able to keep their amazing stamina going to please the ladies by borrowing some of David Ortiz’s HGH.

Whitey14 says:

And some of his penis too….but I’m just guessing

Whitey14 says:

…and therre’s no way Youkilis has a girlfriend…there’s just no way…

 
 
 
 
 
 
Sidney El Panson says:

That piece of crap wishes he could call Yankee Stadium his home. Just like the rest of them, he’ll be begging to play for us when they don’t want him anymore. We’ll never want him, though, not even for the photo-op.

 
Dylan says:

“I guess he can’t fight sewage smells and sinus infections with his mask on.”
Beautiful.

 
Travis G. says:

has Varitek ever smelled Fenway Park?

 
scott says:

maybe Varitek is really smelling his rotting noodle arm

Whitey14 says:

He’s too used to that smell for it to affect him anymore ;-)

 
 
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