Go away, fat man. We don’t want you here

Cooking with the Chamberlains
Krazy Kyle's suspension for missing Manny reduced to one game

MLB Trade Rumors (where you can catch me every Saturday morning from 10 ’til 2) has an interesting note this morning: David Wells wants to come back to the Yankees. What’s worse, there are indications — whatever the hell that means — that Hank Steinbrenner is interested as well. Despite the Yankees troubles with starting pitching to this point, I can only hope this is a rumor started by a rogue publication just to stir up the fan base.

But stirred we will not be! Why not? Because we know the Yankees are smarter than this. Wells threw 157.1 innings last year, all for NL West teams, and finished with a 5.43 ERA. He’s 45 years old. In other words, he’s cooked. There’s no way around it. In fact, I can give you a list of pitchers within our organization that I’d rather give a shot than David Wells (in no particular order):

Kei Igawa
Jeff Karstens
Alan Horne
Brett Smith
Steven White
Jeff Marquez
Carl Pavano
Dan McCutchen
Ross Ohlendorf
Humberto Sanchez
Chase Wright
Dan Giese
Steven Jackson
Phil Coke
Jason Jones
George Kontos
Ian Nova
Michael Dunn
Zach McAllister
Ryan Pope

If every one of these pitchers failed, yeah, then I’d give Wells a call.

Portrait of Wells from Frank Galasso.

Cooking with the Chamberlains
Krazy Kyle's suspension for missing Manny reduced to one game
  • http://www.mvn.com/mlb-yankees Jim Johnson

    I’d rather have Carl Pavano pitching with his left arm. He didn’t have TJ surgery on THAT one, right?

  • http://www.riveraveblues.com Ben K.

    Can we add Pope Benedict XVI, the Dalai Lama, Whitey Ford (aged 80) and Bud Selig’s toupee to that list also?

  • Ron

    Kei Igawa? Really? I dunno. All the others on the list I agree with, and there are probably many more. But Kei Igawa? Let me know if you still feel the same after tonight.

  • http://yankeesetc.blogspot.com/ Travis G.

    ‘fat guy in a little coat, fat guy in a little coat’

    couldn’t resist.

  • Brian

    I think I’d rather Kei start two consecutive games…
    slightly off-topic, but the beauty of Kei starting tonight, the silver lining, is this: it couldn’t be worse for the Igawa. Tonight he stands a chance to greatly improve his standing with the fanbase and (cough cough) his trade value. Obviously Cashman wants a single decent start from the investment, but if it even hints at making Kei look like a guy on the brink of some success, why wouldn’t we be happy about that? Go Kei!

  • http://yankeesfuture.wordpress.com Pablo Zevallos

    nice how you got away from the tabloid, as MLBTR took this from the Post!

  • steve (different one)

    eh. there are a lot of guys on that list who are simply not ready to be called up to the big leagues no matter what. and there are a lot of guys on that list who aren’t healthy.

    if Wells was willing to take a minor league deal and report to AAA, i wouldn’t be outraged.

    i wouldn’t be excited either, but Wells was a really good pitcher for a long time. you never know if he could squeeze out a few more above average innings.

    i’d want to see that happen in AAA first, but it’s not like it would be craziest thing that ever happened.

    i’m pretty sure if you polled the people on this site before the season, 90% would have also said Mussina was “cooked”.

    i’m not exactly in favor of this move, but it wouldn’t kill me either.

  • A.D.

    No Joba on the list?

    And I think the Yanks throw enough money down the drain already, they don’t need to sign Wells, he didn’t even give innings last year, he avg around 5 & change, you could just pitch 4 relievers in a game instead….maybe then Britton would get to pitch

  • Eddie

    There is no risk to signing Wells to a minor league deal. If the rotation spots are filled adequately from within, then so be it, but why not have an extra insurance policy. It is similar to Bartolo Colon waiting in the wings for the Red Sox. It will not cost the team much of anything, if we end up needing some spots filled later in the season, why bring up Alan Horne and risk shredding his confidence…

    • whozat

      Because Horne would likely perform better than Wells at this point?

      Look, McCutchen is already kind of stuck in AA. Wright is too. Why add another body to the AAA rotation when those guys could go up there and maybe actually show that they could contribute this season, either in spot starts or out of the pen?

  • http://www.riveraveblues.com Mike A.

    Just yank Coney out of the booth if worst comes to worst. He’s gritty.

    • http://www.ilikemygirls.com Seven Costanza

      hell, i’ll let kay pitch before wells. that way, someone might drill him with a comebacker.

  • EdB

    I would probably have a problem with signing Wells to a AAA deal. There’s a surplus of young pitching in the high minors right now-so much so that guys with MLB experience are in AA. With Horne coming back you would end up having to drop a real prospect to give Wells a slot. Most of the guys current at AAA have a legit shot of seeing time in the majors this year.

    Also, do you really want your young players hanging out with David Wells after games on the road? I legitimately think he could single-handedly topple the entire team.

    • mike

      I would think the Yanks are going to be active in the trade market if they do not shake this malaise, and will likely have to overpay in young talent ( arms ) to get something back.

      Thus, signing Wells is a no-brainer, because if they trade some young guys he will be an extra arm for the team ( lefty out of the pen, long man etc ) if he is not sup[er-effective as a starter, and on the other side he could potentially do well ( Leiter a few years ago for a few starts etc.), making a trade unecessary until/unless Hughes demonstrates he is healthy

      Either way there is no down-side, and for those who think there is – who would you rather see tonight ( also known as Who Will not Walk the Ballpark even if he is Not Crucified) Wells or Igawa – ‘enuff said

      • whozat

        There is a down side, as we several people have detailed…First of all, he won’t be in game shape for more than a month, so it’s not like he’d help us cover this stretch where Kennedy had to go down, Phil is on the DL and Joba’s not ready for the move yet. And, by sticking him in AAA it just makes it harder to move interesting guys like McCutchen and Wright closer to the majors. Those guys could potentially help out of the pen this year, and we won’t find out if we start piling up retreads in AAA to block them.

        NOTHING about Wells’ performance last year makes me think he’d do well in the AL. Mediocre ERA in a HUGE pitchers park, and he didn’t even go deep in games.

    • mike

      also, while he is a jerk, besides drinking with the team, maybe he could speak to the same guys over a beer the importance of being aggressive in the count, throw inside, throw strikes, don’t walk anyone etc.

      • http://www.ilikemygirls.com Seven Costanza

        you need david wells to tell them that?! mariano, pettitte, eiland, girardi, etc. don’t understand “being aggressive in the count, throw[ing] inside, throw[ing] strikes…” ??????

      • Count Zero

        He’s also a chronic egotist. What makes you think he would actually sit in AAA waiting for a callup without making a lot of unpleasant noise? No way Wells is a “veteran presence” at the AAA level for more than a month — he would explode into daily tantrums detailing why he should be in the show.

        Pass…big pass. I’m not prepared to pay that cost even if he were to help us stay in the hunt. I’d rather not make the playoffs. I would rather see Chase Wright back in pinstripes.

  • mustang

    I like to add Ben K., Joseph P., and Mike A to the list. LOL
    Can someone tell me WHY are they even going there?

    • Adam

      they aren’t actually going there. yesterday was a slow news day as the yankees won and there was little to complain about. oh, and hank likes the sound of his own voice.

  • KW

    Farnsworth’s suspension was reduced to two games by the magnanimous Bob Watson. Watson’s a douche

    • dan

      one game

  • dan

    I’d rather they trade for Rick Ankiel and let him pitch

  • Pingback: David Wells? « Rivera’s Cutter

  • LastClown

    Coney, Coney, Coney…….he said during the broadcast yesterday that part of his duties as teammate in the late 90’s w/ Boomer was keeping him out of jail at nights when they were on the road *or in NY, for that matter*

    But hey, if his liver is still in good enough shape, maybe he could get blasted & throw another perfect 9???

    Seriously though, he should be throwing BP to the Babe at this point

  • LiveFromNewYork

    What games are Iggy scheduled to pitch…tonight and when? I got tix to subway series and don’t want to see his fat face on the mound.

  • this dude

    hall of famer wade boggs has some potential, hes two months away from being 50 but i think his age pales in comparison to his mound prowess over wells
    he does sport a career 3.86 ERA and a 2:1 K:BB ratio, the last time boomer threw that well was in 04 so you be the judge

  • tommiesmithjohncarlos

    I have no rational or empirical explanation for this, but I just love “Phil Coke” and “Ivan Nova”. I think those are two AWESOME baseball names.

  • http://mvn.com/milb-yankees Eric

    No candy and ice cream in the clubhouse=No David Wells. I think he would have a tough time with Girardi’s new rule.

  • Adrian-Retire21

    CAn Wells (as a Reliever) get lefties out?

  • chriso

    Everyone should remember that Brian Cashman has said absolutely nothing about wanting to sign–about even being interesting in signing–David Wells.
    David Wells has expressed an interesting in pitching for the Yankees. So? I would guess that most Yankees’ fans have expressed an interest in pitching for the Yankees. Heck, I’d like to pitch for the Yankees. I’m only 43, and I’m left-handed, and a lot thinner than Wells. Do I qualify?

  • http://pinstripealley.com Edwantsacracker

    I think it speaks volumes that Carl Pavano is on that list AND I agree that I would rather see Pavano than Wells in pinstripes.

  • http://www.yanksblog.com Patrick

    Your post reminded me of the first new episode after Family Guy returned after being cancelled. Where Peter says that if all of these shows fail, then maybe they could come back. :) heh.

    Hope that doesn’t happen here!


  • JT

    I’d rather not see Wells, Pavano and Igawa. It’s getting harder and harder to watch games.

  • Relaunch

    Please take Igawa’s name off the list. I don’t ever want to see him pitch again.

  • pounder

    Whats the deal with Brett Smith? He was lights out for half a season last year,then was sent to Tampa where he imploded.This is the guy,who,if healthy, could be a real sleeper.

  • Aona2000

    Wells is a risky option, but i´m not sure if the yankees, will make this choice.