It’s hard out here for a pimp

A tale of scoreboard trivia woe on an offense-less eve
Steve Phillips was once the GM of a large market Major League Baseball club

Life is rough for Derek Jeter. The Yanks’ star short stop has, according to an amNew York report, dated six members of Maxim’s 2008 Hot List. Jessica Biel, Scarlett Johansson, Mariah Carey, Vanessa Minnillo, Gabrielle Union and Jessica Alba make up the lucky six.

A tale of scoreboard trivia woe on an offense-less eve
Steve Phillips was once the GM of a large market Major League Baseball club
  • Jamal G.

    I still think of incest when it comes to Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon being married.

    I don’t know, I don’t see the big appeal with Jessica Biel. Saw pics of her sans make-up…eck.

  • Scott

    Only 6 of them, that’s kind of disappointing…I guess I’m the only one who isn’t impressed by that…

    • Ben K.

      Only Derek Jeter would be described as “disappointing” because he’s dated only six of the 100 hottest women around. I hear he can’t go to his left too well either.

    • Joey

      How many were you with? Must be more than six if Jeter’s numbers are so unimpressive :)

  • Adam

    maybe derek should talk a walk or hit something other than a single. he’s juan pierre without the stolen bases.

    • JJ

      Haha. Damn right he is!

  • TurnTwo

    wow, tough crowd.

  • yankeemonkey

    River Ave. Blues:

    Come for hard-hitting baseball analysis, stay for hot Page Six gossip!

  • Brandon

    he never dated Gabrielle Union, the 2007 report was BS she was dating Jason Kidd of the then NJ Nets. Jetes been a pimp but it’s not like everyone thinks. Impressive list of may or may nots though.

  • Mike A.

    Johansson and Biel are in the Top 10. Jessica Alba trumps all I say.

    • Jamal G.

      Lauren London, Stacey Dash and Kate Hudson are my tops.

      • tommiesmithjohncarlos

        I am utterly shocked by that. You’re the first person I could imagine who would find those three women all attractive.

        I’m down with London and Stacey Dash (who looks AMAZING for 42 with a kid). But Kate Hudson? Really? She looks utterly average to me…

        That’s like saying the best three Yankees of the past 30 years are ARod, Jeter, and Matt Nokes.

  • chris

    i hope those calling him juan pierre without the steals is joking. this guy has a chance to break Rose’s hit ecod. how many staight years has he has 200 hits? Pretty sure he has done it in more consectutive years tans piee has done his entire career.

    now if you want to attack his defense, i am all aboard, but hitting .320 very year isnt exactly easy.

    • Adam

      yes, my post was in jest, and i was not comparing derek’s career to pierre’s career, i was comparing derek’s season to date with that of a typical pierre season. 4 walks and 7 extra base hits (with no home runs) in 124 plate appearances is terrible.

  • waswhining

    This from Fire JoeMorgan. Had to pass it on:

    Times are slow in the sports metacommentary world. In lieu of more journo-evisceration, here are two tidbits about two of our favorite subjects, A-Rod and Juan Pierre.

    First thing: thank you, Cynthia Rodriguez for fulfilling the media’s dreams by revealing that A-Rod is incredibly unclutch even in real life.

    “As tough and big as he seems, he is real wimpy around doctors or any type of medical situation,” Cynthia Rodriguez said. “I was, like, not even having a baby; he was the one. The one nurse had a cold cloth on his head, the other nurse had the blood pressure on his arm and my mother was like rubbing his back — and he is passed out on a couch.

    “And I am there, in the middle of labor, and really, I am not being paid much attention to besides the doctor and a couple of nurses. And he is there, moaning. In between pushing, I am going, ‘Honey, are you OK?’ And are you breathing? Are you OK?'”

    Derek Jeter, of course, regularly attends childbirths for fun and is a licensed obstetrician/gynecologist in twelve states. Delivered two of Mariano’s kids — without fancy medical tools. Just his hands, his calm eyes, his gut, and a shovel.

    Cut the Juan Pierre.

    • tommiesmithjohncarlos

      ARod no doubt passed out only because he was having a fantasy about the super-sexy Jessica Canseco.

  • Rich

    Carey is hot??????????

  • barry

    Jeter is the fucking man, both figuratively and literally.

  • chris

    i apologize adam — someitmes difficult to pick up sarcasim in a post. if anything jeter now has to be considered to be the best player ever. think of all the publicity that Pavano got for dating alyssa milano and he was crap.

    by the way, has the derek jeter giving or getting herpes from jessica biel ever been dispoved? his ealy slump may have something to do with an massive ourtbreak. having that type of rash has to upset his swing.

    and maybe, just maybe he didnt get herpes from jessica. after all, they do say that he does prefer the other day.

    p.s. anyone hear the interview with ARods woman regarding her database. he needed more attention from the doctors than she did. apparently, his inability to handle pressure extends past the baseball diamond

  • Beau

    I think so highly of Derek’s baller status on and off the field I named my new dog Jeter. That’s not a joke either!=) I hear he will start doing some charity dating and big Hank will be raffling off tickets to the Yankee stadium crowd to raise money to pry Johan away from the Mets, still keeping the big three.=)

  • Scott

    I’ve personally not been with any of them…but i’m not derek jeter either…

  • Mike P

    The question is not how many of them was he with. The question is, how many of them was he with at the same time? Furthermore, how many times did he hit for the cycle?

  • Eric

    So he’s batting .060 with the Top 100. Disappointing. He’s got to get that average over .100 if he wants to make the hall of fame.