Oct
11

An Ode to Raul

By

The night was getting late,
The base paths hardly trod,
Girardi pondered fate
And pinch hit for poor Arod.

The 40-year old bald guy
Sauntered to the plate
And with a timely mighty swing
Sent Arod down the grate.

Oh, Arod tried to smile
But he knew that he had died
A washed up veteran showed him
How to give the ball a ride.

Old Raul brought joy to thousands
Who were mired in a pout
His stellar blast consigned thirteen
To his new home–the dugout.

(via Wayne Kabak, Ben’s father)

Categories : Guest Columns, Playoffs

49 Comments»

  1. Rich in NJ says:

    Nice, but poetic license aside, I think the fact that Ibanez hit a HR (rather than making an out), was the best thing that could have happened to A-Rod because it obviated the need to focus on his failures (as unfair as that it because other players have been as bad or worse).

  2. T-Dubs says:

    Nice to see Ben hasn’t murdered his father.

  3. Marsha says:

    Just to be clear, this poem was written by Benjamin’s dad. And all prejudice aside, I think it’s great. It was started right after Raul’s first HR and completed just as he hit the second one.

  4. Joe F says:

    After he hit the first home run my friend and I looked at each other and said “HOLY SHIT!” After getting mobbed in 203 we discussed what might possibly happen to Alex now for a short time. (We were watching the greatest game ever!)

    We talked about possibilities that probably wouldn’t happen like trades and such. I don’t see him being a bench player because of his money and he’s not THAT bad.

    All I know is Raul better DH today no matter what. Alex should be playing third. He’s a better defender than Chavez I think. That’s Alex’s value to the team right now. Why take it away?

    Side note. I was on t.v. for Raul’s home run! It’s on my twitter. Follow me.

  5. The DonSlaught says:

    IF the Yankees could trade A-Rod, I have to think Cash would certainly look hard into it.

    The only potential taker I can think of would be LAD – and after what was done this past year, that really shouldn’t seem THAT far-fetched.

    • Robinson Tilapia (I BELIEVE IN PHIL HUGHES) says:

      Other than Beckett, whose commitment is certainly shorter, you’re talking about LA acquiring guys who are markedly younger and not as clearly on the decline, if they are at all, than Alex is. It’s not even close.

      Alex Rodriguez is going to be a Yankee for a while. You lived through Don Slaught at catcher. You can live here.

    • Steve (different one) says:

      I’ll save everyone the suspense: they can’t trade him.

  6. Bob Buttons the Cat says:

    Pretty cool poem, short and sweet.
    And certainly helped me learn the word “saunter”

  7. Robinson Tilapia says:

    Funny to read this just after what I think was a comment from Ben himself on a neighborhood blog.

    Great job, Mr. Kabak. You and Raul and take a bow.

  8. Uncle Mike says:

    Oh, somewhere in this fabled land
    the sun is shining bright.
    The band is playing somewhere
    and somewhere hearts are light.
    And somewhere men are laughing
    and somewhere children shout.
    That somewhere is New York City.
    Mighty Raul hit it out!

  9. Sam says:

    so much depends
    upon

    future hall of famer raul
    ibanez

    pinch hitting for
    a-rod

    and hitting a
    dinger

  10. Andrew says:

    makes 30 million? this we know
    He can’t really hit a baseball though
    you will not see Joe send him out
    It’s time to give A-rod a blow

    should I boo or should I cheer
    this pinch hit move fills me with fear
    it’s a very ballsy move to make
    I think I need another beer

    The stadium does a double take
    To make sure there is no mistake
    of course Raul would launch one deep
    Alex just can’t catch a break

    That ball is high and far and deep
    These are tears of joy I weep
    nothing about that bomb was cheap
    all I can say is holy BLEEP.

  11. Robinson Tilapia (I BELIEVE IN PHIL HUGHES) says:

    All these Kabaks submitting poems all of a sudden. That’s a mighty long holiday gift list you’re going to have there, Ben.

  12. tyrone sharpton says:

    No amount of weed smoking could get a Yankees fan more pumped about last night

  13. Eddards says:

    Eddard was right
    And so was Joe
    Raul is so cool
    Jerry Sandusky is on death row

    Hiroki Kuroda was dealing
    And so was Miguel
    But no Yankee was hitting
    And RAB was hell

    But up came Raul
    Susan screamed oh lawd
    Yanks win again
    No thanks to ARod

  14. Anthony says:

    Stuart a’s favorite poem.

  15. CP says:

    I’m not sure that it’s an acceptable ode to Raul without a Voldemort reference.

  16. Cuso says:

    Your pentameter is off, but otherwise decent.

    • Wayne's World says:

      You are absolutely right. I whipped that out during the game and contemplated working on the meter but decided that life is too short. Good catch.

  17. Rev Max says:

    Oh man, terrible, the writing and the content. Fangraphs had a piece recently about how – historically – aroid performs better and is more clutch than the captain himself. I’m no Arod lover but let’s get off his back, he’s not washed up yet. And let’s certainly lay off the poetry, please…

    • Wayne Kabak says:

      It’s all in fun, Max, fun. Don’t take it so seriously. It also wasn’t meant to be literature. Sorry you thought it was terrible.

      • Ted Nelson says:

        The terrible aspect, in my opinion, is that you’ve decided to attack ARod more than celebrate Raul.

        That’s not in fun. That’s in spite.

  18. ThatstheMelkyMesaWaysa says:

    Now that’s #KABAKTOBER

  19. awesomeo says:

    hip hip RAUL!

  20. Ted Nelson says:

    I’m not sure why Raul’s success has to be negative for ARod. They are teammates and ARod was the first guy there to congratulate him. For all you know he is playing through great pain in his hand and can barely hold a bat.

    You’ve managed to take a great moment in Yankee history and turn in into an attack on ARod. Totally unnecessary in my opinion.

    • Wayne Kabak says:

      Ted, you’re taking this all too seriously. Just have fun, that’s what baseball is all about. Heros, bums, goats and winners–paychecks that create expectations and performances that belie paychecks. Today’s loser is tomorrow’s winner. And every day is a new day. The cheers, the boos, the razzing, the whistles. Arod knows what comes with the territory and he can take it.

  21. Norm Trevena says:

    There’s no crying in baseball!
    Ted,lighten up

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