Sep
17

The A.J. Burnett Black Eye Theory Thread

By

Both A.J. Burnett and Joe Girardi declined comment after the game about the righty’s new shiner, though A.J. did say it was not baseball related. So here’s your chance to tell us what you think happened. I bet Brian Cashman did it, you don’t think he shows up to games four hours away from home just to talk to the guys, do you?

(h/t James for the screen grab)

Categories : Whimsy

130 Comments»

    • JK says:

      If it was something not to be ashamed of he would say it. Obviously the guy is a freak…this is not the first time he has shown up with oddly placed bruises, and the hand incident, and the lies. Of course, if he had 3 pitches I wouldn’t care. But he doesn’t I would not give him post season starts.

    • kip says:

      Nope Cashman called him in the office, and gave him a knuckle sandwhich upper cut in the eye, then told him to get his act together.

    • Alfonso says:

      I think he hit himself in the eye with one of his own pitches. He was working on a third pitch. It was a knuckleball. The ball rolled off the tips of his fingers. He bounced it about thirty feet in front of Cervelli. It ricocheted off of Cervelli’s mask bounced back towards the mound where A.J. stood in awe. After it hit A.J. in the eye it rolled back towards Cervelli who then put the tag on Posada who was rounding third trying to score because he thought they were still playing in the ALCS.

  1. Mickey Scheister says:

    I think Jorge mollywhopped him after he demanded Cervelli catch him exclusively.

  2. Sam says:

    Cervelli fist pump gone astray

  3. Mark says:

    That picture is classic, I think it is from an old episode of Cops, or the Yanks locker room from tonight.

    • Tammy says:

      I think AJ was time warped back to the 1970′s Yankee team where this kind of thing happened everyday… Not so much in the 2010 Yankee club.

  4. I blame Jeter’s acting.

  5. bexarama says:

    Eiland didn’t say the safe word.

    …I feel like there’s a line, and this thread is just on the precipice of it, and this comment went way way way way way way way over it.

  6. Maybe someone got revenge and hit him in the face with a pie a little too hard.

  7. Rob NY says:

    He got between Joba and the pre-game refreshments.

  8. whozat says:

    I couldn’t watch the game…did he have this all day, or did it show up after he came off the mound?

  9. yankeefan says:

    Is his wife or gf a lefty?

  10. Cy Pettitte says:

    I’m sticking with my theory, Cashman came to Baltimore to whack him in the face

  11. j_Yankees says:

    Didn’t Tim McCarver once say that those pies could get someone hurt? SEE SEE…MCCARVER TOLD YA.

  12. Barrows says:

    Seeing as he’s been beating himself on the mound…it looks like he beat himself up at home too.

  13. danny frisco says:

    Burnett made an out of line comment to Eiland about his leave of absence and how it ruined AJ’s year. Dave then proceeded to crack AJ with the bat he was holding.

  14. It'sATarp says:

    Cliff Lee tried to kill him in texas… he really wants to be a yankee.

  15. Was Kevin Brown in Baltimore tonight?

  16. Sam says:

    AJ Burnett=K-Rod’s father in law

  17. My suggestions:

    -A way too enthusiastic Cervelli fist-pump at the pre-game spread

    -Them hookers in Baltimore are supposed to be some kind of kinky

    -Jeter helped him fake it

    -He was reading the RAB archives and came across Bret’s posts

    -Got in a fight with Adam Jones in defense of Ben’s honor

    If I come up with any more, I’ll post em.

  18. bonestock94 says:

    I’m gonna go with bar fight. This decade’s David Wells, except usually not that good, skinny, and not bald.

  19. I Am Not The Droids You're Looking For says:

    New problem: now someone has to slug him in the face prior to every start.

  20. Carlosologist says:

    A.J. probably got fucked up last night by some old folks in St. Pete. He probably got snippy and they decided to take matters into their own hands and it was like the 1950s all over again.

  21. RC says:

    He got hit by one of his wild pitches that bounced back at him…

  22. Kit says:

    Joe declined to comment, so I’m going to assume AJ told him he wanted to be pulled out of the game in the second inning and Joe wasn’t having that.

  23. China Joe says:

    Everyone knows Dirty Cash is a ninja…and you don’t fuck with the ninja

  24. Reggie C. says:

    AJ Burnett walked over Mo’s practice mound during the pregame. Mo didn’t like it.

  25. GG2010 says:

    #1 – The first rule of Fight Club is, you do not talk about Fight Club.

    #2 – The second rule of Fight Club is, you DO NOT talk about Fight Club.

  26. currambayankees says:

    I think his wife socked him one for stinking it up for too long;)

  27. UWS says:

    AJ told Jeter he should take a 1-year deal at the league minimum next year.

  28. Thomas NJ says:

    AJ and those shaving cream pies to the face all year, the idiot almost broke jorge’s nose, I think that black eye of his came from over a million yankee fans wishing that they could just punch him in the face one time, it would help lots of us sleep better I’m sure!

  29. JK says:

    If it was something not to be ashamed of he would say it. Obviously the guy is a freak…this is not the first time he has shown up with oddly placed bruises, and the hand incident, and the lies. Of course, if he had 3 pitches I wouldn’t care. But he doesn’t I would not give him post season starts.

  30. Brad Toughy says:

    Are we sure it’s a shiner? With Burnett it’s possible it’s new ink.

  31. Dream of Electric Sheep says:

    AJ has finally given the Yankees some length tonight. Hopefull CC and Andy will follow suit and give the the main cogs in this bullpen some much needed rest.

    Euphoria aside, we are still 1-9 in RISP and with 11 LOB. The team overall offense needs to pick up with the playoff looming.

  32. BigBlueAL says:

    Stupid question but I only got to see the last inning, was AJ’s eye bruised before the game started or did it happen during the game in between innings??

    • Kit says:

      I’m guessing it was. Someone in the game thread pointed it out during the 3rd or 4th inning, but it was hard to see until the YES cameras caught him without his hat.

  33. Jordan says:

    Did anyone check to see whether Kevin Brown has a broken hand?

  34. Dream of Electric Sheep says:

    AJ has a Pee Wee Herman quality to it in the picture above. I think Axisa photoshopped it.

  35. Jonathan says:

    Arod’s giant genitalia poked him in the eye in the post game shower. That jack took grande juevos amigos.

  36. Wooderson says:

    im drunk yankees win aj is is a scrapper!!!!

  37. a plethora of pinatas says:

    Someone should give him a black eye before each start in the playoffs.

  38. A-Rod and Burnett were having dinner at Hooter’s, and when the waitress discovered that A-Rod didn’t tip, she blamed Burnett and punched him instead.

  39. ecks says:

    1 year deal at the league minimum… Hahaha.

    Also, speaking of that HR, anyone know how to look up A-Rod’s stats since coming out of the DL? I went to fangraphs to look it up, but I just realized I don’t know how to do it; or does one use another site for this?

  40. Copperhead65 says:

    THANK YOU MAY I HAVE ANOTHER!!

  41. Andy_C_23 says:

    AJ Burnett must have married Brett Myers. That’s the only logical explanation.

  42. Kaz says:

    Maybe Dallas Braden thought HE was pitching in Baltimore today. Guess now we how they do it in the “two oh five”

  43. Pat D says:

    Yeesh. That picture looks like it might have been a Pablo Picasso painting, it’s so disjointed.

  44. Gemit says:

    Having given his reputation as a major league pitcher a black eye this year, it just began to physically manifest

  45. Nick Johnson tripped and smacked into AJ. Broke his other wrist while he was at it.

  46. Rob K says:

    Tried to grope Ines Sainz at the Jets practice

  47. Jerkface says:

    I would suggest Jeter did it, but he hasn’t hit all season.

  48. SCT says:

    Maybe AJ punched a revolving door this time…

  49. vinny-b says:

    wonder if they ever found that gorilla that escaped from the zoo, and punched AJ in the face ?

  50. RC says:

    Posada threw him a wild pitch… payback time!

  51. Brian says:

    I can tell you who didn’t do it…Javy Vazquez. He doesn’t hit anyone. Everyone hits him.

  52. Jorge says:

    I kicked his ass.

    Thanks for your support guys.

  53. epaminondas says:

    Silly people,

    IT

    WAS

    ZIMMER

  54. Ted Varrick says:

    He was in the barn trying to hit the brightside, but couldnt, and hit the cock instead, who took matters into his own talons.

  55. icebird753 says:

    Maybe his wife beat him with a golf club? Or tried to rape him?

  56. JoeNY07 says:

    AJ has a dream and Billy Matin clocked him ……can you imagine these 2 together ?

  57. Kurt says:

    I don’t know who clocked him but the dude is starting to look like Pa Kettle. All he needs is a coonskin hat to really complete the hillbilly look.

  58. Mister D says:

    I don’t care how, why, or who, just so long as it happens again before his next start.

  59. Linda says:

    Love these comments – they are hilarious!

  60. jay destro says:

    Mosh pit related injury.

  61. David M says:

    I think Eminem hit him after he whacked Vincent Chase in the season finale of Entourage.

  62. T-Dubs says:

    Someone told La Russa that he was an illegal.

  63. Sara says:

    Did anyone else notice Joe’s appearance last night? It looked like he had a fat lip during the post game interview. I’m convinced AJ and Joe got into a fist fight.

  64. aj braun says:

    Kim Jones love tap?

  65. don kennedy says:

    carl pavano was driving around in his new ferrari, (purchased with all the money he still has from his yankee contract) and slammed into A.J.’s pickup truck. Consequently, carl will wait half a year before he tells the twins.

  66. Luke says:

    Gardner had a little bruise below his left eye. AJ’s black-eye would be from a left cross and Gardner missed the week with a sore wrist …. hmmmmmm?

  67. CW123 says:

    1)Someone didn’t like getting pie (not with his ERA)
    2) During his pitching motion, he accidentally punched himself.
    3) Distracted, he missed catching the ball from Posada.
    4) Posada got upset and charged the mound (notice he got hurt too)

  68. charliechoochoo says:

    If it wasn’t baseball related, it had to be personal. If it’s personal it either has to be a fight out in public or privately at home. It wouldn’t be a public fight because anyone who got into a fight with AJ would be looking for ways to sue his ass so the cops would be called and it would be photographed by dozens of cell phones and released onto the internet.

    My guess is a family thing. Someone in his family (maybe his wife) socked him.

  69. He got sucker punched by “Bad A.J.”

  70. stfuAbomb says:

    he was on his knees with a black wig and got confused with snookie

  71. CapitalT says:

    FMA

    David Cone can explain

  72. steve g says:

    Lance Berkman was playing ping pong in the club house.

  73. stfuAbomb says:

    was hanging out late with david wells

  74. Boom says:

    It wasn’t actually A.J Burnett. Come on, we actually won the game.

  75. Michele says:

    I think a fan finally let A.J. know how he felt about his pitching this season.

  76. Jack says:

    Ok here you go, remember AJs start before the black eye appeared, a grounder was hit past Mark Teixeira ,AJ stared him down like Teixeira missed played it,lol..after the game Mark confronted AJ they argueed and Mark punched AJ out…there you go

  77. Neal says:

    He was probably juiced in a biker bar and someone called him the million dollar punk and clocked his ass. Something I’d love to do. Yankee blue does not run through his veins.

  78. CaseyMartin says:

    If it was clubhouse related, then Jorge has the tools and motivation. AJ shot his mouth off (imagine that.)

  79. slade says:

    I THINK HE DID A THREE STOOGES ON HIMSELF WHEN MO TOLD HIM TO HIT HIS FIST

  80. JoeSchmoe says:

    it was from his wife….who found out he was banging Kim Jones

  81. Tea Ball says:

    Dave Eiland gave him a slap after AJ made some stupid comments. That’s why Eiland’s not coming back…just kidding of course, but it sure looks that why after yesterday.

  82. bakekrukow says:

    Ive been hearing rumors that Dave Eiland is an alcoholic, and he and AJ got into some sort of altercation, that would explain Eiland’s mysterious abscence, he could have been in rehab. The Yankees didnt say anything to respect his privacy, and quietly let him go after the season. This would also explain why even though they said AJ was “working with Eiland” there was no progress; the two obviously had a problem with each other and Eiland’s drinking didnt help.

  83. PJ says:

    AJ rocks and you guys are nuts. Give the guy a break
    And stay the Frick out of his personal life. Why do you really care.
    He’s a way better athlete than any if you losers will ever be!!!

  84. Greg Davenport says:

    Aj is not in control of his demons. What happened to his face is his business What happens on the hill is ours.. We are the fans, we make the yankees what they are in concert with the players. Say what you will about clemens but he was in control of clemens. I believe that six months in clemens boot camp and AJ would be in control of his talent. Clemens gave petite 5 extra years why not AJ. I think AJ is a quitter. This can be trained out of him. I believe Eiland tried to teach him what he already knew. Since the marines are not an option petite is. The problem is AJ is he in denial, does he know he’s a quitter. AJ is a “NO MAS” player. A guy who mistreats himself for a home run. Mental toughness it can be acquired

  85. Rollie says:

    Did anyone notice A.J. ripping his jersey off as he headed down the dugout corridor? Probably one of the jersey buttons shot up with such force right into his eye. (Not sure that this couldd be considered “baseball-related.”)

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