An Ode to Raul

Key to Game 3: Kuroda & Martin vs. Flaherty
On A-Rod and pinch-hitting

The night was getting late,
The base paths hardly trod,
Girardi pondered fate
And pinch hit for poor Arod.

The 40-year old bald guy
Sauntered to the plate
And with a timely mighty swing
Sent Arod down the grate.

Oh, Arod tried to smile
But he knew that he had died
A washed up veteran showed him
How to give the ball a ride.

Old Raul brought joy to thousands
Who were mired in a pout
His stellar blast consigned thirteen
To his new home–the dugout.

(via Wayne Kabak, Ben’s father)

Key to Game 3: Kuroda & Martin vs. Flaherty
On A-Rod and pinch-hitting
  • Rich in NJ

    Nice, but poetic license aside, I think the fact that Ibanez hit a HR (rather than making an out), was the best thing that could have happened to A-Rod because it obviated the need to focus on his failures (as unfair as that it because other players have been as bad or worse).

  • T-Dubs

    Nice to see Ben hasn’t murdered his father.

  • Marsha

    Just to be clear, this poem was written by Benjamin’s dad. And all prejudice aside, I think it’s great. It was started right after Raul’s first HR and completed just as he hit the second one.

  • Drew


  • Joe F

    After he hit the first home run my friend and I looked at each other and said “HOLY SHIT!” After getting mobbed in 203 we discussed what might possibly happen to Alex now for a short time. (We were watching the greatest game ever!)

    We talked about possibilities that probably wouldn’t happen like trades and such. I don’t see him being a bench player because of his money and he’s not THAT bad.

    All I know is Raul better DH today no matter what. Alex should be playing third. He’s a better defender than Chavez I think. That’s Alex’s value to the team right now. Why take it away?

    Side note. I was on t.v. for Raul’s home run! It’s on my twitter. Follow me.

    • jjyank

      You’re not luring me into twitter that easy.

      • Joe F

        It’s blurry, but in real time on the video I can see me throwing my arms up and jumping. Forever in history.

        • Robinson Tilapia (I BELIEVE IN PHIL HUGHES)

          By that same criteria, I can claim to have been on the cover of the New York Times once.

          The biggest Twitter-converting powers here probably belong to Erica, although the FIP powers really only work on one guy here.

          • jjyank

            Heh. Like the handle alteration though.

          • Joe F

            The pic is blurry. However, in real time I can tell it’s me very easily.

            Also fine don’t join the best social media site ever!

          • Nedro

            I was at the Buckner Game. Can’t see me though.

  • The DonSlaught

    IF the Yankees could trade A-Rod, I have to think Cash would certainly look hard into it.

    The only potential taker I can think of would be LAD – and after what was done this past year, that really shouldn’t seem THAT far-fetched.

    • Robinson Tilapia (I BELIEVE IN PHIL HUGHES)

      Other than Beckett, whose commitment is certainly shorter, you’re talking about LA acquiring guys who are markedly younger and not as clearly on the decline, if they are at all, than Alex is. It’s not even close.

      Alex Rodriguez is going to be a Yankee for a while. You lived through Don Slaught at catcher. You can live here.

    • Steve (different one)

      I’ll save everyone the suspense: they can’t trade him.

  • Bob Buttons the Cat

    Pretty cool poem, short and sweet.
    And certainly helped me learn the word “saunter”

  • Robinson Tilapia

    Funny to read this just after what I think was a comment from Ben himself on a neighborhood blog.

    Great job, Mr. Kabak. You and Raul and take a bow.

    • Benjamin Kabak

      On Here’s Park Slope? Guilty as charged.

      • Robinson Tilapia (I BELIEVE IN PHIL HUGHES)

        Yup. Anything beats the blue facade. I’m a block and a half away from there, actually.

        I will admit to trolling on HPS.

  • Uncle Mike

    Oh, somewhere in this fabled land
    the sun is shining bright.
    The band is playing somewhere
    and somewhere hearts are light.
    And somewhere men are laughing
    and somewhere children shout.
    That somewhere is New York City.
    Mighty Raul hit it out!

    • Mike M

      Well done sir.

  • Sam

    so much depends

    future hall of famer raul

    pinch hitting for

    and hitting a

    • Rich in NJ

      Shorter version: you can’t predict baseball…

      I wonder if another starter (Swisher, for example) would have handled it as well as A-Rod did.

    • Wayne Kabak

      Sam, you win the prize for literacy. My doggerel can’t compete with WCW. Nice work.

    • Bob Buttons the Cat

      In my head William Shatner is reading this out loud.

  • Andrew

    makes 30 million? this we know
    He can’t really hit a baseball though
    you will not see Joe send him out
    It’s time to give A-rod a blow

    should I boo or should I cheer
    this pinch hit move fills me with fear
    it’s a very ballsy move to make
    I think I need another beer

    The stadium does a double take
    To make sure there is no mistake
    of course Raul would launch one deep
    Alex just can’t catch a break

    That ball is high and far and deep
    These are tears of joy I weep
    nothing about that bomb was cheap
    all I can say is holy BLEEP.

    • Jose M. Vazquez


  • Adam
  • Robinson Tilapia (I BELIEVE IN PHIL HUGHES)

    All these Kabaks submitting poems all of a sudden. That’s a mighty long holiday gift list you’re going to have there, Ben.

  • tyrone sharpton

    No amount of weed smoking could get a Yankees fan more pumped about last night

  • Eddards

    Eddard was right
    And so was Joe
    Raul is so cool
    Jerry Sandusky is on death row

    Hiroki Kuroda was dealing
    And so was Miguel
    But no Yankee was hitting
    And RAB was hell

    But up came Raul
    Susan screamed oh lawd
    Yanks win again
    No thanks to ARod

    • Robinson Tilapia (I BELIEVE IN PHIL HUGHES)

      You, sir, are a fake Kabak.

      Sandusky’s also not on death row.

      • Joe F

        That line wasn’t needed.

        • MannyGeee

          ummmm, it rhymed, therefore it was needed.


  • Anthony

    Stuart a’s favorite poem.

  • CP

    I’m not sure that it’s an acceptable ode to Raul without a Voldemort reference.

    • Marsha

      Wait, are you a member of our family? Victoria and I always refer to Ibanez as Voldemort. Unfortunately, poet Wayne has never read any HP.

      • Victoria

        He looks so much like Voldemort that everyone has come up with that independently.

        • Wayne’s World

          Does he know that he looks like Voldemort?

  • Cuso

    Your pentameter is off, but otherwise decent.

    • Wayne’s World

      You are absolutely right. I whipped that out during the game and contemplated working on the meter but decided that life is too short. Good catch.

  • Rev Max

    Oh man, terrible, the writing and the content. Fangraphs had a piece recently about how – historically – aroid performs better and is more clutch than the captain himself. I’m no Arod lover but let’s get off his back, he’s not washed up yet. And let’s certainly lay off the poetry, please…

    • Wayne Kabak

      It’s all in fun, Max, fun. Don’t take it so seriously. It also wasn’t meant to be literature. Sorry you thought it was terrible.

      • Ted Nelson

        The terrible aspect, in my opinion, is that you’ve decided to attack ARod more than celebrate Raul.

        That’s not in fun. That’s in spite.

  • ThatstheMelkyMesaWaysa

    Now that’s #KABAKTOBER

  • awesomeo

    hip hip RAUL!

  • Ted Nelson

    I’m not sure why Raul’s success has to be negative for ARod. They are teammates and ARod was the first guy there to congratulate him. For all you know he is playing through great pain in his hand and can barely hold a bat.

    You’ve managed to take a great moment in Yankee history and turn in into an attack on ARod. Totally unnecessary in my opinion.

    • Joe Pawlikowski

      Go cry about it.

    • Wayne Kabak

      Ted, you’re taking this all too seriously. Just have fun, that’s what baseball is all about. Heros, bums, goats and winners–paychecks that create expectations and performances that belie paychecks. Today’s loser is tomorrow’s winner. And every day is a new day. The cheers, the boos, the razzing, the whistles. Arod knows what comes with the territory and he can take it.

  • Norm Trevena

    There’s no crying in baseball!
    Ted,lighten up