10 things that could happen to the Yanks in 2008By
Over at his blog today, Steve recalls a Ken Rosenthal radio interview from this morning where he says that the Blue Jays could to finish above the Yankees in 2008. This, before even pitchers and catchers have reported. So Ben and I got to thinking: There are tons of things that could happen to the Yanks in 2008. Here’s our list of 10 things that could happen to the Yanks in ’08.
- Brian Cashman develops the ability to foretell the future. The Yankees never lose again.
- Oil is discovered under new Yankee Stadium. Hal and Hank pack up their trucks and move to Beverly Hills.
- Derek Jeter volunteers to move to first base, “for the good of the team.”
- The truth of why the Yankees never bean David Ortiz is revealed. After Joba Chamberlain beans him in the seventh inning of a tie game, Ortiz reveals his true form, Godzilla, and devours the City of New York.
- In a change of heart, George says, “Ah, screw this,” and orders new Yankee Stadium to be torn down, mid-construction.
- Hank Steinbrenner contracts laryngitis, causing Kat O’Brien to lose her job.
- Josh Beckett’s arm falls off on April 1st. Marc Melancon, joining the Yankees in May, infects the entire clubhouse with a Staph infection. Devil Rays win the AL East.
- Johan Santana goes 34-0 with a 1.09 ERA.
- Melky hits .280/.354/.406, the exact same line put up by Bernie Williams in his age 23 season.
- George Mitchell uncovers evidence of rampant steroid abuse in clubhouses around the league. “I thought this incident was limited to New York,” he says. “We’ll need another $4 million for a thorough investigation. Except for Boston. I can vouch for them.”