The Canseco/A-Rod joke is on…someone

Pettitte will miss first start
A not-so-exclusive secret about Yankee Stadium

By now, you, dear reader, may have read the Jose Canseco/Alex Rodriguez story spreading through the Internet. It started this morning with a Deadspin post, spread to Baseball Think Factory and from there, landed on blogs across the Internet. A little over an hour ago, the story jumped from the Internet to Newsday when Kat O’Brien wrote up a quick story.

There’s only one problem: I think it’s a fake.

The story begins with a column by Joe Lavin, a Boston-based writer. Lavin writes that he’s read a copy of Canseco’s latest book Vindicated put on sale early by a “quaint Cambridge bookstore.” The book, Lavin writes, is full of stories about Magglio Ordonez, Roger Clemens and Alex Rodriguez:

As for Alex Rodriguez, Canseco says he didn’t inject Rodriguez, but that he “introduced Alex to a known supplier of steroids.” Canseco didn’t mention Rodriguez in the first book because he “hated the bastard.” He was worried that people would have “questioned [his] motives” had he included Rodriguez.

Why all the hatred, you ask. Well, Canseco claims that A-Rod was trying to sleep with Canseco’s wife. Apparently, even after Canseco had been nice enough to help A-Rod find a friendly steroids supplier, A-Rod kept calling Canseco’s wife.

Canseco’s ex-wife, Jessica, is a former Hooters girl. Remember the story about A-Rod and his Toronto woman?

Anyway, Lavin claims that Canseco ends with a story in which Mike Wallace asks him, off the record, about the benefits of HGH as though the venerable CBS host wanted to try the hormones himself. If that sounds a little incredible, it’s because Joe Lavin is no mere writer. He’s a Boston-based humorist who pens a bi-weekly humor column. He joked about Google Stalk and penned a parody of a Harry Potter letter last year.

Right now, everyone is falling for his A-Rod/Canseco shtick. But considering the story — aren’t all Cambridge bookstores quaint? — I’m calling this one out. It’s a humor column being reported as news. I could be wrong; maybe Lavin is using his space normally devoted to sarcastic humor for a real breaking news story, but I doubt it. Let’s see how this plays out.

Pettitte will miss first start
A not-so-exclusive secret about Yankee Stadium
  • Rafael


    Has to be true.

    • Ben K.

      And what makes you say that?

      • Rafael

        Ah, I was just being sarcastic…

        Although it turns out I was right. Hmm, go figure.

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  • E-ROC

    Canseco is up to his old tricks again. This dude never quits.

  • Sean McNally

    Take off your tinfoil hat, Ben. ;-)

    A-Rod’s a juicer! Boooooo! And he’s still a choking dog! Booooo! [/sarcasm]

    • Joseph P.

      Do you want to know the terrifying truth? Or do you want to watch me sock some dingers?

      • Sean McNally

        Dingers! Dingers! Dingers!

      • Jamal G.

        Dingers! Dingers! Dingers! Dingers!


  • Tim Dierkes

    I think you’re right Ben. It’s a hoax.

    But even if it’s not – I am surprised so many outlets are quick to run with it when it could so easily be. It’s not unlike that obviously bogus steroid list that came out on the morning of the Mitchell Report.

    • Sean McNally

      Looks like the WWL and AP have picked up on the Canseco thing:

    • Whitey14

      Tim…is that really you? If so, great chat this afternoon. Keep up the great work with MLB Trade Rumors.

  • Edwantsacracker

    I still remember the Barry Bonds Parody that had me freaked out for while. I was sitting in my dorm room at college going who would drink Elk Semen?

  • Tim Dierkes

    Yeah it’s me. Man those chats are harder than I realized. My hat’s off to the ESPN guys who plow through a ton of questions and keep it entertaining.

  • Travis M. Nelson

    I’m inclined to agree that it’s a hoax. Not a very good satire, when nobody could tell it was a satire, is it?

  • Rayblay

    Michael Kay had a copy of the book and read from it on his radio show; the stuff about A-Rod was all in the book (that is not to say that it’s true, of course)

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  • Craig Calcaterra

    If it’s a hoax, it’s a mighty elaborate one, because Deadspin is now running photocopied pages:

  • Craig Calcaterra

    Or I could just have read your last post!


  • Joey h

    what pisses me off the most is that canseco is a destructive self centered jealous prick. he is out to bring down the other players and is happy about it. the guy needs to be institutionalized because he is only making the game worse. mags was offered a deal by canseco to help him with the book and mags sayd OHHHH NO. and yea that pissed off jose and yea now looky whos in the book. now for alex. who has lost like 25lbs over the last three seasons, its a joke, the man never had a-rds natural talent and yes a natural talent is rare these days in the steroid era. i love alex’s comment ” i have absolutely no comment” or something like that

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  • Bortman Stellarstein

    Did I read correctly that A-rod has lost 25 lbs since three seasons ago? Is this right? How is that possible? I’d love to see a bell curve of his weight over career. He seems to be one of the users like so many were who concealed it behind the bloated obvious McGwires, Bonds, Sosa. Why should he get off scott free?

    What makes me laugh is you fools who discount Canseco because he’s outing your bogus heros. Canseco drove the Mitchell report. He may be stretching for money now but he’s still holding names and goods on people like A-rod. Frankly, I don’t care if they used but if they did the people should know. It’s only fair to Bonds n Clemens and the others with the scarlet letter.

    • Joey h

      He lost alot of weight. thats a fact and a reason for his improoved fieldng. and if you got a problem with our heros dont come back to OUR site jackass!