So when’s Kyle Farnsworth’s Peanut Butter Cookie Day?

Scheppers injured
Better late than never

We all know and love Krazy Kyle Farnsworth. He’s the one we love to hate, coming out of the bullpen to give us all heart attacks, and despite his successes this year, we all fear that he’s just one bad inning away from melting down completely.

But what does Krazy Kyle, the 100-mph flame thrower, do in his spare time? Why, he bakes, of course! In a piece that we inexplicably missed during the dog days of Spring Training, Mark Feinsand wrote a piece about the man behind the pitcher. It’s priceless:

Anyone who has seen Kyle Farnsworth unleash his 100 mph heater, daring the hitter to take his best shot, knows one thing about one of the game’s most aggressive pitchers: He is a competitor who puts everything he’s got into each pitch, sometimes at the expense of his command.

But the mound isn’t the only place where Farnsworth shows his competitive side. “We have a bake-off every year and the kids are the judges,” says Shayla Pert, his fiancée. “He always wins; I think he pays them.”

Farnsworth laughs upon hearing this, though Pert quickly clarifies, admitting to his superiority when it comes to their culinary skills. “He’s a great baker,” she says. “He’s Betty Crocker. He makes the best peanut butter cookies ever.”

Yes, folks, Kyle Farnsworth is a baker. I wish we could see him with his Betty Crocker apron on. That must be adorably terrifying.

The best part — OK, one of the best parts; it’s all pretty great — of Feinsand’s piece were the quotes from Farnsworth’s BFF Scott Proctor. “Farnsy’s a guy who doesn’t warm up to a lot of people,” Proctor says. “He’s very reserved and withdrawn at the ballpark, but once you get him away from that and get through that brick wall he puts up, he’s one of those guys you can count on at a time of need.”

As for Farnsworth himself, the article discusses his home life with his fiancée Shyla Pert and their children — Stone, the couple’s son, and two other children from her previous marriage. Feindsand wraps it up with a quote from Kyle: “The numbers haven’t been the way I think they should be, but I can look at myself in the mirror and know that I have given my all every single day.”

As much as I’ve been annoyed at Farnsworth, I certainly believe him, and anytime he wants to start doling out peanut butter cookies, I’ll take one.

Scheppers injured
Better late than never
  • Jamal G.

    Kyle Farnsworth has always been the man, anytime you body slam an opposing player you’re cool in my book.

    So have to ask, if continues hiis success in pinstripes this year, do we cut him loose and gain yet another compensation pick in the Supplemental Round or do we sign him for a couple years (three at the very most, but I’m thinking two)?

  • RustyJohn

    Cookies? I had always thought Farnsworth would have had a deer jerky recipe but once speculated he may have read “Thus Spoke Zarathustra”. (Rumor has it that just before bodyslamming Jeremy Affeldt he said, “God is dead, bitch!”)

  • Double-J

    Just as long as he doesn’t throw “cookies” at opposing batters, I’ll be fine with whatever Mr. Crocker can whip up. How about a Snickerdoodle slider? :-p

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  • LiveFromNewYork

    Kyle is completely nuts and that’s what I like about him. I can see him and Scottie Proctor being BFFs.

    I’m glad he’s dealing this year but I think that it’s being wasted on this pathetic offense.

  • Victoria

    idk my bff Scott Proctor?