Mar
13

Report: Trouble brewing for Bernie

By

As swan songs go, Bernie Williams‘ efforts in the WBC haven’t been what he wanted. While he was internationally walked a few days ago, his play in the field and on the base paths nearly cost Puerto Rico a key game against the upstart Netherlands team. Now, a woman in Puerto Rico has filed a complaint against Williams, alleging that the former Yankee hit her and took her camera while at a nightclub early Thursday morning. Police are investigating, and I hope they find evidence to clear Bernie. He was always one of my favorites, and I’d hate to see him go out like this.

Categories : Asides
  • http://www.bronxbaseballdaily.com Bronx Baseball Daily

    That’s not going to help his album sales.

    • Joe R

      Sure it will. It gives him street cred.

      • KW

        Can you imagine if Bernie starting dropping mix-tapes?

        • Mike Pop

          IETC.

          • http://evilempire20.com/ Ryan S.

            God dammit I still can’t figure out what “IETC” means. Can someone cure my ignorance?

            • http://www.riveraveblues.com Joseph P.

              I enjoyed this comment.

              • A.D.

                I think typing it out is better, really shows one cares.

                • Chris

                  It all depends on how much you enjoyed the comment.

                • http://evilempire20.com/ Ryan S.

                  In my opinion, if you didn’t enjoy the comment enough to write out the complete sentence in the first place, its not worth noting.

                • http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/CRsmithT1.jpg tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

                  “In my opinion, if you didn’t enjoy the comment enough to write out the complete sentence in the first place, its not worth noting.”

                  IDNETC

            • Mike Pop

              I enjoyed this comment.

              There is also this one right here.

              RSIAIB.

              Ryan S. is an ignorant bastard.

              So that will clear up confusion for the next time you see one of those.

              • http://evilempire20.com/ Ryan S.

                Yes, something tells me that RSIAIB will become a popular one. I’m a huge fan of self-degradation so bring on the humble pie.

                • Mike Pop

                  Heh. Just being an ass.

                • http://evilempire20.com/ Ryan S.

                  Haha I know buddy, its all good. Don’t worry, I’ll be sure to return the favor once football season starts up again.

                • Mike Pop

                  Hah. It will be the other way around.

                • http://evilempire20.com/ Ryan S.

                  Hey how did you feel about T.O. getting released? I think it was the right move by the Boys.

                • Mike Pop

                  Not a big deal to me. I shed a tear or two at first but now I don’t care too much. Even though he is a dick, I’ve always been a TO fan. Whatever, I like Austin and want to see what Hurd can do. Miles Austin—Looks like A-Rod.

                  http://cache.deadspin.com/asse.....nSmile.jpg

                • http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/CRsmithT1.jpg tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

                  All of this could easily be cleared up if we just posted the damn RAB Glossary/Compendium.

                  IETC
                  ICWUDT
                  B-Jobber
                  Varitekian
                  Ponsnerian
                  Nails Krzyzewski
                  Gritt Gritner
                  Hacky McHeadfirstslide
                  Phil Hughes is not Chinese
                  My posts are pretty much for the intelligent fans
                  You can’t make lemons with lemonade
                  Pencilnecked little beancounter
                  Creepy and effeminate
                  Austin Jackson is uninspiring
                  WHY THE FUCK IS MY BURRITO TAKING THIS LONG TO COOK IN THIS MICROWAVE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
                  I saw it with my own eyes
                  Olney thinks he’d be a good fit
                  The Cashman Hate Template
                  It’s a game of skill, deception, honor and deceit.
                  CASHMAN YOU THE SUX0R!!!!!1!!!11!!!
                  Alex Cora wins ballgames
                  Clearly, that’s a shot at Jeter

                  What did I leave out?

                • http://evilempire20.com/ Ryan S.

                  HAH you’re kinda right. Yeah Miles Austin has some potential … and you just gotta help Roy Williams hasn’t lost his (potential, that is.) Jason Garrett is the dude that needs to turn it around, more than any actual player.

                • http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/CRsmithT1.jpg tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

                  +
                  Bernie Williams was the most feared hitter of his generation

                • http://evilempire20.com/ Ryan S.

                  TSJC: there’s got to be some kind of Gammons-related meme out there, right?

                • http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/CRsmithT1.jpg tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

                  Ah, yes, my old:

                  “For Diamond Cutters, I’m Peter Gammons, ESPN.”

                • http://evilempire20.com/ Ryan S.

                  Also, don’t forget the sabermetric memes like:

                  -Backup your statements with statistics and analysis

                  -Go make love to your spreadsheets, nerd!

                • http://actyankee.blogspot.com Matt

                  Bernie Williams was the most feared hitter of his generation

                  Well based on this report…

                • http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/CRsmithT1.jpg tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

                  Oh, and:

                  “Mo it is written, Mo it shall be done, Mosanna, Mosanna, Mosanna in the highest”

                  And we’ve got to do something for Melvin Croussett. My favorite Melvin line ever was:

                  “Melvin took steroids once. They made him weaker.”

                • http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/CRsmithT1.jpg tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

                  Yup, two more good ones, Ryan.

                • http://evilempire20.com/ Ryan S.

                  and we can’t leave out the most important thing that exists in baseball:

                  TEH 8TH INNING!!!1!1ONE!!!ELEVENTY111!!!

                • http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/CRsmithT1.jpg tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

                  True Yankee©®™

                • http://evilempire20.com/ Ryan S.

                  :::head explode:::

                  Also, that awesome Mike Mussina facepalm pic.

                • http://evilempire20.com/ Ryan S.

                  “_____ says hello”

                • A.D.

                  You missed Lohudian

                • http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/CRsmithT1.jpg tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

                  Damn, how could I forget facepalm?

                • http://actyankee.blogspot.com Matt

                  Ridiculous Upside.
                  Gamer.
                  Gardbrera/Cabretta.
                  Gardson.
                  Jacksner.

                • http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/CRsmithT1.jpg tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

                  Personally, A.D., I prefer the noun “LoHuddite” over the adjective “LoHuddian”, because it more closely resembles the noun “Luddite”, meaning “one who opposes technical or technological change”.

                  Just my two cents.

                  Oh, and:
                  “Let me Google that for you”

                  ———–

                  Keep ‘em coming, people!

                • http://actyankee.blogspot.com Matt

                  Instant Rimshot
                  Instant Crickets

                • http://www.riveraveblues.com Ben K.

                  [Insert "keep comments on topic" rant here.]

                  It fits this thread in more ways than one.

                • A.D.

                  circle of trust

                • A.D.

                  Britton-gate

                • http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/CRsmithT1.jpg tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

                  [Insert "keep comments on topic" rant here.]
                  It fits this thread in more ways than one.

                  Touché.

                  AD – I don’t remember the circle of trust meme. Fill me in?
                  (That’s what SHE said!)

                • A.D.

                  The “Circle of Trust” is a reference to those relievers that Joe Torre would actually bring out of the bullpen (also referred to as “Torre Guys”), regardless of how many innings they’ve actually worked, or if its logical to do so.

                • jsbrendog

                  please use the replt to comment button on the right. it makes the whole conversaiton easier to follow and mroe fluid

                  h/t to mondesi

                • jsbrendog

                  to the cirlce of trust thing came QuanGorMo did it not?

                • http://evilempire20.com/ Ryan S.

                  The 4 Rings Club

                • jsbrendog

                  just make a thread where we can list them and make our own compendium or glossary of RAB terms

                • http://evilempire20.com/ Ryan S.

                  One of the more undervalued memes IMO:

                  I’d do that in a cocaine heartbeat.

                • http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/CRsmithT1.jpg tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

                  Gotcha.

                  Yes, JSB, Mondesi’s reply line should be in the Glossary as well, as should Jack’s screencap of the reply button. Anyone have a link to that? All I can find is the old one:
                  http://i435.photobucket.com/al.....Button.jpg

                • http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/CRsmithT1.jpg tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

                  just make a thread where we can list them and make our own compendium or glossary of RAB terms

                  That might be a good idea, then we can democratically decide on the exact wordings and definitions…

                • http://www.riveraveblues.com Ben K.

                  Democracy? Who said anything about running a democracy?

                  I think we’ve been accused of being socialist. So yeah. We’re socialist.

                • http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/CRsmithT1.jpg tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

                  That’s right, the socialist meme. The classic “Mike/Ben/Joe is restricting my annoying dialogue by making me adhere to their posted commenting guidelines, hence, they’re the Soviet Politburo!!!” Never gets old.

                  That made me think of our boy Robert Goulet, remember him? Didn’t he get banned for saying some off the wall personal attacks against one of you guys? Peruse if you don’t.

                  http://riveraveblues.com/2009/.....ent-255154

                  (Bonus points for the “Fantasy Football Name Drop” meme making an appearance in that thread…)

                • http://evilempire20.com/ Ryan S.

                  TSJC, I think you got this one from a Jim Carrey movie, right?

                  BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP

                  Or however the fuck you’d spell it.

                • http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/CRsmithT1.jpg tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

                  BEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUU-
                  WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP!

                  http://www.funnyordie.com/vide.....n-burgundy

                • jsbrendog

                  aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaafternoon delight.

                  yeah i got some paperwork i gotta go take care of….

  • A.D.

    Weird thing for Bernie to do, unless that picture was particularly damning.

    • Jeremy

      He must have been roiding up at the time. Trying to make a comeback, Kenny Powers style.

  • Will

    From the sound of things, it appears as if Bernie may have pushed an invasive camera aside and made contact with the woman. If so, it really doesn’t strike me as a big deal, nor do I think it will impact Bernie’s legacy in any way.

  • Jeremy

    There goes Bernie, drawing attention to himself again. The Yankees will be better off without him this April.

    • A.D.

      Cancer for the Puerto Rico team!!!1!!

      • http://evilempire20.com/ Ryan S.

        Seriously. I bet he taught Manny and A-Rod everything they know.

        • http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/CRsmithT1.jpg tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

          Too bad he didn’t teach them how to be a “feared” hitter like he was.

          DAMN! Forgot to add that one to the Glossary list. One sec, lemme scroll up…

  • dane bramage

    I don’t believe it.

  • Bo

    Go out like this? He retired years ago

    • http://evilempire20.com/ Ryan S.

      Nope. Bernie never officially retired.

  • steve (different one)

    TRUE YANKEE!!1!!

    • Mike Pop

      I agree, Steve. This is news? All Yankees beat up women.

      • steve (different one)

        except for Sabathia. he is too exhausted from his previous workload to raise his arm. it was proven by his poor spring training outing.

        • http://www.riveraveblues.com Joseph P.

          John Harper isn’t getting nearly enough shit for that column.

          • http://evilempire20.com/ Ryan S.

            The more that traditional sports reporters try to make up sensationalist BS to sell more papers, the more they lose their credibility. Its a vicious cycle and as more and more of the younger generations find alternative news sources that bring up a much more fair and balanced view point, the more no one will give a rat’s ass about what guys like John Harper have to say.

          • http://actyankee.blogspot.com Matt

            The second line of that article:

            Getting smacked around in early March is practically a rite of spring for veteran pitchers, and hardly cause for concern.

            As soon as I read that I thought: “Yep. So why are you writing this, Harper?” and stopped reading.

            • http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/CRsmithT1.jpg tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

              “Getting smacked around in early March is practically a rite of spring for veteran pitchers, and hardly cause for concern. But, I’ve got an 800 word count quota to fill and I’m too thickheaded and unimaginative to think of a real baseball story to talk about and too clueless to actually analyze anything intelligently, so buckle yourself in while I waste the next 7 to 14 minutes of your life, depending on your reading speed.”

      • http://liberalmusings.wordpress.com Pablo Zevallos

        That is a shot at Derek Jeter.

  • jsbrendog

    well at least bernie is still winning hitting titles.

  • pat

    DOES BERNIE WILLIAMS HAVE TO CHOKE A BITCH?!?!?!

    • http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/CRsmithT1.jpg tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

      IETC

  • Mike Pop
  • Jeremy

    Bernie goes boom?

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