Sep
17
The A.J. Burnett Black Eye Theory Thread
By
Both A.J. Burnett and Joe Girardi declined comment after the game about the righty’s new shiner, though A.J. did say it was not baseball related. So here’s your chance to tell us what you think happened. I bet Brian Cashman did it, you don’t think he shows up to games four hours away from home just to talk to the guys, do you?
(h/t James for the screen grab)
130 Comments»
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The Mason Williams Watch
AJ tried to say hi to Joe Buck
If it was something not to be ashamed of he would say it. Obviously the guy is a freak…this is not the first time he has shown up with oddly placed bruises, and the hand incident, and the lies. Of course, if he had 3 pitches I wouldn’t care. But he doesn’t I would not give him post season starts.
See what happens when you marry a big bone country gurl! Srep out of line and ….
Nope Cashman called him in the office, and gave him a knuckle sandwhich upper cut in the eye, then told him to get his act together.
unfortunately Cashman couldn´t hit the side of a barn if he tried.
I think he hit himself in the eye with one of his own pitches. He was working on a third pitch. It was a knuckleball. The ball rolled off the tips of his fingers. He bounced it about thirty feet in front of Cervelli. It ricocheted off of Cervelli’s mask bounced back towards the mound where A.J. stood in awe. After it hit A.J. in the eye it rolled back towards Cervelli who then put the tag on Posada who was rounding third trying to score because he thought they were still playing in the ALCS.
I think Jorge mollywhopped him after he demanded Cervelli catch him exclusively.
That’s funny!!
Not only funny…but rolling on the floor, unable to breathe funny. And not just his…some of the other theories are funny too. All kidding aside, though, I heard that Brian Cashman had hired a full time trainer.
Cervelli fist pump gone astray
Nah, only Shelley could accidentally give someone a black eye.
That picture is classic, I think it is from an old episode of Cops, or the Yanks locker room from tonight.
I think AJ was time warped back to the 1970′s Yankee team where this kind of thing happened everyday… Not so much in the 2010 Yankee club.
I blame Jeter’s acting.
Eiland didn’t say the safe word.
…I feel like there’s a line, and this thread is just on the precipice of it, and this comment went way way way way way way way over it.
He forgot the safe word, priceless.
Yeah. Ugh, not only am I going to hell, I didn’t even get the joke right. It should be like, AJ didn’t say the safe word. I fail.
I’m going too, bad thoughts enter my head way too much. See my theory above.
You still get credit for the funny, just docked for execution
Susan wasn’t in the radio booth for tonight’s game…just saying…
He didn’t forget it but HARDER is a bad safe word.
Maybe someone got revenge and hit him in the face with a pie a little too hard.
He got between Joba and the pre-game refreshments.
Yes!
I couldn’t watch the game…did he have this all day, or did it show up after he came off the mound?
Is his wife or gf a lefty?
is Kim Jones a lefty? someone check the post game to see which hand she holds the mic with
You might be on to something. Try asking him and watch him jump.
I’m sticking with my theory, Cashman came to Baltimore to whack him in the face
cashman: what did i tell you aj! eight innings of one run ball or else! *crack*
Didn’t Tim McCarver once say that those pies could get someone hurt? SEE SEE…MCCARVER TOLD YA.
Seeing as he’s been beating himself on the mound…it looks like he beat himself up at home too.
Burnett made an out of line comment to Eiland about his leave of absence and how it ruined AJ’s year. Dave then proceeded to crack AJ with the bat he was holding.
Cliff Lee tried to kill him in texas… he really wants to be a yankee.
Was Kevin Brown in Baltimore tonight?
AJ Burnett=K-Rod’s father in law
My suggestions:
-A way too enthusiastic Cervelli fist-pump at the pre-game spread
-Them hookers in Baltimore are supposed to be some kind of kinky
-Jeter helped him fake it
-He was reading the RAB archives and came across Bret’s posts
-Got in a fight with Adam Jones in defense of Ben’s honor
If I come up with any more, I’ll post em.
- I don’t know what it was, but A-Rod was somehow involved.
Post game locker room shenanigans.
The return of Cliff Johnson?
I am a girl with a really dirty mind.
do tell!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m gonna go with bar fight. This decade’s David Wells, except usually not that good, skinny, and not bald.
New problem: now someone has to slug him in the face prior to every start.
I’m sure this could be arranged
(iluaj!)
A.J. probably got fucked up last night by some old folks in St. Pete. He probably got snippy and they decided to take matters into their own hands and it was like the 1950s all over again.
wow thats funny …not even close
He got hit by one of his wild pitches that bounced back at him…
Joe declined to comment, so I’m going to assume AJ told him he wanted to be pulled out of the game in the second inning and Joe wasn’t having that.
Everyone knows Dirty Cash is a ninja…and you don’t fuck with the ninja
AJ Burnett walked over Mo’s practice mound during the pregame. Mo didn’t like it.
#1 – The first rule of Fight Club is, you do not talk about Fight Club.
#2 – The second rule of Fight Club is, you DO NOT talk about Fight Club.
This.
I think his wife socked him one for stinking it up for too long;)
AJ told Jeter he should take a 1-year deal at the league minimum next year.
AJ and those shaving cream pies to the face all year, the idiot almost broke jorge’s nose, I think that black eye of his came from over a million yankee fans wishing that they could just punch him in the face one time, it would help lots of us sleep better I’m sure!
If it was something not to be ashamed of he would say it. Obviously the guy is a freak…this is not the first time he has shown up with oddly placed bruises, and the hand incident, and the lies. Of course, if he had 3 pitches I wouldn’t care. But he doesn’t I would not give him post season starts.
Are we sure it’s a shiner? With Burnett it’s possible it’s new ink.
AJ has finally given the Yankees some length tonight. Hopefull CC and Andy will follow suit and give the the main cogs in this bullpen some much needed rest.
Euphoria aside, we are still 1-9 in RISP and with 11 LOB. The team overall offense needs to pick up with the playoff looming.
Just a friendly help out, but this might be considered off topic for this specific thread.
Stupid question but I only got to see the last inning, was AJ’s eye bruised before the game started or did it happen during the game in between innings??
I’m guessing it was. Someone in the game thread pointed it out during the 3rd or 4th inning, but it was hard to see until the YES cameras caught him without his hat.
Did anyone check to see whether Kevin Brown has a broken hand?
Was that in 2004?
AJ has a Pee Wee Herman quality to it in the picture above. I think Axisa photoshopped it.
Arod’s giant genitalia poked him in the eye in the post game shower. That jack took grande juevos amigos.
Et Tu Burnett?
Cameron Diaz’d ?
it MIGHT have been inadvertent since AJ pitched very well tonight….still…strap in for a long night Cameron. The most impressive part of Arod’s HR is hitting a major league pitch out of the ballpark with that wheelbarrow in the way to carry his huge nuts.
The roids prob shrunk his balls in half, IMO
im drunk yankees win aj is is a scrapper!!!!
Someone should give him a black eye before each start in the playoffs.
A-Rod and Burnett were having dinner at Hooter’s, and when the waitress discovered that A-Rod didn’t tip, she blamed Burnett and punched him instead.
1 year deal at the league minimum… Hahaha.
Also, speaking of that HR, anyone know how to look up A-Rod’s stats since coming out of the DL? I went to fangraphs to look it up, but I just realized I don’t know how to do it; or does one use another site for this?
Baseball-Reference.com. Go to Alex’s player page, then pick his 2010 Game Logs from the pull down menu. Click the first date, then the second and it’ll spit it out for you. It won’t include tonight’s game, though. Not til the morning.
I was just about to go there. Thanks a million!
Go to BB-Ref, look at Game Logs by this year, then click to summarize. Though they won’t update before tomorrow morning. For the record, since coming off the DL, he’s hitting .330/.390/.556/.946 in 41 PA, not including tonight.
Numbers that surely went up; thanks!
THANK YOU MAY I HAVE ANOTHER!!
AJ Burnett must have married Brett Myers. That’s the only logical explanation.
Maybe Dallas Braden thought HE was pitching in Baltimore today. Guess now we how they do it in the “two oh five”
Yeesh. That picture looks like it might have been a Pablo Picasso painting, it’s so disjointed.
Having given his reputation as a major league pitcher a black eye this year, it just began to physically manifest
Nick Johnson tripped and smacked into AJ. Broke his other wrist while he was at it.
Tried to grope Ines Sainz at the Jets practice
I would suggest Jeter did it, but he hasn’t hit all season.
Good one!
zing!
Win. thread over.
Maybe AJ punched a revolving door this time…
wonder if they ever found that gorilla that escaped from the zoo, and punched AJ in the face ?
Posada threw him a wild pitch… payback time!
I can tell you who didn’t do it…Javy Vazquez. He doesn’t hit anyone. Everyone hits him.
I kicked his ass.
Thanks for your support guys.
HIP MOTHERFUCKING HIP.
Silly people,
IT
WAS
ZIMMER
He was in the barn trying to hit the brightside, but couldnt, and hit the cock instead, who took matters into his own talons.
Maybe his wife beat him with a golf club? Or tried to rape him?
AJ has a dream and Billy Matin clocked him ……can you imagine these 2 together ?
I don’t know who clocked him but the dude is starting to look like Pa Kettle. All he needs is a coonskin hat to really complete the hillbilly look.
Just what I was thinking. Yee-haaa!
I don’t care how, why, or who, just so long as it happens again before his next start.
Love these comments – they are hilarious!
Mosh pit related injury.
I think Eminem hit him after he whacked Vincent Chase in the season finale of Entourage.
Someone told La Russa that he was an illegal.
Did anyone else notice Joe’s appearance last night? It looked like he had a fat lip during the post game interview. I’m convinced AJ and Joe got into a fist fight.
Joe G, always looks like that.
good gene pool
Kim Jones love tap?
carl pavano was driving around in his new ferrari, (purchased with all the money he still has from his yankee contract) and slammed into A.J.’s pickup truck. Consequently, carl will wait half a year before he tells the twins.
Gardner had a little bruise below his left eye. AJ’s black-eye would be from a left cross and Gardner missed the week with a sore wrist …. hmmmmmm?
1)Someone didn’t like getting pie (not with his ERA)
2) During his pitching motion, he accidentally punched himself.
3) Distracted, he missed catching the ball from Posada.
4) Posada got upset and charged the mound (notice he got hurt too)
If it wasn’t baseball related, it had to be personal. If it’s personal it either has to be a fight out in public or privately at home. It wouldn’t be a public fight because anyone who got into a fight with AJ would be looking for ways to sue his ass so the cops would be called and it would be photographed by dozens of cell phones and released onto the internet.
My guess is a family thing. Someone in his family (maybe his wife) socked him.
He got sucker punched by “Bad A.J.”
he was on his knees with a black wig and got confused with snookie
FMA
David Cone can explain
Lance Berkman was playing ping pong in the club house.
was hanging out late with david wells
It wasn’t actually A.J Burnett. Come on, we actually won the game.
I think a fan finally let A.J. know how he felt about his pitching this season.
Ok here you go, remember AJs start before the black eye appeared, a grounder was hit past Mark Teixeira ,AJ stared him down like Teixeira missed played it,lol..after the game Mark confronted AJ they argueed and Mark punched AJ out…there you go
He was probably juiced in a biker bar and someone called him the million dollar punk and clocked his ass. Something I’d love to do. Yankee blue does not run through his veins.
If it was clubhouse related, then Jorge has the tools and motivation. AJ shot his mouth off (imagine that.)
I THINK HE DID A THREE STOOGES ON HIMSELF WHEN MO TOLD HIM TO HIT HIS FIST
it was from his wife….who found out he was banging Kim Jones
Dave Eiland gave him a slap after AJ made some stupid comments. That’s why Eiland’s not coming back…just kidding of course, but it sure looks that why after yesterday.
Ive been hearing rumors that Dave Eiland is an alcoholic, and he and AJ got into some sort of altercation, that would explain Eiland’s mysterious abscence, he could have been in rehab. The Yankees didnt say anything to respect his privacy, and quietly let him go after the season. This would also explain why even though they said AJ was “working with Eiland” there was no progress; the two obviously had a problem with each other and Eiland’s drinking didnt help.
AJ rocks and you guys are nuts. Give the guy a break
And stay the Frick out of his personal life. Why do you really care.
He’s a way better athlete than any if you losers will ever be!!!
Aj is not in control of his demons. What happened to his face is his business What happens on the hill is ours.. We are the fans, we make the yankees what they are in concert with the players. Say what you will about clemens but he was in control of clemens. I believe that six months in clemens boot camp and AJ would be in control of his talent. Clemens gave petite 5 extra years why not AJ. I think AJ is a quitter. This can be trained out of him. I believe Eiland tried to teach him what he already knew. Since the marines are not an option petite is. The problem is AJ is he in denial, does he know he’s a quitter. AJ is a “NO MAS” player. A guy who mistreats himself for a home run. Mental toughness it can be acquired
Did anyone notice A.J. ripping his jersey off as he headed down the dugout corridor? Probably one of the jersey buttons shot up with such force right into his eye. (Not sure that this couldd be considered “baseball-related.”)
Whoops, my bad. I thought this just happened last night.