Jul
13

Our Universe is bigger than your Nation

By

I’ve always been rather skeptical of the idea of Red Sox Nation. Do fans really need to prove their love of their team through the cost of their fan package and a ludicrous faux-presidential election? While New England dithered with their quaint fan club, the Bronx fans simply went on cheering for the Bombers.

Well, I guess the Powers-That-Be have determined a fan club to a lucrative venture. Earlier today, the Yankees announced the formation of the Yankee Universe, an official Yankee fan club with “members exclusive benefits, unique access and special savings.”

Per the press release, members of the fan club with earn benefits that “extend to all aspects of the fan experience.” They get 10 percent discounts at the clubhouse store and online specials at the MLB.com Shop. Those holding a membership card and a ticket will get fast-tracked into the stadium at Gate 2. That one, by the way, is the gate all the way out in left field at the corner of Jerome Ave. and 162nd St. It’s not really worth the walk.

In reality, this fan club isn’t much of anything. For $19.95 for the rest of the season, members gain access to the Gameday Audio package and all of these benefits. It’s basically an MLB.com enticement with some perks. Some of the proceeds will go to the Department of Pediatrics at the Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center.

Boston may have its nation, but we have an entire Universe. We win.

Categories : Musings
  • http://www.puristbleedspinstripes.com Rebecca-Optimist Prime

    I prefer the RAB club.

    Smart baseball fans!

    • http://bronxbaseballdaily.com Matt ACTY/BBD

      +1.

      We can has t-shirts?

      • Tom Zig

        T-shirts is a cool idea

        • jsbrendog

          i have one, it says save the big 3. and no one of them sits in the bullpen god knows why, one of them is bordering on bust but still has time, and i want to straight up punch the 3rd one in the face and just be like, you’re better than that, bad dog.

          • http://bronxbaseballdaily.com Matt ACTY/BBD

            bordering on bust but still has time

            If Joba is 25-26 and still pitching like he is, then I’ll say he’s on the borderline of being a bust. Waaaaaay, waaaaaaaaay too early for that. Dare I say it? DARE I? Oaktag. That’s right. I did it.

            (I know you were being hyperbolic to prove a point but whatever. I just wrote 1493 words of my own and I’m touchy. I got nothing but love for you JBD.)

            • http://www.riveraveblues.com Joseph Pawlikowski

              Dude, he was referring to Kennedy with that.

              • http://bronxbaseballdaily.com Matt ACTY/BBD

                Comprehension F A I L

                • jsbrendog

                  you were just voicingyour inner suppressed joba=bust feelings eh? i see it now :-P

                • http://bronxbaseballdaily.com Matt ACTY/BBD

                  Freudian slip, FTL?

                • http://phabfour.blogspot.com/ Double-J

                  Well, Matt knows Joba’s not a starting pitchah!

              • jsbrendog

                yes i was. much love to my homies.

                • jsbrendog

                  i wasn’t dissing the shirts btw, just saying.

                • http://bronxbaseballdaily.com Matt ACTY/BBD

                  Just your “oaktagian” judgment? ;)

  • Tom Zig

    Can we have a faux-election? But instead of President, do we get a chancellor or an emperor?

    • http://bronxbaseballdaily.com Matt ACTY/BBD

      General Joe will lead a military coup.

    • http://www.puristbleedspinstripes.com Rebecca-Optimist Prime

      IMPERATOR!!!

    • http://twitter.com/tsjc68 tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

      I call dibs on Chancellor of the Exchequer.

      • http://www.puristbleedspinstripes.com Rebecca-Optimist Prime

        All right, but I got dibs on the Spy Chief.

        (a la Sir Francis Walsingham)

      • http://phabfour.blogspot.com/ Double-J

        Can I be Sergeant at (Hairy) Arms?

        • JackC

          What about Minister Without Portfolio?

          • http://phabfour.blogspot.com/ Double-J

            I have Scottrade. :P

  • http://twitter.com/tsjc68 tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

    In reality, this fan club isn’t much of anything.

    I’m reminded of the Simpsons episode where Moe sticks the crayon back up Homer’s nose to get just the right amount of dumbness.

    Moe: “Alright, tell me when I hit the sweet spot.”
    Homer: “Deeper, you pusillanimous pilsner pusher!”
    Moe: “All right, all right.”
    [pushes deeper]
    Homer: “DE-FENSE!!! OOH, OHH!! DE-FENSE!!! OOH, OHH!!”
    Moe: “Eh, that’s pretty dumb. But, uh…”
    [pushes deeper]
    Homer: “Extended warranty? How can I lose?”
    Moe: “Perfect.”

  • bicycle boy

    yankees universe = just as gay as redsox nation

    • http://www.puristbleedspinstripes.com Rebecca-Optimist Prime

      Can we not use gay as a slur here?

      Please?

      • AP28

        gay=happy

      • http://bronxbaseballdaily.com Matt ACTY/BBD

        +A bunch.

        Gay is not a synonym for shitty.

        • http://twitter.com/tsjc68 tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

          Thirded.

  • http://www.riveraveblues.com Benjamin Kabak

    Can I just reiterate my amusement with the Fast Track ticketing option? I’ve walked around to Gate 2. It’s far from the subway and far from the scrum between Gates 4 and 6. By the time you walk all the way over there, any time benefit you get by using Fast Track has been wasted.

    • http://www.puristbleedspinstripes.com Rebecca-Optimist Prime

      +42

    • Pasqua

      But it’s Gate 2! 2!!

  • AP28

    How about waiting to release this until they’re no longer down 0-8 to the Red Sox on the season? Anything to make more money.

  • Little Bill

    This idea is almost as dumb as putting Hughes in the bullpen. Who’s running this team nowadays?

    • http://www.riveraveblues.com Benjamin Kabak

      I’m 100 percent certain that the person running the team and the person running the fan club idea have little to no contact with each other. In his spare time, Brian Cashman is not setting up the Yankee Universe.

      • http://bronxbaseballdaily.com Matt ACTY/BBD

        Yes he is. That’s why he has no time to assemble a good bench.

        • http://twitter.com/tsjc68 tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

          The reason we didn’t win the title in 2007 is because Cashman spent the whole year personally picking out wall valances for the NYY Steak restaurant.

          Billy Beane called Cashman’s office at the deadline and offered him Dan Haren for Melky Cabrera straight up. The call went to voicemail. Cashman never got the message until spring training 2008, when Haren was already in Arizona.

          • Salty Buggah

            I know you’re kidding but imagine the rotation we could have had now had we gotten Haren. CC, Haren, AJ, 19-game Wang (not bad Wang), Joba/Andy/Phil.

            I know that if we had Haren we probably wouldn’t have gotten CC and AJ, but just imagine.

      • jsbrendog

        that was probably levine/trost. heh

        • http://www.puristbleedspinstripes.com Rebecca-Optimist Prime

          Which would explain a lot.

      • Little Bill

        He could be setting it up. The Yankees could be running low on cash, you just never know. I guess it’s something to talk about during the break. At least you didn’t make a post asking people to help John Sterling come up with a horrendous home run call for Eric Hinske.

        • AP28

          Haha! Even funnier were the ideas people came up with. Terrible.

        • AP28

          Here are the ones Pete likes the best so far (from http://yankees.lohudblogs.com)

          1. Hinske with your best shot
          2. They’re hysteric for Eric.
          3. Pinch me, what a shot by Hinske
          4. The Masher from Menasha does it again
          5. Hinske, Farske, Outske

          Awful.

          • http://www.riveraveblues.com Joseph Pawlikowski

            Great. He’s totally going with No. 1

            I’ll just go with the ol’ Vin Scully. She’s gone!

            • http://twitter.com/tsjc68 tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

              HinSki The Catskills!!!
              Hinske hit it to Minsk-y!
              Holy fuckballs, a homer!

              • AP28

                Haha. Praying it stays “it is high, it is far, it is gone”. That’s good enough.

            • Salty Buggah

              Too bad he can’t use, “It’s a Monica Lewinski for Hinske!”

              • http://twitter.com/tsjc68 tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

                I haven’t seen an Englishman take a blow like that since Hugh Grant!

      • http://twitter.com/tsjc68 tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

        In his spare time, Brian Cashman is not setting up the Yankee Universe.

        But every time I play MLB ’09, I have to waste countless hours constantly adjusting the prices of hot dogs and foam fingers to placate the needs and whims of the fanbase.

        Because since it’s in the game, it’s in the game.

        • http://www.riveraveblues.com Joseph Pawlikowski

          Fuck that. I just have all the business on auto. More time to ponder whether Manny Ramirez or Adam Dunn would fit best with the Marlins.

          • http://twitter.com/tsjc68 tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

            Seriously, though, I want to know why some programmer at EA sports EVER thought people would enjoy setting the price of concessions and shit. Like, “You know what this game is missing? It’s not the ability to make three-way trades, or manager ejections, or shit like that… it’s the ability to decide whether 20 soda cart vendors will be enough, or if you need to up it to 25.

            Bo-Ring.

            • Salty Buggah

              Yes, that’s very boring. In my high school marketing class 3 years ago, we had this simulation game called Virtual Business. We had to run a store, setting up the shelves, ordering the food, paying rent, trying to keep up with competition, staffing, and all that stuff. It was VERY boring.

  • Tony

    They could at least have called it the Yankee Empire.

    • JohnnyC

      Is that you Larry?

      • Tony

        Larry? You mean Lanny? And I love the Evil Empire thing. It’s true, and I’m fine with it. I revel in it.

        • pat

          Larry Lucchino

    • http://www.riveraveblues.com Joseph Pawlikowski

      And they could introduce the lineup to the Imperial March, instead of the opponent.

      • http://twitter.com/tsjc68 tommiesmithjohncarlos a/k/a Ridiculous Upside

        Seconded.

        Why we choose to not embrace the subtle ironic pleasure of being the bad guy, I still don’t know.

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bzWSJG93P8

        • Tom Zig

          Honestly I think it would be awesome if they would introduce our lineup to the Imperial March.

          Someone get Cashman on the phone!

      • AP28

        The best idea I’ve ever read on RAB. I would rock a Darth Vader helmet to every game if that ever happens.

        • Salty Buggah

          This is how you would look like:

          http://cache.daylife.com/image.....i/610x.jpg

          • http://www.riveraveblues.com Benjamin Kabak

            There’s so much awesome with the picture. Darth Vader throwing out the first pitch to a giant anthropomorphic lion in Texas while a storm trooper looks on.

    • Jersey

      I already refer to the Yankee Empire in conversation. Trying to advance the meme. Yankee Universe is just stupid.

  • Salty Buggah

    Hank: “Red Sox Nation? What a bunch of [expletive] that is. That was a creation of the Red Sox and ESPN, which is filled with Red Sox fans. Go anywhere in America and you won’t see Red Sox hats and jackets, you’ll see Yankee hats and jackets. This is a Yankee country. We’re going to put the Yankees back on top and restore the universe to order.”

    The creation of Yankees Universe reminded me of this quote. I remember when he said that, he got blasted even though most of it is pretty much true.

    • http://www.puristbleedspinstripes.com Rebecca-Optimist Prime

      I miss Hank.

      His quotes were awesome.

      • Salty Buggah

        I wonder if John Henry will say anything about this on Twitter.

      • Tom Zig

        But his contract negotiation skills were not.

        I do miss his quotes…wonder what role he has on the Yanks these days?

        • pat

          I think he scoops the poop at Steinbrenner Stables.

  • pollo

    Do we need to state our ethnicity when filling out an application for mayor?

    Because that’s what happened last year in RSN’s mayor competition. Then all of a sudden the form changed. Shit was hilarious.

  • http://theyankeeuniverse.com Moshe Mandel

    So, anyone think this will help my traffic at theyankeeuniverse.com?

    • pat

      Maybe they’ll buy the URL name for like a million bucks.

      • JobaWockeeZ

        They just might.

  • JimT

    Copying is the highest form of flattery. There is after all only
    “One True Nation”!

    Long live “The Nation”!

    • Jersey

      Go eat your chowdah, fool

  • Mark B

    “Boston may have its nation, but we have an entire Universe. We win.”

    - Ben, you made my night….well done!

  • j

    f the red sawx, f boston, f the nation, f espn and i hope papelbon blows an eye vessel trying to stare down somebody someday. he’s so goddamn ugly when he starts huffing and puffing before a pitch. baseball isn’t theater you bitch!

    okay, just letting out some steam.

    for real though, RAB should do something like this too. lol.

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