Earlier this sumer — Old Timer’s Day to be exact — Ben and I sat high in the Tier Reserves. Over the course of both games, we were on high alert for pigeons perched above us; a number of people in our section had been pooped on, though they were a couple of rows in front of us. One guy actually got hit three times (he deserved it, as he was a drunken idiot). Clearly, though neither of us was hit, this was a nuisance. Pigeons suck and that goes triply for ballgames.
I’ve always wished we could do something to abolish pigeons. After all, what freakin’ purpose do they serve other than playthings for old, smelly ladies in the park? The Cincinnati Bengals have a solution: gun them down. Yes, the team is seeking permission to eliminate pigeons with pellet guns. This brings two things to mind:
1) This is by far the coolest idea in the history of human existence.
2) How does one sign up to shoot these pigeons?
Hey, almost all of us have experience. Who didn’t sit on their friend’s porch and pick off squirrels and birds and whatever else presented itself as a target?