Open Thread: Ivan Nova is available


As the title suggests, Ivan Nova is available. Very available. Available for bar mitzvahs, weddings, personal appearances, coaching drills, a round of golf, all sorts of neat stuff. It’ll cost you though, at least four grand per appearance through Thuzio. You know, before the Marvin Miller came along, players routinely had to get offseason jobs just to make ends meet. Nova earned a bit more than $527,000 this season and presumably isn’t hurting for cash, but celebrity doesn’t last forever. He’s gotta cash in while he can.

Anyway, here is tonight’s open thread. The Jets and Titans is your Monday Night Football game, plus the Knicks are playing as well. Talk about either game or anything else here, go nuts.

[h/t Dayn Perry]

Categories : Open Thread


  1. Rooting for U.S. Steel says:

    Gratuity extra, I’m presuming?

  2. Rich in NJ says:

    At this point, Nova should pay people to be able to come events.

  3. Kevin Ocala, Fl says:

    Well THAT made my day. Guess he’ not counting on getting any playoff money. So it kind of makes sense……

  4. Matt says:

    So this is what this offseason has come to. My god. Sign some players

    • Ted Nelson says:

      To play where exactly?

      When you only have like two holes in your line-up, you don’t really need to sign many players.

      • Laz says:

        It’s not even really 2 holes. Once arod comes back by June you figure one of him, youk, teix is the dh. Wouldn’t mind if they could actually get Berkman, because he can also play a bit of RF.

        • Ted Nelson says:

          True. Maybe 1.5. I was thinking RH OF bat more than DH, but it’s a good point that it’s not even a starting spot.

        • Rivera Venue Blues says:

          Right now we have

          C Romine/Cervelli/Stewart
          1B Teixeira
          2B Cano
          3B Youkilis
          SS Jeter
          LF Granderson
          CF Gardner
          RF Ichiro
          DH A-Rod

          BUC Cervelli/Stewart/Romine
          Eduardo Nunez


          2nd lefty (Rapada?)
          Boone Logan

          Pitching is pretty much set but we definitely need a righty OF bat, a true utility player, and someone to hold over the DH spot until A-Rod comes back. I’d take a look at Cody Ross or another righty OF in a trade but our best option for cost might be from within the organization. So I don’t even know where people want us to sign some players unless they want AJ Pierzynski or something like that.

          • Laz says:

            My thinking is that Nunez will get quite a few starts at short, and those days Jeter DHs. Jeter will turn 39 next year and is coming off of a broken ankle. I think as long as there are no major injuries they just need to get through the first 2 months. After that Arod and Youk can play 3rd, Youk and Teix got 1st, Jeter and Nunez can do short. They have versatility. If they have depth like this I’m fine with Nix. I just don’t want to see him getting 200 ab.

  5. nycrefugee says:

    Tiki Barber was promoting Thuzio on Stern last week.

  6. A.D. says:

    Attend a game? Nova going to blow off being with the team to sit in the stands?

    • Preston says:

      This was very strange. Maybe he means he’ll go to your kids tee-ball game or something.

      • Darren says:

        Or a basketball game

        • Preston says:

          “Ivan will join you and your guests and share insight on the game”
          Maybe he has some basketball insight, but it’s still odd. What on earth would you talk about for three hours. I don’t mean this as a criticism because I only speak one language, but Nova’s english isn’t even all that good, it just sounds really awkward.

  7. Reggie C. says:

    Could I pay Nova to actually pitch well?


  8. Get Phelps Up says:

    Anyone seen this?

    While not as bad as Eric Ortiz’s 2011 Red Sox will be the greatest team ever article, it’s still pretty terrible.

    • Rocky Road Redemption says:

      That’s pretty close. I didn’t actually read it, of course, just looked at the title.

      • I Live In My Mom's Basement says:

        The title, of course, is far more extreme than the article. The article basically says, “Toronto will be a lot more fun than everyone else because they are going for it all next year, while no one else is.” Which is basically true. It says they MIGHT win the division, not that they will.

    • Laz says:

      I think its ridiculous some of the talk. They are improved, but they are far from the best team in the league. They were 22 games out, and 25 games out from best team in baseball.

      If Melky and Encaracion don’t repeat their lineup really isn’t all that great. They have Bautista as a middle order bat and that’s it.

      Arenciba and Rasmus both had an obp below .290 last year, also, maicer and Lind really don’t strike any fear in anyone.

      I’d much rather have Youk, Teix, Cano, Granderson in the middle of order, and then arod after first 2 months.

      Also Reyes has gotten injured 3 out of past 4 seasons.

      • Ted Nelson says:

        Yep. They have the talent to win the division with some good luck, but could also be closer to .500 with some bad luck. They got a ton of name value this off-season, which I think people are overrating a bit. They now have a solid rotation, that could be very good should Romero bounce back and/or Morrow stay healthy for a full season… but might not be that great if they don’t with Buerhle and Dickey transitioning back to/to the AL East (I think a lot of people overstate the transition, but there’s a good chance it knocks them down a peg and neither is young anyway so age is a factor about as much as with the Yankees). I agree that their line-up relies on a lot of guys to either repeat career years or bounce back from multiple bad seasons. (I would include Reyes with Bautista as a force in the line-up, though.) I don’t know how their depth is, either. A guy like Gose could step in to produce, or fall on his face like he did in a small but not tiny sample size in 2012.

        It’s amazing to me that the same people can poke endless holes in the Yankees’ roster and simultaneously worship the Blue Jays’ roster…

    • jjyank says:

      Wow. Alright, bookmark this one for fun meme references in ~9 months.

    • MannyGeee says:

      I threw this up on a thread earlier today. It’s not quite the stroke piece as our favorite piece of fan fiction, but yeah. Count them chickens before they hatch much?

    • Pat D says:

      I’m thinking they learned their lesson from the other article you mentioned, and they’re actually going for a reverse jinx situation. They’re hoping this will sabotage the Blue Jays before they get started, thus opening the door for this extreme hodgepodge Red Sox team.

      It’s not their worst idea…

      • Dr. Jake Rosenstein says:

        Eh, they’re going back to the old standby strategy that they relied on for 86 years: ABTY. Anyone but the Yankees. It’s a loser’s lament.

      • Ted Nelson says:

        What do you mean by “hodgepodge?”

        • Pat D says:

          A team where everyone’s going to need a name tag at spring training. A team where they signed a bunch of guys to fill holes, but it’s hard to see how they’re all that better off compared with the team they blew up last year, either financially or on the field.

          That being said, 2013 will see the return of Awesome O’Clock for the Sox.

          • Ted Nelson says:

            I’m not sure ho much cohesion is necessary in MLB. Short of toxic chemistry, guys tend to produce to their individual standards across teams.

            They get more expected production for the same or less cost with less years committed. There’s not much to explain. Crawford and Beckett were albatrosses. Crawford to date had absolutely put any Yankee contract (ever?) to shame. Has made A-Rod look like a bargain. He might turn it around, but he might not. Without knowing everything about his health/other issues, I have no idea what the odds are. The Red Sox probably do, though.

            On the field I expect 4th/5th place, but they certainly have to talent to make a run should all the stars align. Got to be a better roster than the 2012 Orioles. And might still have some moves in them. More SP would be big.

            • Pat D says:

              It just seems to me that they used all the money they cleared for at least the next 2-3 years. Granted that’s not as bad as 4-6 years, but it still seems a pretty mediocre team unless half of their pitchers rebound, Ellsbury stays healthy and Ortiz keeps using steroids…uh, thinking it’s 8 years ago.

            • MannyGeee says:

              “I’m not sure ho much cohesion is necessary in MLB”

              Then explain to me both the Orioles and the A’s last season. Both teams finished MUCH better than the sum of their parts, and in particular the Orioles finishing on some insane tear of extra inning & tie games…

              Those were cohesive teams, and there is something to it.

    • Robinson Tilapia says:


  9. Mystery Team says:

    For a mere 4 grand, your son or daughter will enjoy an afternoon of hitting ringing doubles and towering homeruns off a real live major leaguer.

  10. croy says:

    Anyone else like the thought of a deal for Hank Conger? Young catcher that will fill the C hole at low cost which will help with 189.

  11. Cito Wordekemper says:

    Nova is too pricey. Dave Lapoint, John Flaherty or Rudy May get you a lot more bang for your buck.

    Mickey Rivers is avaialble for your next bank or car dealership opening.

  12. dkidd says:

    my custom request is “pitch the yankees into the postseason”

  13. LarryM., Fl. says:

    Hopefully Nova will not have to throw a bean bag and hit the target at any special affair. If so his fee will go up to $6K to hit the target 3 times within 6 tries.

  14. Brian S. says:

    Sign Bourn for 3-45

  15. Brian S. says:

    Nova sucks LOL

    -this thread

  16. Rocky Road Redemption says:

    2011 was a good year for the Yanks if not a memorable one, but I will always remember 2011 for the 42 ESPN analysts that ALL had the Yankees losing the division. All 42.

    Posting that article on facebook the day the Yankees clinched the division was definitely fun.

    • Get Phelps Up says:

      The 2011 season was great. We got to see Jeter’s 3,000th hit, Mo’s 602nd save, Jorge’s last hurrah, and Colon and Garcia emerge out of nowhere. And of course the collapse of the Greatest Team in Baseball History aka the Red Sox.

    • Mike HC says:

      There are doom and gloomers every year. Even in 09 when we won the WS people were claiming they would miss the playoffs again because CC was merely replacing Moose’s ace 2008 season and Tex replacing Giambi’s 96 rbi .876 ops season.

      • Mike HC says:

        And of course, it almost goes without saying, that Jeter was dead and buried after putting up his worst OPS season in his career in 08 and 35 year old shortstops simply don’t play well. ha

  17. dkidd says:

    someone needs to write a book about the final day of the 2011 regular season and its impact on subsequent baseball history

    • Pat D says:

      What impact? Other than the regime change in Boston, there’s been no lasting impact, and the full impact of that is yet to be determined.

  18. Alkaline says:

    Ugh. Being sick is a drag. I had to leave work early today and it’s a pretty busy week. I’m hoping only working half a day today will prevent me missing tomorrow, but I do not know.

    How is everyone else? I don’t get to comment much, but I enjoy reading.

  19. SA says:

    The Blue Jays are looking awesome this year. Can’t believe all the huge deals they’ve made. Going to be tough to win the division this year unless some big deals are made soon.

    • Ted Nelson says:

      It’s tough to win the AL East every year and the Blue Jays needed to make some huge deals because their team wasn’t all that good entering the off-season. The Yankees, on the other hand, were a good team entering the off-season.

    • MannyGeee says:

      Meh. See Ortiz, Eric… And also, how the Red Sox won the World Series in January2011.

    • Jacob says:

      38 year old knuckler, Oft injured SP coming off a non stellar year, a ss with glass legs playing on artificial turf, soft tossing lefty, a pitcher that was shit last year, multiple injured pitchers, player unlikely to reproduce his monster year, star coming back from an injury. If only people would look at all the negatives for every team the way they look at the yankees.

      • TomH says:

        If only people would look at all the negatives for every team the way they look at the yankees.

        If only people would look at all the negatives for the Yankees the way they look those for other teams.

    • Laz says:

      I still think they got a decent shot at the division. Blue Jays made some big moves, but they needed to make up 22 games.

  20. Deep Thoughts says:

    Rather than Nova be “Available” for $4K, I’d rather pay Alex to change his status to “It’s Complicated.”

  21. pistol pete says:

    Nova wasn’t good last year but is 29 and 14 over 2 plus years at a 4.4 era pitching in the AL East. He was the Yanks No 2 starter in the 2011 playoffs before leaving the playoff game with a forearm injury. I always wondered if he pitched hurting last year because he took a step back. That said it’s tough to knock Nova since his performance well exceeds his cost and he’s still very young and under control. We heard how great Joba and Hughes were for years and their numbers over their first two years weren’t any better than Nova’s. A little too early to get rid of him unless the Yanks know something about his health.

    • Ted Nelson says:

      It was a weird year for Nova. K went way up, BBs went down, but he got hit really hard.

      • Andy Pettitte's Fibula says:

        In 2011 everyone thought if he could only miss a few more bats, he could be a #2 or #3 starter. He missed a lot more bats in 2012 and pitched like a bad #5 starter.

        Go figure?

  22. dkidd says:

    blue jays are improved, but they’re counting heavily on players who are injury risks and/or switching leagues

    i wouldn’t be surprised if johnson/reyes/ee broke down and/or regressed. same goes for andy/mo/jeter. the division is a toss-up this year. should be fun

  23. Preston says:

    I was initially upset, because I thought the title of the thread meant Nova was being shopped. Which strikes me as dumb since we need all the cost controlled players we can get for next season and Nova’s value is low right now. Then I read the post and became even more confused.

  24. RetroRob says:

    Concerned now about the dinner I’m having with Ivan Nova.

  25. MannyGeee says:

    I would pay Ivan Nova to be my wingman and designated driver for a night on the town… No punch line, that would just be fucking dope.

    My wingman is a starting pitcher for the Yankees… Your wingman works the second window at Arby’s. deal with it.

  26. Erica says:

    Well, crap.

    Let me go back to the year 2000 and have Ivan Nova appear at my Bat Mitzvah.

    Though he’s my age, so he’d be a total random party guest.

  27. vin says:

    Thuzio looks awesome.

    Hey Leslie Osborne of the Boston Breakers, the money’s on the dresser.

    • MannyGeee says:

      Oh shit… kobayashi will have lunch or dinner with you for $1500. Pus I would assume another 600 worth of kielbasa or chicken wings or whatever he’ll eat fast that day.

  28. Jacob says:

    Knicks looking like trash tonight

  29. Flyer7 says:

    Swiah for a onne year big $ deal and he goes back on the market next year or multi years with Grandy swapped???

  30. Pat D says:

    So I went to McDonald’s and then found out that the McRib is back?!?

  31. Granderslam says:

    Any shot the Yankees go after Drew Smyly?

  32. Pat D says:


    • Robinson Tilapia says:

      Nature Boy reference?

      • Pat D says:

        Yep, he showed up on Raw tonight.

        • Robinson Tilapia says:

          And got his ass handed to him by new personal favorite Dean Ambrose.

          • Pat D says:

            I’m not sold on The Shield yet. Their gimmick isn’t making complete sense yet.

            • Robinson Tilapia says:

              Two of the guys are great, though. Ambrose is awesome, and Rollins is another solid worker they plucked out of the indies after years.

              • Pat D says:

                Oh, I’m sure I’ll eventually embrace the performers. I’ve grown to like newer guys like Sheamus, Del Rio, Cesaro, Bryan, Sandow and The Miz over the last several years (though I still don’t believe in Ziggler for some reason). But as of yet the gimmick started as “we fight injustice” and has become “we show up and attack who we want and when we want like we’re the early days of the nWo.”

                Which is funny since in that sit down interview they said, “We’re not the nWo.” Well, right now, minus the whole “We’re taking over!” mantra, that’s exactly who they are.

  33. forensic says:

    Had no idea that site even existed. My favorite one I saw looking through quickly is that for only $5000 John Flaherty will be a ‘dynamic speaker’ at your event.

    Have they never heard him on YES before? He’s as far from dynamic as it gets.

    • Robinson Tilapia says:

      My father-in-law used to run the summer music festival for the town they live in Connecticut. I always used to get a kick out of how much it cost to book John Oates, or someone like that.

      If you actually give dalelama a buck fifty and dress like A-Rod….

    • Should I Fister or Pettitte? says:

      I’d pay Kate Upton to sit on my face.

    • Andy Pettitte's Fibula says:

      On some drug plans, Flaherty’s color commentary is preferred over Ambien for people with insomnia.

      He’s about as dynamic a speaker as Cleveland from family guy….though not nearly as funny.

  34. Raul Ibanez AKA Tom Marvolo Riddle AKA True Yankee(TM) says:

    Okay, new plan to get a girl: get Ivan Nova, Keith Hernandez, and Tiki Barber to come out with me for a night on the town. If w/ those 3 I can’t get some one way out of my league I quit life.

  35. MannyGeee says:

    Oakland signed former almost Yankee utility guy and “look what I found” surprise post Hiroyuki Nakajima. For $6.5M plus incentives over two years.

    To think, I am pretty sure the Yankees offered the same type of money last season but he didn’t want to be a utility guy. Ironically, he could have started 120 games last season, and would have started more than 140 this season. And not in that shit Oakland Stadium.

  36. Jmoney says:

    I was actually at a Bar Mitzvah when I was kid in 1993 and Lenny Dykstra showed up. Changed my life…just kidding, it certainly didn’t.

  37. wiljaq Yankfan says:

    2013 N.Y. Yankees R.I.P.

    Do ya see what their doni’ to us Boss?……. we coulda been a contender, we coulda been somethin’. Instead we gotta a 1-way ticket to Palookaville.

  38. Reuben Sierra's Chains says:

    Jets that was bad, wow..

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