Red Sox security forces worse than the Boston bullpen


While some Red Sox fans are less than thrilled with Shelley Duncan’s classless-but-hilarious autograph, the Fenway Faithful managed to out-class (or is that out-classless?) the Yankees. And the stadium security forces weren’t much better.

Yesterday, during the Seventh Inning, after Eric Hinske doubled, a Boston fan ran onto the field, stole Robinson Cano‘s hat, tried to high-five Hinske and was finally, mercifully tackled in the outfield by security. In an age when we have to worry about fans attacking base coaches, how did this guy manage to get to second base, steal a hat off a player and find his way into the outfield before the obligatory security pile-on? That’s pretty terrible work by the Red Sox’s security forces.

But righteous outrage aside, Yankee fans can have some fun with this one. Below is the photo of the fan being tackled. Your job? Caption it. Leave your responses in the comments and we’ll do something with our favorite choices. Maybe we’ll all vote on it. The winner gets undying recognition and unconditional love.

Categories : Rants


  1. Casper says:

    In a surprising moment of clarity, an inebriated Townie argues that Damon was, indeeed, safe at first.

  2. Mike R. says:

    Now playing…ing…ing. In Left Field…field…field. Dipstick Douchebag…Douchebag.

  3. Mike R. says:

    “I’m flying Jack!”

  4. usty says:

    “Oh no, grass stains on my new khakis! Mom’s gonna kill me!!”

  5. Adam says:

    It’s Tyler Clippard!

  6. usty says:

    Even being tackled, Sully was still less of a defensive liability than Manny…

  7. Mike A. says:

    How dare Shelley Duncan sign my little brother’s autograph “Red Sox Suck”!

  8. Mike R. says:

    Just one more unfunny moment in the career of Dane Cook.

  9. Randy L says:

    You Cano do this and get away with it!

  10. JS says:

    The Return of Ed Grimley — Thinking that “Joba Chamberlain seems like a fairly decent man, ya know, much like Pat Sajack” Ed Grimley became mental and burst on the playing field during the Yanks win in Fenway.

  11. [...] « Red Sox security forces worse than the Boston bullpen 17 09 2007 Game 150: Avoiding the inevitable let-down Posted by: Ben K. in Game Threads [...]

  12. steve says:

    “i told you i’m not giving you these white jeans”

    “come on man, those are wicked! let me have them”

  13. Wordewizard says:

    Matt DeSalvo’s love partner delivers intense message just short of bullpen

  14. Wordewizard says:

    Jacoby Ellsbury attempts to do anything Johnny Damon can do: even if it means wearing Yankee gear in left field.

  15. Wordewizard says:

    Borat in distress after Eric Hinske of the Toronto Jay Sox refuses hi-five advances.

  16. Wordewizard says:

    Carmen Angelini unlikely to assume Derek Jeter’s crown after mistakenly taking Cano’s.

  17. Wordewizard says:

    Cano you di’int

  18. Styles says:

    And now introducing the most talked about yankee in history…………………………………….. HARLAN CHAMBERLAIN!

  19. Adam A says:

    Isn’t that Joba’s dad? Lol, WOW…..

    Personally he looks like Jimmy Fallon

  20. JP says:

    “Ruben Rivera’s accomplice gets nabbed at last!”

  21. [...] to love die-hard baseball fans: Yesterday, during the Seventh Inning, after Eric Hinske doubled, a Boston fan ran onto the field, stole Robinson Cano’s hat, tried to high-five Hinske and was finally, [...]

  22. Alex says:

    Here’s a few

    “And so Red Sox Nation gets its revenge by stealing a Yankee hat.”

    “Just because you’re being tackled doesn’t mean you shouldn’t look sharp.”

    “Dammit! The Red Sox DO NOT SUCK!”

    “Fever Pitch 2: Fallon’s Revenge” or “Fever Pitch 2: Fallon Hat Fiasco”

  23. Mike says:

    Grease Lightning, go Grease Lightning!!

  24. Freddy says:

    Keanu Reeves…whoa.

  25. Mike A. says:

    It’s just Sully being Sully!

  26. Cam says:

    “Dude, the E is totally kicking in! Lift me up so I can fly!!”

  27. Wang Fan says:

    Tired of the futility of his efforts, Theo Epstein makes a dash to join the “Evil Empire”, before John Henry tackled him and hauled him back.

  28. [...] Fan -on-the-Field caption contest is going strong. I wanted to up the ante a little bit. I’m going to offer a prize. The winner [...]

  29. Yankee Fan in Chicago says:

    I don’t have no friggin laptops!

  30. John says:

    “I’m sure I’m faster than Dave Roberts…”

  31. Yankee Fan in Chicago says:

    I’ve got a delivery for a Mr. 38pitches? His standing homegame order, a dozen maple-cheddar breakfast sandwiches? Hey wait, what are you doing?

  32. Kevin says:

    “Sorry buddy, but the punishment for wearing a Yankees cap at Fenway is… ATOMIC WEDGIE!!!”

  33. Count Zero says:

    Isiah, I swear! I did NOT call her a bitch!

  34. usty says:

    And the race to find Manny’s green monster piss-bucket ended violently…

  35. Mac says:

    Now this whole routine is a little overdone, but someone’s gotta do the old gag…

    “Front-row seats at Historic Fenway Park: $330
    21 Sam Adams Boston Lagers for you and your frat brothers: $140
    Getting to show the whole world how Wicked awesome you are?


    Red Sox Nation–making asses of themselves, everywhere.”

  36. Steven Spaller says:


  37. deadrody says:

    “Theo Epstein and Brian Cashman in the first annual Yanks / Sox Dance Marathon Atomic Wedgie Twist Contest”

  38. Marc says:

    “Evil will always triumph over good because good is dumb” – Spaceballs.

  39. Elsupremo2 says:

    Auntie Em! Uncle Henry! Toto! It’s a twister! It’s a twister!

  40. Yankee Fan in Chicago says:

    Bitch set me up!

  41. Mike R. says:

    This is how the Red Sox collapse of ’07 went on to become “The Curse of the Asshole”

  42. Mike 44 says:

    A deranged Willie Bloomquist, unsatisfied with his miscalled stolen base earlier in the season, decides to fan the flames and steal Yankees’ Second Baseman, Robinson Cano’s hat after running onto the field in Fenway Park Sunday night. Bloomquist is seen here gesturing to Cano that he was indeed, safe.

  43. Sean McNally says:

    Moments later, Flynnie has second thoughts about his impromptu campaign event to become president of Red Sox Nation.

  44. Wordewizard says:

    In a botched terrorist plot, unidentified Boston fan curses “f–kin Yankees” when he realizes his trigger was swapped with Jonathon Papelbon’s cell phone.

    Kei Igawa: “In the country of my country, this is how we rolled.”

  45. Cas says:

    New Era’s 2007 ad campaign: “Some people will do anything to get their hands on the new 59Fifty Authentic MLB caps with moisture management technology!!!”

  46. Wordewizard says:

    “All my records they don’t get played,
    ‘cuz all my records they don’t get made,
    when you rap like me you don’t get paid,
    and when you roll like me you don’t get laid,”
    reports defeated Bostonian.

  47. Sammy Sutton says:

    i its a shame that security intercepted the yankee fan cause he was after farnsworth and igawa

  48. ShawnT says:

    “Red Sox fan claims Yankees reporter Kim Jones offered him $50 and oral relief for the hat”

  49. ShawnT says:

    “Boyfriend of Red Sox 1B Kevin Youkallis seeks revenge after lover gets beatdown by Yankee pitchers Joba Chamberlain and Chen Ming Wang”

  50. JerseyJohn says:

    The fashion police in effect, no white pants after labor day!

  51. [...] thinking about for three days (but haven’t posted), I just want to remind everyone of the caption contest, which ends tonight at midnight. A few made me snarf my [...]

  52. A non mouse says:

    …giving new meaning to the term ‘Soxaholix’?

  53. Yankee Fan in Chicago says:

    I guess this is why Uncle Jason told me to always wear a facemask since you never know when you might be facing a beating.

  54. LBA Prequel says:

    “Please don’t pants me…I’m swear I’m a Red Sox fan!”

  55. Julie says:


  56. Travis says:

    Having sworn off stealing laptops, but seeking the thrill of thievery, Boston’s Clay Buchholz swipes the next best thing.

  57. Wordewizard says:

    Ever in hot pursuit of Lane Meyer, boy, now grown, goes to desperate measures to extract his two friggin’ dollars.

  58. Wordewizard says:

    Young man wins dare: delay game so J-Pap can get in some extra warmup pitches.

  59. Wordewizard says:

    Boston fan from the future attempts to alter history: Yankees to win division, Boston succumbs to Cleveland in the ALDS, describes next 47 years as “very bitter” in Massachusetts.

  60. Lil Jimmy Norden says:

    Security guy: Oh, Jesus Christ, is that a fucking ladies thong?

    Sox fan: Tee hee, that tickles!

  61. Abe says:

    Green tea enema for that Yankee fan

  62. Alex says:

    “Nooo! I finally have a winner’s hat!”

  63. Cam says:

    Tink, I finally made it Neverland!

  64. Will says:

    Two loving Sox fans demonstrate what they think “Bowling over the ‘catcher’” means to them.

  65. Cam says:

    I got your cell phone! I got your cell phone!

  66. Cam says:

    I’m already pulled over! I can’t pull over any farther!

  67. Cam says:

    OK, last one. The DVD set is totally sweet:

    ARRGGG, this hat is so tiiiiggghhhhtt!

  68. [...] we go, folks. After nearly 80 entries for captions, we’ve narrowed down the selection to our top [...]

  69. [...] second place with 32 votes is Yankee Fan in Chicago: I don’t have no friggin [...]

  70. [...] we go, folks. After nearly 80 entries for captions, we’ve narrowed down the selection to our top [...]

  71. [...] we go, folks. After nearly 80 entries for captions, we’ve narrowed down the selection to our top [...]

  72. [...] Fan -on-the-Field caption contest is going strong. I wanted to up the ante a little bit. I’m going to offer a prize. The winner [...]