“Our first speaker was born in the year 470 B.C., a time when much of the world looked like the Led Zeppelin album Houses of the Holy.”
- Ted “Theodore” Logan

Houses of the Holy is Led Zeppelin’s best album. The word “best,” of course, is highly subjective; whatever is considered best is usually a matter of opinion and therefore highly disputable. In this case, however, it holds pretty strong. Even the most talented and ambitious bands would have a hard time topping Houses of the Holy with a greatest hits compilation. From Track 1, The Song Remains the Same, through Track 8, The Ocean, the album straight rocks. Not a bad song on it — and I’d go even further and say there’s not even a just-decent song on it. When it comes to favorite albums of all time, this one is tops in my book.

On the train ride back to New York yesterday I listened to the album twice. While listening to The Ocean on the walk back to my apartment, I wondered how that album would play out as a baseball lineup. Surely it wouldn’t go in order — Song Remains the Same is too powerful to be a leadoff hitter, and there’s no way you waste a track like The Ocean hitting eighth. No, such an analysis requires a rearrangement of the tracks.

My only problem was that there are only eight tracks on the album. Eh, so NL lineups have eight real hitters. Just assume the pitcher’s hitting ninth.

The criteria wasn’t easy to determine. Clearly, the more powerful tracks, including power ballads, are the power hitters. The songs you can listen to over and over and over again are your on-base guys. Faster songs could signify speed, but I wouldn’t want to lump slower songs into the slower hitter category, so I didn’t take this into account (and really, there aren’t any blazing songs on the album anyway). Basically, I listed the songs in order of how awesome I consider them, and then moved them around for nuance — like how The Book looks at lineups. So, without further ado:

1. The Ocean

One of the best rock riffs on the album, if not the very best. True to the statement above about OBP, I’ve listened to The Ocean more times than any other song on the album, mainly because live versions of it take rocking to a whole new level. It’s got power in that it’s one of the heavier songs on the album, but it’s not a big time power-hitter like the songs you’ll see in the Nos. 4 and 5 spots.

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2. Over the Hills and Far Away

Even if you’re not a Zep fan, you probably know Over the Hills and Far Away. It’s one of their most visible songs after Stairway to Heaven (No Stairway. Denied!). You might also know it from douchebag acoustic guitar players who play the opening lick and that’s it. Anyway, this is a No. 2 hitter like Mark Teixeira was in The Book analysis. One of the top three hitters on the team, but since it has some power it doesn’t lead off. This one obviously has tons of replay value, too.

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3. The Crunge

Where’s that confounded bridge? This is definitely the weirdest song on the album, and a personal favorite of mine. It’s all funk front to back, featuring two licks that repeat throughout (hence Plant asking where is the bridge). Also, the horn/synth on the song sounds so absurd, yet it fits in so so well. The drums are John Bonham at his finest — and that says a lot, since he had one of the best/fastest snare hands in the biz.

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4. The Song Remains the Same

This epic track opens up Houses of the Holy, and it really does set the the tone for the album. In fact, in constructing this list I knew right off the bat that Song Remains would hit cleanup. It’s a powerful track, featuring plenty of sick Jimmy Page leads, a breakdown into half time, and what is perhaps one of the coolest riffs in rock history (starts at 4:42 on the album track, not on the below-linked live version). Page recalls that it was supposed to be an instrumental at first, but Robert Plant jumped in with some lyrics (he also suggested the breakdown). I had heard somewhere that this was Jimmy Page’s response to criticism that he wasn’t as good a songwriter as Pete Townsend, but can’t find anything to back that up with multiple Google searches.

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5. Rain Song

As mentioned in the criteria, power ballad means power, and Rain Song is certainly a power ballad. In my younger days I didn’t appreciate the song nearly as much as I do today. It starts off slow, and Zeppelin is supposed to rock, went my immature reasoning. Now, though, it’s a song I can get into a groove listening to. It’s not overplayed like Stairway, which is a relief because I’d hate to have this song ruined by too much radio play and, again, douchebag guitarists. I can absolutely see Rain Song knocking in plenty of runs in the fifth slot.

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6. D’yer Mak’er

This is yet another one you probably all know. It’s Zeppelin’s foray into reggae, and I’d say it comes out quite successfully. That’s another reason I love House: it isn’t pegged into one musical genre. It doesn’t cover the spectrum like, say, London Calling, but it’s not straight blues rockers like Led Zeppelin II (though that’s easily my second favorite Zep disc). D’yer Mak’er gets play all over the place, from classic rock stations like Q104.3 to mix stations like 92.3 (sorry for you non-New Yorkers/non-New Jersians). Apparently bassist John Paul Jones didn’t dig the track, but he might be the only one. It’s one helluva groove. The only difficult part about ranking this song is that I couldn’t put it higher.

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7. Dancing Days

When I ran the idea of this post by a few people, I got multiple responses of Dancing Days as the No. 2 hitter. If this were a song written by another band on another album, it would probably be a No. 2 hitter, but on this album it’s up against stiff competition. It doesn’t have the OBP skills of The Ocean, in that I can’t listen to it ad infinitum, but it still has a killer lyrical groove. Plus, Page does some excellent work with the lead guitar accents during the verses. Also, the tone he uses for the main riff is something I’ve never been able to replicate. Bonus points for the synth/organ work.

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8. No Quarter

This was an easy designation for the No. 8 spot. It’s not that I don’t like the song, but it’s clearly the worst on an album (again, one good enough to be most bands’ greatest hits). The riff is particularly cool, but the song is a slow-paced one and doesn’t have the melodic and beautiful acoustic guitar parts to like Rain Song. Still, it’s a great listen, and the spot in the batting order is more a function of the rest of the album than it is of this song by itself. After all, someone’s got to hit eighth.

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If anyone wants to jump in on this, pick your favorite album and put it to a batting order. Don’t worry if it has 16 tracks or 8 — though 8 would probably be the minimum.

Last week I put together a Yahoo group at the last second for this year’s NCAA Tournament, spending no more than a nano-second thinking up the RAB Bracket Busters nickname. Even though I posted the group info barely an hour before the first tip-off, we still managed to get forty-four people to join.

I’m not overly interested in college basketball, but I do have an idea of what goes on throughout the year. However I followed less than usual this year, so I figured my brackets were going to go boom before the weekend even started. I got lucky though, losing just seven of the thirty-two frst round games, and only one of those losses could haunt me beyond the second round (Wake Forest). The weekend went well, and I’m currently sitting pretty with thirteen of Sweet Sixteen correct (the misses are Wake, Washington, and Texas). I had Washinton in the Elite Eight, which kinda sucks, but whatever.

My Final Four is pretty standard - Louisville, Memphis, Pitt and Oklahoma - as is my Championship matchup (Pitt over Louisville). I’m tied for fifth place in our league with 51 points, and I’m well within striking distance of the leader’s 55 points. The scoring doubles each round (one points in the first round, two points in the second, four in the third, etc), so one game means a big swing now. Current standings are after the jump, if you’re interested.

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The NCAA Tournament kicks off this afternoon, and I started a Tournament Challenge group at Yahoo that you can join. There aren’t any prizes, just bragging rights, but you’ll get to pick your brackets and have fun following along. The scoring doubles each round, from one point in the first round to two points in the second to four in the fourth, and so on. If you want in, go here and click “Join A Group.”

League ID#: 187724
Password: hiphipjorge (not sure if it’s case sensitive)

There’s a limit of 500 people in the group, so first come first serve. The games start in like, an hour, so get to filling your brackets out. Oh, and if you have anything you want us to answer in today’s podcast, email it to either Joe or myself using the links on the right.

I love tattoos. Got my first one when I was 18, and then got myself another for my 19th birthday. Then I quit my job to start taking classes full-time and have never had enough of a cash surplus to continue. One day, hopefully soon, I’ll start working my way down my arm. This post isn’t about me, though, it’s about the Yankees pitchers and their ink. Kat O’Brien writes about A.J. Burnett, CC Sabathia, Brian Bruney, and Joba Chamberlain, whose lockers all share a wall, and who all have a number of tattoos.

Apparently A.J. is covered head to toe in ink. Well, except below the elbow; colored tattoos there would mean he’d have to wear long sleeves to pitch. Strangest tatt: a picture of himself pitching on his left ankle. What is he, Steve-O? I suppose the Godzilla tatt makes up for it.

(Also, I did not know that Burnett was in a band with Tim Spooneybarger, which is all sorts of awesome.)

Joba has mostly words — sayings he lives by — tattooed on his body. He claims his entire arm will be covered by next year. Will we see Joba in long sleeves for the rest of his career, or will he be like Burnett and keep them above the elbow?

You might remember Sabathia’s tattoos from an earlier post. It looks like he had nothing below the elbow last year in Milwaukee, but now his entire right arm is covered. He keeps a list of loved ones he’s lost on his right arm above the elbow.

Finally, Burney. I can’t stand the tattoo he has on his forearm. He has 12, so the others might compensate, but man, it’s just like the Independent logo. Maybe it’s just me, but I think if you’re going to get a tatt you don’t go pick something off the poster board at the shop.

Just for kicks, here’s the one on my left arm.

Scary, eh?