Sunday Night Open Thread

August 5, 2012 by Michael Axisa 168 Comments

Nick Swisher — Why would you pay money to have that made? (AP Photo/Kathy Willens)

Pretty solid win for the Yankees today, who have won just six of their last 16 games but also three of their last four. Glass half full or glass half empty? Your choice. Either way, here is tonight’s open thread. The ESPN Sunday Night Game is in St. Louis for Brewers-Cardinals (Estrada vs. Lohse), plus the Olympics are on and there’s an NFL Preseason Game being played for you folks with the NFL Network. Talk about those games or anything else here.

Knoxvillain

Half full I say. Just a little slump. Nothing to worry about. The division is over since the Yankees have it locked up.
- TomH
  
  Fantastic, nearly 61 years to the day, in memory of Charlie Dressen’s “The Giants is dead.”
Dino Velvet

Is is better if the Yanks finish with the 1st or 2nd best record in the AL?

If they’re the #1 seed they face Oakland or the Angels.

If they’re the #2 seed they face the Pale Hose.
- Get Phelps Up
  
  I think the Yankees can beat any opponent, but I’d prefer the #2 seed only so they know who they’re going to play and don’t have to stay up until midnight waiting for the WC game to end and then possibly have to fly all the way across the country for a game the next day.
  - commerce
    
    I’ve been on a Yankee list since 1998…this Q comes up every year. It never works out the way one wants it except if we have a chance to play the Twins. A great example of over-thinking…play whomever is in front of you. Then beat their butts!
    - whozat
      
      Given that none of us are actually playing, this comment is completely irrelevant. Really just one fan asking other fans who they think the Yankees match up better against.
  - Need Pitching & Hitting
    
    There’s an off day in between, but the travel would still suck.
jjyank

I saw this on facebook and I had to share it.

Disclaimer: Not safe for…well, anything.
- jjyank
  
  It would really help if posted the link, huh? Again, not safe at all. Keep women and small children away from this link:
  
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZE4onosEwE
  - Kempire Strikes Back
    
    People like this are why no one likes New Jersey.
    - jjyank
      
      Most of New Jersey isn’t like that. But it’s still hilarious.
      - Kempire Strikes Back
        
        True. But I believe in the idea that a chain is only as strong as it’s weakest link.
        
        jjyank
        
        *shrug*
        
        As a NJ native, I find it funny as well. View it in a vacuum.
        
        Paul VuvuZuvella
        
        ah. the dumming down of America. Seems in full swing, no?
        
        Typical MIT Nerd
        
        That explains everything. The armpit of America produces it’s fair share of sweaty noxious fumes.
        
        jjyank
        
        Except I grew up in a beautiful area and the 4th richest county in the entire country. Every comment you make colors you even more dumb.
        
        Knoxvillain
        
        The best part is MIT Nerd is from Detroit or New Orleans.
        
        jjyank
        
        I double checked, and the county I grew up in is #5 in the country now, I apologize. But in the top 12, NJ has THREE counties in the wealthiest county in the country group. So TMITN’s “armpit of America” nonsense just proves how stupid he really is.
        
        Knoxvillain
        
        Are you calling an MIT Nerd stupid? Balls of steel, man. Balls of steel.
        
        jjyank
        
        I’ve called him stupid before, and by god, I’ll do it again. It’s not that hard, really.
        
        Paul VuvuZuvella
        
        You must be from NY. Only NY’ers use that term because any way you leave NY to go to NJ, you are forced to drive through a shitswamp. The state is actually kind of beautiful. I’ve lived there twice. I’d live there again. It’s called the Garden State for a reason. Drive another 10 miles and see for yourself.
Typical MIT Nerd

Glass half empty: Garcia is horrid. 9 baserunners in 5 innings against one of the worst offenses in baseball.

Why the hell is he still on this team?

Oh and Ichiro needs to be DFA’d at this point. He’s finished. I’d rather watch Dickerson or Melky. Dickerson would give more.

Seriously, between Ibanez, Jones, Garcia, Ichiro, and Martin this team has a whole lot of suck. Gotta love the sub-.800 OPS from the platoon DH! The Rangers are going to kick our asses once again for an early exit in October.
- jjyank
  
  Melky Mesa would be better at the MLB level? I stopped reading right there.
  - Typical MIT Nerd
    
    Right, cause Ichiro’s offense is really impressive!
    - jjyank
      
      And Mesa could K in every plate appearance for the rest of the year! So much better!
      - Typical MIT Nerd
        
        At least we know you didn’t pass reading comprehension. Where do I say Mesa “would be better”?
        
        jjyank
        
        You said that’s you’d rather watch Mesa. That’s nice. I guess you’d rather watch strikeouts?
        
        Typical MIT Nerd
        
        Hey, look at that! You CAN read!
        
        jjyank
        
        And you can be stupid! Amazing…but not really.
    - http://www.riveraveblues.com Mike Axisa
      
      No one said it was. Sweet strawman.
      - Typical MIT Nerd
        
        So why, pray tell, is he on the team? Dickerson is clearly better in every category. And I like Mesa’s chances. How much worse could he be?
        
        (which was my point, unacknowledged by the trolls here).
        
        http://www.riveraveblues.com Mike Axisa
        
        Mesa? A ton. Had the one great year in Tampa but otherwise hasn’t hit except for when he’s repeated a level.
        
        Dickerson might be better, might not. Probably a wash, not really worth the argument for ~55 games worth of the season.
        
        Typical MIT Nerd
        
        For Mitchell he is. Middling arm or not, he was a piece. What is Ichiro providing that Wise wasn’t?
        
        http://www.riveraveblues.com Mike Axisa
        
        Wise wasn’t going to keep that pace up, you should know that. Ichiro going forward is a much better bet to remain productive, especially since so much of his value is tied to his defense and baserunning.
        
        Typical MIT Nerd
        
        Now you’re left to argue defense and baserunning? As you said, alot of people have been taking the extra base on Ichiro. He’s a .640 OPS hitter for two years now. No amount of defense and baserunning is going to make up for that (though we could test that theory next year with Gardner).
        
        Knoxvillain
        
        Do you really think Wise is that type of player? He is a shuttle bus rider for a reason. No offense to Wise, but he won’t be starting in the All-Star game anytime soon.
        
        Kempire Strikes Back
        
        veteran. presents.
        
        Learn them. Love them.
        
        jjyank
        
        “Unacknowledged by the trolls here”
        
        Except I did, above. How much worse could he be? Well, he could strikeout in every appearance. And considering his tendencies and his lack of MLB experience, that could happen.
- Alkaline
  
  Well then why even watch at this point? The Yanks might as well get a head start on the offseason and just go home. The 2011 Cards and 2010 Giants should have just forfeited all their games at this point of the year, too….
  - Kempire Strikes Back
    
    Being an MIT nerd ain’t what it used to be. After all, this guy graduated from MIT with high honors:
    
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v.....ata_player
- Need Pitching & Hitting
  
  I’m starting to think MIT is very overrated.
  - jjyank
    
    I’m starting to think he never went to college at all.
    - Get Phelps Up
      
      I’m starting to think he never finished high school.
      - jjyank
        
        i’m starting to think he never got out of elementary school.
        
        jjyank
        
        I’m starting to think he flunked pre-school…
        
        Typical MIT Nerd
        
        Hey, look at you, talking to yourself! How cute!
        
        jjyank
        
        Hey, look at you! Making dumb comments? So cute!
        
        Get Phelps Up
        
        What happened to my comment here?
        
        jjyank
        
        No idea, but I saw it. And Typical Kindergarden Nerd responded me without seeing it. So cute!
        
        http://www.riveraveblues.com Mike Axisa
        
        The best part is that every commenter eventually reverts back to their normal conversation tendencies, so you can tell who they are even when they change handles and IPs.
        
        jjyank
        
        Wait, are you saying that TMIT has another handle? I’m confused.
        
        http://www.riveraveblues.com Mike Axisa
        
        Eh nothing, regret mentioning it.
        
        Robinson Tilapia
        
        Of course. It’s hard to keep up a ruse for long.
        
        Paul VuvuZuvella
        
        yeah, always have to remember who you told what.
  - Pasta Stumbling Sojo
    
    His argument about Showalter the other day was made based on completely made up facts.
    
    But based on the many people I know from MIT, the main reason he’s not typical is that he cares about sports.
    - Typical MIT Nerd
      
      Oh really, you mean when the geniuses here wanted to highlight the difference between the 91 and 92 Yankees? But sure that was made up.
    - http://www.riveraveblues.com Mike Axisa
      
      Manager of the century, dude. Manager of the century. Heaven forbid he actually wins something one of these years.
      - Typical MIT Nerd
        
        You were using Girardi’s MOY (when his team was under .500) for proof of what exactly? Your own ego?
        
        http://www.riveraveblues.com Mike Axisa
        
        You asked what he did without a $200M payroll and I told you.
        
        Typical MIT Nerd
        
        You told me he won an award…with a sub-.500 team. What happened to your standard for evidence?
        
        Showalter, by contrast, has made every team better. Forget the titles, he deserves more credit than Torre and the immortal Brenley. Perhaps you’re too young to remember the Yankees from 90 to 91 to 92 to 93 to 94? That’s when all the magic happened. They would have won the title in 1994.
        
        Knoxvillain
        
        Were you in the special class in school? How could Showalter deserve more credit than Torre?
        
        Showalter rings: 0
        Torre rings: 0
        
        Showalter’s chance at the HOF: 0%
        Torre’s chance at the HOF: 100%
        
        Showalter left the Yankees when they were starting to play well again. Torre made sure they did. I’m not sure what Showalter did to help the Yankees win the World Series in 1996 and from 1998-2000 since he didn’t manage them.
        
        Typical MIT Nerd
        
        Did you watch the Yankees from 1990 to 1994? From this comment, imma guess not.
        
        Meanwhile, who did Torre develop? He was the manager for how long? Who were his players? He showed up and Mo and Bernie and O’Neill and Pettitte were already who they would be. Jeter was already otherworldly. Even then, Girardi gets more credit for improving Jeter’s defense than Torre gets for anything. Then there’s Jorge, who Torre actively held back for *years* in favor of a far inferior catcher.
        
        In all his time, Torre didn’t develop one player to match any of those. He didn’t develop one starter or reliever. Showalter doesn’t get all that credit, but he clearly knows how to bring a young team along. He’s done it three times now. Meanwhile, what did Torre was completely exposed when he got to the Dodgers.
        
        Knoxvillain
        
        Jeter was already otherworldly? He barely played under Showalter and has played most of his career under Torre to this day, but Showalter deserves the credit? I can’t comprehend this.
        
        Mo was already who he would be? He was almost traded because he had no value at the time.
        
        The Dodgers? Shouldn’t you blame McCourt and his failure to be a good owner get more blame then Torre? It’s not his fault the Dodgers couldn’t field a good team.
        
        If you wanna play that, then Torre molded Melky, Cano, Robertson, Wang (even though his injury ended his career), Hughes, Kennedy, and more players. That makes no sense at all.
        
        jjyank
        
        I retract my comment about you not graduating kindergarden, and amend that to you’re a cranky old mean “get off my lawn” type. Also one that never went to MIT.
        
        Typical MIT Nerd
        
        Mo was almost traded after 1995? Do you even bother to check your facts before you type your bull?
        
        Torre gets no credit for Jeter. Kid showed and played. But if it were up to Torre he would have started Fernandez. He said so.
        
        Mattingly has done much better with the same Dodgers.
        
        Way to list the middling players. Cano is the only above average of the bunch and even then he’s thrived more when Torre left.
        
        Knoxvillain
        
        Mo was nothing in 1995. It was also a much different Dodger team than it is now. Kershaw, a productive Kemp, Ellis, Ramirez, and more players.
        
        Kennedy didn’t win 21 games last year with a sub 3 ERA? Melky isn’t one of the best players in baseball right now? Wang wasn’t above average? Robertson isn’t above average?
        
        Geez, dude.
        
        Robinson Tilapia
        
        He’s pulling our leg. This has to be for attention. There’s no way you can stand behind such misinformation unless you know it’s not true, but want to rile people up with it anyway.
        
        This must be what allowing people to be the kind of fans they want to be means.
        
        Robinson Tilapia
        
        The Showalter teams were better than the “Stump” Merrill teams. Agreed.
        
        To say that Buck deserves more credit than Joe Torre is absolute idiocy. They MAY have won in ’94, and it’s sad that we’ll never know whether they would have or not. What that roster became by the time the dynasty years rolled around both was very different than Buck’s teams and was not as a result of Buck.
        
        FWIW, I LIKE Buck and think a lot of his tenure as Yankee manager. His teams made me feel like we actually had a chance again.
        
        Knoxvillain
        
        Nope. You’re wrong. He went to MIT and majored in sabermetrics. Believe him. For your own good.
        
        Typical MIT Nerd
        
        Oh really, list the buttons Torre pushed. He showed up to three HOFs up the middle, an excellent rotation, and an otherworldly reliever (who Showalter DID develop).
        
        In three times as many years, Torre didn’t develop one middling player.
        
        Again, the proof is what they did afterwards. Showalter has done the same with one other team (that he was hired to build from scratch) and is well on his way with another.
        
        Torre by contrast washed out of the game when he couldn’t do anything with a very talented Dodgers team.
        
        Knoxvillain
        
        The Dodgers weren’t that talented, dude. Are you going to ignore Cano, Melky, Hughes, Kennedy, Joba, Wang, Robertson, etc? Or did Showalter make those players into great players by playing against them?
        
        jjyank
        
        Again, your arguments are so ill-informed that I don’t know where to start. This has been debunked several times already on this very sight. But you disappear when it has been debunked, only to appear a few days later to spew the same crap.
        
        Robinson Tilapia
        
        Holy revisionist history. Bernie Williams was the only one of them with more than a handful of at-bats in ’96. Buck flew down to Columbus and tutored them all himself? He has nothing to do with any of them.
        
        I’m not arguing this point further with you. Breaking Bad is on.
        
        Pasta Stumbling Sojo
        
        It would be great if you could respond to the whole thing about Showalter’s pythag record that you claimed from last thread.
        
        http://www.riveraveblues.com Mike Axisa
        
        Don’t bother. The pattern here is…
        
        1. Make a claim
        2. Ask you to provide evidence backing up your rebuttal
        3. Ignoring evidence
        4. Move target
        
        jjyank
        
        @ Pasta Stumbling Sojo
        
        Agreed 100%. Your research was great, and it would be nice if the Typical Troll would pay some attention to it.
        
        http://www.riveraveblues.com Mike Axisa
        
        They would have won the title in 1994.
        
        Obviously my standard of evidence is much higher than yours.
        
        jjyank
        
        Your terribly formed argument was debunked the last time you made it. Don’t try it again.
- Pasta Stumbling Sojo
  
  Seriously? You know who the DH for Texas is, right? Michael Young and his shiny .640 OPS. And the Rangers’ DH as a team have a .747 OPS compared to the Yankees’ .900.
  
  The Yankees aren’t perfect, and the players you listed aren’t great, but all teams have similar crappiness on their rosters (and most of them have much, much more). And even if you’re being optimistic, what do you think the difference would be between Dickerson and Ichiro? Half a win over the course of the rest of the season? Why is this something to complain about?
  - Get Phelps Up
    
    I like how he hasn’t even bothered to reply to this comment that has facts that debunk his claims.
  - Typical MIT Nerd
    
    Who said specifically their DH was better?
- gc
  
  Typical troll is typical.
  - Typical MIT Nerd
    
    And look at that, none of you adding anything on-topic or to my points.
    
    The truth hurts. So, so, sad. Boo-hoo.
    - http://www.riveraveblues.com Mike Axisa
      
      Yes, you’re the first person in RAB history to realize that Freddy Garcia sucks. Excellent point. I bow down before your genius. Next you’ll tell me that Derek Jeter can’t hit righties or that Phil Hughes is homer-prone.
      - Typical MIT Nerd
        
        Well, I don’t expect anything to be done about Jeter. Garcia and Hughes however should be shown the door. Hughes at least has promise in the bullpen.
        
        Knoxvillain
        
        Hughes should be shown the door? I am laughing and crying.
        
        http://www.riveraveblues.com Mike Axisa
        
        And has shown promise in the rotation for the last three months if you bothered to look past his one glaring flaw. What else does he do that’s a problem? Pretty much nothing right now.
        
        jjyank
        
        Typical Kindergarden Nerd….
        
        Get Phelps Up
        
        Have you watched Hughes pitch since April? Even Garcia has a ~3.5 ERA since re-joining the rotation.
    - Pasta Stumbling Sojo
      
      I did. I also pointed out in a previous thread that you had pulled your supposedly factual claim about Showalter out of thin air, and it was false.
- MannyGeee
  
  All.bullshit.arguement….
  
  Obvious troll is obvious
BillB

Can anyone answer this:

The team who plays the wild card winner has to play the first two away and than the next three home. How is the other playoff series set up?
- Kempire Strikes Back
  
  The team with the better record plays the first 2 at home, then the next 2 at the stadium of the team with the lesser record, and game 5 at home if necessary.
- Get Phelps Up
  
  Both ALDS series are 2-3 format. The LCS and WS are the same 2-3-2 as years past.
  - Kempire Strikes Back
    
    The ALDS is a 2-3 format now? Shit, I’m off my game.
    - Get Phelps Up
      
      Just for this year.
    - jjyank
      
      Just for this year, I think.
    - Strat
      
      Only this season, because MLB had to force the second WC in this season after the schedule was already out. So they did the 2-3 to cut out a travel day. Next season the schedule will allow them to go 2-2-1
      - Kempire Strikes Back
        
        Wouldn’t it have been smarter to wait a year before the second wildcard was added then? Is the MLB that desperate for revenue from markets that normally don’t have their team in the playoffs? Or is Bud Selig just a greedy fuck?
        
        I think we all know the answer.
        
        jjyank
        
        It’s the latter. I hate Selig with a dying passion. He’s a dick. There are so many things that would be better for baseball as a game, but he chose to bum-rush the new playoff system instead.
        
        OMG! Bagels!
        
        Agree on all points.
jjyank

I’m starting to think he flunked pre-school.
- jjyank
  
  Reply fail…sorry!
- Kempire Strikes Back
  
  I’m starting to think he’s still a fetus.
  - Get Phelps Up
    
    I’m starting to think he was never conceived.
    - Kempire Strikes Back
      
      I’m being led to believe his father was born sterile.
      
      Tragic really.
  - RetroRob
    
    I’m starting to think he’s a racist.
    
    Oh, wait. That’s Greg.
    - Kempire Strikes Back
      
      Typical MIT Nerd is a staunch member of the John Birch Society who still affirms to this day that the Civil Rights Movement was a communist plot to take the White Man’s rights away.
      - jjyank
        
        Heh. Greg is negative but rational, but TMITN is just straight up dumb. I like this, let’s refocus this joke on him. It fits better.
        
        Kempire Strikes Back
        
        Typical MIT Nerd has liked and favorited this YouTube video because he believes and I quote: “It’s funny and true!”
        
        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v.....ata_player
        
        jayd808
        
        Stick to baseball.
RetroRob

I prefer to look at it as the Yankees have won 63 of their last 107 games. : -)
BillB

So both are 2-3 format? well thats just stupid
Robinson Tilapia

East Antartican Studies. I think I figured out his major.

Complaining about Freddy Garcia pitching like a solid fill-in #5 starter as a fill-in #5 starter: priceless.
- jjyank
  
  My personal bet is that he failed out of high school. If he did go to college, I guess I could see Art History or something.
  - Robinson Tilapia
    
    Art History 1 was one of the toughest electives I ever took in college. True story.
    
    It’s like baseball-specific autism sometimes, and I say that with all due to respect, honestly, to anyone on the PDD spectrum or who loves someone who is.
  - TomH
    
    You don’t know too much, do you?
    - jjyank
      
      Hmm, probably more than you. But stick to dumb remarks like this.
Robinson Tilapia

Where’s my Plouffy weather report? It’s raining cats and dogs in the BK.
cashmoney

Cali Angels worries me the most in a 5 game series. 1.pitching 2. 2 ultra talented hitters. Rather avoid em if possible. but then again, they may not make the playoff, the Yanks will though.
- Robinson Tilapia
  
  I’d say any team that can throw at least two shutdown starters out there will give me a case of 2001WS-specific PTSD. Yes.
  - Brian S.
    
    Weaver isn’t that great away from his home ballpark, Grienke is crazy, and Wilson is a playoff choker. So we would win.
    - Robinson Tilapia
      
      That settles it. Go home, everyone. Nothing to see here.
    - JohnnyC
      
      And Sciosia isn’t really a genius. No, really.
      - Heisenberg’s Hat
        
        Francesa says he’s the best manager in baseball.
- Kevin G.
  
  I don’t think the Angels are going to win the West but they will be one of the Wild Card teams so there is a good chance they go up against Verlander in the playoff. In that case the Angels will probably be eliminated and the Yankees will not have to see Verlander Game 1 in the ALDS (assuming best record).
- http://www.riveraveblues.com Mike Axisa
  
  We can come up with reasons to be scared of any team in a five-game series, it’s a useless exercise. If they make the postseason, the Yankees are going to play a really good team in the first round and might lose to them. That’s just the way it is.
  - Paul VuvuZuvella
    
    Oh stop with the Uberlogic, will ya?
  - Brian S.
    
    What if a team draws the Yankees? That team has to deal with CC-Kuroda-Pettitte, a lineup full of players that can hit home runs, and two top flight late innings arms. What a difficult matchup!
    - Robinson Tilapia
      
      Of course. The point is that anyone can beat anyone.
      
      Tell that, though, to the people who become convinced the Yankees are “built to lose in the ALDS,” or whatever they say, when the team does something they don’t like.
Will (the other one)

To what extent has everybody been following the Olympics so far? I’ve never been big on the Summer Games, but I’m surprised at how much I’ve been enjoying watching so far.
- OMG! Bagels!
  
  Haven’t seen a single minute of it. I was at a get together last night where everyone kept talking about it and when I said, only when asked what I thought about someone or other, that I hadn’t watched any of it and I had no idea who this person was. The entire place went silent as if I just said, “I love torturing puppies.”
  - Paul VuvuZuvella
    
    It’s not an event for Sports lovers. It’s an event for Gossip lovers. (no offense to the fair and lovely and even smarter gender, but this is why the audience is predominantly female.)
    - Robinson Tilapia
      
      I disagree there. I think who NBC targets as viewer is one thing. I think the talent and effort that go into each support is another. The strength those gymnysts possess is just amazing.
      
      It’s easy for the non-sports fan to get behind something that lasts a few weeks and goes on every four years, hits a patriotic nerve, etc. It shouldn’t take away from what’s actually going on.
      
      I’m actually glad I’m doing a little bit more watching this time around. I always regretted it when I would take a stance like OMG!B! in the past.
      - Robinson Tilapia
        
        “each sport”
      - Paul VuvuZuvella
        
        Oh believe me I’m with you on the talent and athletic ability. There’s also something really cool about watching what is a kid (maybe a 15 year old girl) compete on a world stage to be the best on earth. All said, I can’t get into the volume of activity. One or two events here or there. I’m a huge sports fan. For Americans (sorry to the Latinos for using this label), we need Team Sports and we DON’t need a World stage to prove ourselves. It’s the way we were brought up…don’t hate us for it.
        
        Robinson Tilapia
        
        I don’t get the whole American/Latino thing, but whatever. I’m guessing you meant “Americans” versus “South America” or something. It’s all good.
        
        To each his own, though. I think there are plenty of people in this country who identify more with an individual’s efforts than a team’s efforts. There are tennis fans. There are golf fans. There are auto racing fans.
        
        Paul VuvuZuvella
        
        Yeah, you can’t call residents of the USA Americans in South America or you will get an earful. I try to say shit like “in the States” rather than “in America”, etc.
        
        Agree with your assessment of individual sports but there is a reason we have a Big 4 and they are all team sports.
        
        Robinson Tilapia
        
        I don’t know if I’d put hockey above tennis or golf. Then again, someone else can quote numbers that either quote otherwise or tell me Buck Showalter had something to do with it. Back to BB.
      - OMG! Bagels!
        
        I’ve actually been working a lot. I’ve missed a lot of Yankee games as well. Though it seems like the past few weeks were the games to miss.
- Robinson Tilapia
  
  I’ve tried to make a more concerted effort this year. Enjoying it. Why I just spent 15 minutes watching an expose on James Bond, I have no clue.
- FIPster Doofus
  
  Haven’t watched much. It seems as if every time I turn the Olympics on, it’s a commercial. Then I lose interest and change the channel.
- The Troll
  
  I think that the gymnasts McKayla Maroney and Aly Raisman are hot. I can say that because I’m not much older than they are. Despite this fact, however, Women’s Gymnastics in general is awesome. The sh*t they do on the beam, vaulty, floor, and uneven bars . . . it’s epic. I’m baffled their ankles don’t break after every landing . . . And their back muscles!!! They could crush steel-plated walnuts!
  - Paul VuvuZuvella
    
    Hahah, for what it’s worth, I’ve had a crush on every girl gymnast since Nadia Comeneci. It’s not an age or sexual thing. It’s an empowerment thing. Girl Power!
    - Robinson Tilapia
      
      Never into the gymnasts.
      
      My female athlete crush will forever be Jennie Finch.
      - jjyank
        
        That’s because she’s just really….really hot.
The Troll

Greg killed the dinosaurs.
- Robinson Tilapia
  
  MIT Nerd misrepresented their demise in order to defend the honor of Buck Showalter.
- Brian S.
  
  Greg wants this thread to be on only one topic.
Robinson Tilapia

Yuniesky Betancourt DFA’ed by the Royals. Yanks should pick him up only because I love how that one vendor at the stadium who loves to go through the opposing team lineup while hawking his wares says his name.
- Knoxvillain
  
  I hate Betancourt more than I hate Fat Sloppy. Around 2006-2007 the Mariners’ announcers said they would take him over Jeter if the season started today during a series at Safeco against the Yanks.
  
  More proof why announcers should stay to announcing the game and should start to keep their opinions to themselves.
  - Robinson Tilapia
    
    Do you know the vendor I’m talking about, though? Does anyone?
    - Heisenberg’s Hat
      
      Is it the vendor who pronounces “crackerjacks” really weird?
Robinson Tilapia

I hate that the storms somewhere are messing with my Breaking Bad feed.
Paul VuvuZuvella

Anyont got a cure for hiccups?
- Kempire Strikes Back
  
  Hiccups occur due to a lack of oxygen. Just take deep breaths until they go away.
  - Paul VuvuZuvella
    
    It sounded good, and you delivered it with supreme confidence…but not working.
    - Kempire Strikes Back
      
      I should have just posted this but I was feeling kind: http://lmgtfy.com/?q=Cure+for+hiccups
      - Paul VuvuZuvella
        
        Dude!!!!!!!!!!!!! That 30 second cure worked! Much obliged Kempire.
        
        Kempire Strikes Back
        
        Anytime.
- Robinson Tilapia
  
  Buck Showalter, of course.
  
  In all seriousness, classic Cuban remedies, vol.1:
  
  – Drink a glass of water upside-down
  – Have some scare you
  – Put a piece of string on your forehead
  - Paul VuvuZuvella
    
    I’m totally doing the string on forehead just so I can come back and curse your existance in about oh, shall we say 5 minutes?
    - Robinson Tilapia
      
      They really used to do that to me…..and I believed them.
      - Paul VuvuZuvella
        
        I can’t stand on my head and I don’t scare easily. Alas, I was stuck with your String Therapy. Still hiccuping and it’s really getting annoying. #Dietilapiadie
        
        Ethan
        
        Holding my breath has always worked for me
        
        Robinson Tilapia
        
        Hahahahaha.
        
        Never trust old cultural medical myths.
        
        I think you can drink the glass of water putting the top of the rim to your bottom lip.
        
        thenamestsam
        
        You can also just hold the water in your mouth, bend all the way over, and then swallow. Foolproof method that works every time.
Paul VuvuZuvella

There should be a “No Cheesy Moustache” rule for all Olympians (of any gender.)

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